Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with... - FML

By MalariaFree - Uganda

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

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Thanks for all the help

Work sucks, I know

Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop

By Anonymous

Today, I was verbally harassed by a customer because I wouldn’t give her special treatment after her meal was incorrect. I offered her a refund and a coupon for a free meal, which she refused before calling me a stupid kid who wouldn’t do anything to help her. FML

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By peachesthepigeon - United States

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

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By slapstick1982 - United States - Ashford

Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML

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By goatvideosarelame - Singapore

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

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By Squishy - United Kingdom

Today, my loving boyfriend told me that he wanted to go to the cinema with the girl he loves. The other girl he loves, but don't worry it's "not" a date. FML

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By Calimero0 - 24/3/2020 16:00

All-natural, Facebook-sourced, Mother-in-law

Today, my mother-in-law thinks she's the only person in the world who can stop the coronavirus crisis. So far, she has brought thyme, honey, lemons, parsley, ridiculously expensive and poisonous silver water and, of course, the cure-all: berry juice. You'd wonder how I have managed to keep my family alive until now. FML

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By robbed - United States

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

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By Wick - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

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By Alpha - Estonia

Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML

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By dmvfail - United States

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

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By loser - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

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By youngboob - United States - Topeka

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

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By keiran123 - United States - Welsh

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML

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By merrymary - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

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By lonely - United States

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

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By Fido - United States

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

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By embarrassed girl - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Spring Hope

Today, I am sitting next to a guy who very clearly has lice crawling on his head. It's a six hour flight. FML

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By Ohgreat - United States

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

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By Steve - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

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By thankshun13 - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

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By midnightblade163 - Australia - Caringbah

Today, at work a customer yelled at me, called me a 'fucking bitch', 'a fat whore', and, told me to lose weight because I wouldn't let her in the grocery store I work at to buy lettuce, after we'd closed. Lettuce for her lizard. FML

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By ZiggyTink - United States - North Branch

Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

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By yikes78 - United States

Today, I went to Macy's to buy some bras. After I paid, the old lady cashier noticed there was pen on one of the bras. By accident I blurted out "It's alright. No one's seeing them." The old lady nodded back in agreement. FML

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By Firepussy911

Today, my husband decided to literally spice things up. He put a "small amount" of hot-sauce in our lubricant without telling me. He thought 1,000,000 Scoville units would make me cum. The only one who came was the paramedic. FML

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By pacelily - United States - San Marcos

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors and their 4 kids all under the age of 6. I met them due to all the thudding upstairs. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

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By KittyKat168 - Germany

Today, I managed to spill Superglue on the one place you absolutely shouldn't spill Superglue. FML

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By FartyCar

Today, I found a bag of frozen broccoli in my car boot from when I went shopping 3 days ago. My whole car smells like farts now. FML

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By recordyear - United States

Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

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By anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

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By Depressed - United States

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

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By yollew - United States

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

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By wmhh26

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I've been "spending too much time at the bar." I've been sober for 2 years. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

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By Crushed

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for months invited me on a group hiking trip this weekend so that she won't be the most out of shape person on the trail. FML

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Top comments

By readytofall69 | 0

#303963 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:13

That sucks but is at least your helping ugandians I commend you for that.

By wikifoo | 0

#304089 - Sunday 14 June 2009 17:06

Sorry about that ;however , THANK YOU for your humanatarian efforts

COMMENTS

By FreddyLunch | 0

#303934 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:03

Exotic and erotic.

By skullet | 0

#303936 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:03

whoa that sucks :(

Reply

friedchickenpie | 14

#4587108 - Tuesday 19 June 2012 19:15

I know, right? Uganda be kidding me.

By funsize003 | 0

#303953 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:09

well that sucks big hairy balllsss.

By readytofall69 | 0

#303963 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:13

That sucks but is at least your helping ugandians I commend you for that.

Reply

CupcakePookie | 0

#392858 - Monday 13 July 2009 17:20

it's ugandans not ugandians..lol

By Fllyleaf | 0

#303974 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:18

Awwwwh..

By boundforglorywt | 0

#303977 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:18

7th

By touchableturtle | 0

#303978 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:18

that sounds really interesting. when you get back home it'll make a good story.

as a side note, i'm seething with jealousy for your interesting life.

By lesp | 6

#303987 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:20

Don't they boil it first to avoid this kinda thing?

By perfectwinds | 0

#303991 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:21

Don't drink the water... But hindsight is 20/20 they say. =P

By burkey | 0

#303992 - Sunday 14 June 2009 16:21

oo I feel you dude, I was working with a NGO in Peru last month, and I've been sick ever since