By partycats - United States
Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML
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  saminess714  |  0

Exactly, what else would the OP have said? It's common courtesy to ask "and you?" when someone asks how you are.

FYL, but I'm sure he didn't mean to overreact so much. He's very upset, don't take it personally.

  jasonsaied  |  1

I'm pretty sure the FML is that the OP said he/she was good

  cydnee  |  0

of it's a family member...shouldn't OP know about the death? but then again..if the family member asked "how are you?" and OP"good and you?" it could be considered another way if saying "are you doing okay?"


@8: It doesn't actually say he was related. #2 got confused by the use of the phrase "one of the family members"

@OP: Eh. It's not your fault- TOTAL overreaction from the guy. I mean, I understand that it's sad to lose your mum, but most people are able to cope with grief in a normal way. I mean, unless the guy was really young, then I would understand cos it's hard to lose your mum before it's her time, but if she died at an old age after leading a good life, I see no reason for him to be that angry.

  kirby229  |  0

i see no reason to overreact that much period. yes, it's sad for the guy, but he doesn't need to yell at you over it. It's understandable that you said "how about you?" without thinking about it. he was acting like a dramatic child.

  Mausler  |  0

@everyone bashing the family member: There is no wrong way to grieve. If yelling at the OP made that guy feel better I'd let him yell at me all day long. No one is at fault. There isn't always someone to blame so get over it.

@OP: it sucks you were falsely made to look like an asshole, but i highly doubt the family is judging you because the son got upset. Not your fault, i did the same thing at a funeral and although no one made a scene i still felt like shit for saying "good". Sometimes we just forget to think before we speak.

Note to some people: its not okay to say you're feeling good at a funeral. Use a neutral term instead like alright. Using a positive term like good when everyone else in clearly in a negative situation only gives the impression that you're rubbing it in, even if thats not how you intended it.

  seb12992  |  0

I agree. FYL to the OP, and anyone who voted YDI (Yes, all 4,000+ people who voted YDI) is a complete idiot. There's nothing wrong with what the OP did, the jackass who's mom died is just a dick.


hmm let me see.. his mother just died. i'm guessing he's a little upset right now and is grieving. you can't really fault him. it's not the OP's fault either, although maybe she should have thought a little more before she spoke.


well if you've already lost someone, you would certainly know you don't say thinks like "hey, I'm good! how about you?" on a funeral. And according to his extreme reaction, she didn't just say it in a soft, comprehensive way, but probably very bright and cheerful.

  heyyou1203  |  0

If the OP had said something like, "Hey you look great!" or otherwise inappropriate comment, yea the yelling would be called for. but "How are you?" is a rather innocuous, innocent comment, asking about the state of the person. Everyone grieves differently, and some people react more strongly.

  yeahsurre  |  0

i dont think his extreme reaction is a reflection if her. i think its a reflection of how fucking crazy he is. maybe he's not like that all the time, and is really stressed cause his mom died?

  sulitak  |  27

If someone asked "how are you" to me at a funeral of someone close to me (which they have) I would say "still getting used to it but I know they're not in pain anymore" (most of my close relatives had cancer when they died... so the pain comment is valid.)

By  sahara_fml  |  0

Yeah, that guy needs to chill the fuck out. Even if you were on auto-pilot, most normal people would have interpreted that as "how are you holding up, etc." I'm sure he is grief-stricken but that doesn't give him the right to be an asshole to others, especially others who are being polite to him.