Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their... - FML

By Hello my name is - 22/2/2009 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my Grandparents' living room. FML

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All for nothing

Basic Instinct

Doomed

By Maddy - 10/3/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

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By ournhd - 13/11/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/7/2015 19:46 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

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By ewmomew - 12/9/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

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By Chronicus Ironia - 17/10/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML

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By horny and alone - 4/11/2018 03:00

Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place and sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 14:43 - United States - Tyler

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

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By nowimbroketoo - 22/7/2013 17:47 - Australia - Beaumaris

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/3/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I still have the bronchitis and the stomach flu that I suffered through all weekend. Today was to be the day I had my bachelorette party and wedding shower. I had to call both of them off. FML

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By LearnGeographyUSA - 12/12/2012 06:45 - United States - Kirkland

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/7/2014 20:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

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By SweetDreamsTibi - 10/2/2019 12:00

Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML

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By Anyom - 27/7/2016 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine 3 weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealer ship to pick me up. She backed in to my car. FML

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By mattttbob - 4/2/2012 10:16 - Australia

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

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By i believe in shaq - 19/8/2012 22:28 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my husband announced that he was fed up with us being known as the neighborhood slobs, and prepared to take down all the Christmas decorations still up from last year. He then decided it was too much effort, and that he'd leave them up to give us a three month head-start. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/1/2020 05:00

Nice pic

Today, for the first time in my life, I sent a member pic to a girl I had been talking to for a few days on Snapchat. (she had asked me for it). She saw the pic, and blocked me. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/8/2013 17:59 - United States - Santa Rosa Beach

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

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By Anonymous - 18/1/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

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By CrappyValentine - 14/2/2012 18:56 - Netherlands

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

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By Iamthatgirl - 27/8/2014 04:56 - United States - Ada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

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By Anonymous - 13/3/2015 19:35 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

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By ... - 2/10/2012 20:55 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 12:00 - Australia

Family Ties

Today, I found out via Facebook that my older sister just had another baby, a whole week ago, whose name is my middle name. No one told me. I didn't even know she was pregnant. FML

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By Unsatisfied - 16/12/2009 06:15 - Canada

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

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By cmart_9 - 29/10/2013 04:24 - United States - Clayton

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

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By Thanks guys - 26/11/2013 05:21 - United States - Richmond

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2014 21:27 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/5/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a long overdue vacation to France with my husband and young daughter. As revenge for an earlier prank, my sister has apparently taught my daughter to swear profusely in French. FML

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By tanisLX - 25/10/2014 21:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to the police station to find out if the tint on my new car's windshield was too dark. The officer took one look, told me that windshield tints are illegal in California, and ticketed me. So much for being honest. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/5/2019 03:10

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

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By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 23:23 - United States

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

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By munnyfish - 7/11/2009 07:16 - Canada

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

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By drunkennight - 23/11/2009 03:45 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/8/2009 08:21 - United States

Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML

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By - 1/1/2019 11:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML

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By bitch - 4/8/2010 01:19 - United States

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

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By Ilovelife07 - 19/9/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

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By ImilkedYourMom - 3/5/2016 13:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, after a 14-mile bike tour in Chicago, I got rug burn on my inner thighs. Having the hostel room all by myself for the last couple of days, I got naked and let the air conditioner cool me off. I then had to explain to my roommate that walked in on me that I seriously was not jerking off. FML

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By cherry - 10/4/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML

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Top comments

By brodizzle | 0

#5704 - Monday 23 February 2009 7:22

"Your all pathetic for correcting the spelling" <-- made my day

By zach5432 | 3

#1300120 - Wednesday 25 August 2010 19:33

he's from the uk. he's spelling right for where he is. get your facts straight

COMMENTS

By mleeb | 0

#5627 - Monday 23 February 2009 3:30

who cares? go to your myspace blog for this nonsense.

By bobdole | 0

#5631 - Monday 23 February 2009 3:39

arab babes? good thing they were completely covered! ha.

By blacklagoon_fml | 0

#5646 - Monday 23 February 2009 4:11

So? This isnt a big deal, I could make more entertaining FMLs out of shit that happened today while I was alone in my room.

By ilawlzatyou | 0

#5660 - Monday 23 February 2009 5:05

lmfao, i love that no matter where/what it is, people will fight over the internet.

You know the saying, fighting over the internet is like the special Olympics....

By Amkii | 0

#5664 - Monday 23 February 2009 5:16

And Arab porn, nonetheless! They must have been offended on several levels! haha It's not like you intentionally turned it to that.

#1 - Really? REALLY? All I can see is inadvertly as wrong.

#10 - LOL! I was thinking the same thing!

#12 - The English tend to say round instead of around. I guess he could have at least put 'round. The random capitalization confuses me too... Porn, Grandparents... weird. Lots of people do that, though, I've seen. Another thing that makes me mad is people putting apostrophes everywhere... like "CD's" or "towel's" when referring to plurals.

#14 - Why don't you comment on the FML instead of our arguments? Grammar Police are everywhere and will usually comment if they have a chance to!

#18 - Do you honestly think he did it on purpose?

#19 - I agree! My dad loves that saying about the internet being like the Special Olympics, lol!

Reply

Maxwellminpin | 19

#6588851 - Tuesday 26 April 2016 4:36

Okay, 21, we don't need to know your life's story

By AliSama | 17

#5666 - Monday 23 February 2009 5:18

we have mid eastern satellite. this is made up.

By KatieWagnerFab | 0

#5685 - Monday 23 February 2009 6:18

Wow you guys made a big deal over spelling. WHO CARES?

And how do you know dont watch that hwne youre not around??????

By holynemesis1208 | 3

#5687 - Monday 23 February 2009 6:26

i always wanted a blue haired granny.

By Bauer_fml | 0

#5689 - Monday 23 February 2009 6:43

FMLs are sadly going downhill....

By brodizzle | 0

#5704 - Monday 23 February 2009 7:22

"Your all pathetic for correcting the spelling" <-- made my day

Reply

ZombieSlaya115 | 17

#6661093 - Saturday 30 July 2016 5:47

You're*