Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in...

By yourmom - 21/09/2010 05:46 - United States

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 951

You deserved it 9 499

Miscellaneous

Taking stock

Unfortunate

Classic

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 08:52 - United States

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 646

You deserved it 3 083

By fuckface? I wish - 30/11/2013 20:29 - Australia - Diamond Beach

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 887

You deserved it 5 463

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, I was at Wal-Mart and I asked a guy who worked there where the scrapbooking stuff was. He led me to the aisle where it was and then said, "By the way, I don't work here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 012

You deserved it 31 556

Zoom off

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 07:59

Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 776

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 213

You deserved it 8 884

By smoothies14 - 06/11/2015 17:29 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I was studying on a bench outside my dorm when the leg snapped. I decided to do the right thing and let administration know what happened. After assuring me it wasn't my fault, and having me fill out an incident report, they billed me $400. I can't enroll for next semester until I pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 353

You deserved it 2 417

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 04:07 - United States - Apache Junction

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 387

You deserved it 4 841

By fuckedup - 13/11/2009 19:13 - Germany

Today, I found out that my mom called my boss informing him that I am a little behind on some college projects. She felt he should know that she fears I might not be able to graduate on the planned date. My boss had already offered me a permanent job. I may not get that job now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 933

You deserved it 3 055

By Just Lonely - 04/09/2016 05:04 - United States - La Place

Today, after not hanging out with anyone the whole year, a guy finally asked me to go the movies with him. When I asked what time, he said, "Never mind, I found another girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 964

By Anonymous - 28/04/2018 01:30

Today, I spent 900 dollars on a ticket for my boyfriend to visit me and he missed the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 206

You deserved it 544

By fox_at_heart - 30/09/2016 02:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the 4th time a month ago. He is now back in prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 791

You deserved it 760

By anon - 18/03/2011 12:36

Today, I finally got the courage to say to my boyfriend that I feel invisible and ignored. To this he said 'You aren't invisible, I mean, look at that nose.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 446

You deserved it 7 664

By Anonymous - 30/06/2014 01:25 - United States - Butler

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 950

You deserved it 11 988

By dukemisery - 12/12/2016 09:33 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, after being trapped in an elevator for 4 hours, I really had to pee. Just when I decided to pee in the elevator shaft, the lift doors opened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 947

You deserved it 1 127

Booze don't cure the blues

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 07:58 - United States - Edison

Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 130

By nearly a crazy lady - 12/08/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 318

You deserved it 3 224

By FaceTime issues - 06/04/2014 06:57 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 4 991

Nice try…

By Anonymous - 18/02/2015 18:06 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 451

You deserved it 64 145

Dads gonna dad

By biggrl - 11/05/2021 08:00 - South Africa

Today, I had to ask my dad to drop me off at my doctor's appointment. He insisted on coming up to the waiting room with me. When my doctor came out, he greeted her with, "Hi, I'm the dad, but I won't sit in because she's a 'big girl now'." I'm 21, and I was at my gyno check-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 101

By HM - 06/04/2011 17:28 - Germany

Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 706

You deserved it 3 565

By where's the epipen - 23/10/2016 06:41 - United States - Tampa

Today, I accidentally stepped on a dead bee. The stinger was still intact. How do I know? It stung my foot. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 767

You deserved it 872

By whaaaaat111 - 09/03/2013 12:04 - United States - Vienna

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 610

You deserved it 2 744

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 863

You deserved it 5 350

By skippy_liz - 26/10/2010 07:48 - United States

Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 498

You deserved it 8 877

By Anonymous - 25/08/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my parents on their first day back from New York with candles I made. I used actual lavender flecks from our garden for the scent in the candles. My plan worked until the lavender caught on fire which then spread to all of our mail and newspapers. Welcome home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 11 680

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 006

You deserved it 47 249

By foreveryoung - 30/04/2016 16:23 - France

Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 859

You deserved it 3 266

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 523

You deserved it 11 320

By IVOaf - 26/02/2014 20:55 - United States

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 505

You deserved it 4 845

Some pain, no gain

By Charity Taylor - 18/10/2019 22:00

Today, after establishing that we have no idea what's wrong with me, only that it's chronic pain, my doctor informed me that even though I've been dealing with increasingly worse symptoms for years, I'm not a "good applicant" for pain medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 127

By Professional - 29/05/2017 14:00

Today, I was fed up with things being taken from my room so I installed a key-locking handle on my door. I installed everything but the door knobs, and because I was worried that I would put the two of them on backwards, I closed the door to check. I'm now locked in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 3 955

Thanks Boris!

By Ella - 15/01/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after Boris made his Monday night lockdown announcement, my husband announced that no way can he handle another lockdown stuck in the house with me and two teenagers, so he drove all night to our static caravan and insists he’s staying there alone until lockdown is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 664

You deserved it 3 871

By Luke - 10/09/2015 05:56 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was robbed. I didn't know how the robber got in, as there was no clear signs of forced entry. I later found out that my psycho ex had written my address on the key I lent her when we were going out. And then purposely left it on a table in a café. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 164

You deserved it 2 596

Technologically challenged

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 05:01

Today, my aged mother continued to complain about her computer issues to me. A relative, who is good at tech support, won't bother servicing her computer because whatever she does ends up bogging it down the next day, so I have to hear about it on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 16:37 - United States

Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 580

You deserved it 9 875

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 645

You deserved it 5 766

By Metime - 05/11/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 634

You deserved it 33 275

Caring

By Anonymous - 18/03/2020 08:09

Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 99

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 4 038

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Top comments

Jimboom 11

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:19

At that point you should have gone all Austin Powers on her... yea baby.. make love to the camera.. thats it. You're a tiger...

pancake_mixx 9

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:10

I can imagine this happening. She hit you with her purse right?

xohockeyfreak10x 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:08

haha thatss prettyy funny. she must have been offended.

pntbttr 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:22

lol did you realize she was real when she started posing

ReconX 2

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:40

Why doesn't this comment have like 80 replies????!

yomama126 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:51

good point # 23

missmurderx 8

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 13:12

because everyones asleep:p it's only six here lol(:

Girreth 7

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 13:26

Today, I was at a museum when I see an ugly person taking pictures of me. Guess I'm still hot, even in my 80's. MLIA

CitrusGirl 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 13:34

36=win

I_iz_special 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 13:56

let's add a comment then... ugh why won't my posts show well I got one on another fml and 3rd time is the charm right?---well I think that the op has bad eyesight or that the wax museum makes great realistic statues.

Girreth 7

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 14:15

Moderated? I thought you loved me! D:

MrFerret 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 15:29

Ur lucky u didn't like start humping her leg and taking pics thinking she was fake. It happened to me once, I inpregnated an entire museum. (Ps this is Chuck Norris, Motha Bitches!)

MrFerret 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 15:32

Ur lucky u didn't like start humping her leg and taking pics thinking she was fake. It happened to me once, I impregnated a whole museum of women. (Ps this is Chuck Norris, Motha Bitches!)

MrFerret 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 15:34

F*** U comment bug!!!!

ThePwnapple 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 16:08

Motha Bitches?

cheapluxury 4

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 16:10

In Soviet Russia, comment bug F*** U... lol what?

Dat_NewNew 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 1:20

FYL? FHL!

Scarshadow101 6

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Saturday 20 October 2012 20:07

LOL!! This was HILARIOUS!! Made my day. That must've been super awkward, OP.

brokenclockwork 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:10

lolol that's hilarious.

fmlbrooo 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 20:38

Laugh Out Loud Out Loud?

UHGG 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 1:08

I think it might be Lots Of Laughing Out Loud...

ThePwnapple 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:10

YDI for looking at wax people. What are you, 5?

thrasher9081 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 20:16

Well I'm from Las Vegas and they have a wax museum down on the strip thats pretty well-known and it was really cool. I'm not five :(

pancake_mixx 9

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:10

I can imagine this happening. She hit you with her purse right?

zarii 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 13:35

she was naked. (i guess)

swimmerstud 7

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 16:29

wax figures can be dressed.....

nerdsgetmehot 22

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 17:04

Wax figures are always dressed, aren't they?

WhyTheFace4 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 18:28

Not the naked ones...

PimpdaddyCJT 13

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 2:11

good point ^^

saragr94 2

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:12

haha, well done.

Illyssa_fml 4

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:15

haha!!! was she standing that still??

sonnet 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:17

should've shook ur dingydangy at her

rciccone 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 16:22

picture of humping her while she moans hahaha

modelshark 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:17

she should have been happy bc some1 took her pic

Juicycouture93 0

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 15:12

Awesome pik

twinkybandit 2

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:19

lol I woulda played it off like I came with my grandma & then pretended to look for her that's funny not FML

Jimboom 11

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Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:19

At that point you should have gone all Austin Powers on her... yea baby.. make love to the camera.. thats it. You're a tiger...

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 43

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 25

Spicy

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 78

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 31

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