By Anonymous - United States - Ridgefield
Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck, so I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML
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  lopsop  |  12

Well still if you just got back from the grocery store then you probably drove and if you drove you must've just got out of your car and unless you are in GTA you must use keys for your car and because of that you just had them and should know where they are.

  Marteeny23  |  19

I was always scared of Santa. I couldn't figure how he would get in the house without a chimney.... Until I put a motion detector mini Christmas tree near our tree and found my aunt putting the presents out......

  hama806  |  19

Just to clear this up. I actually did forcefully enter my apartment. I live in a city and do not keep car keys with my house keys. I found the melted ice cream after I broke in to my apartment.


Unfortunately, I have. I wish I hadn't.

And once more:
Edward Cullen is a gay fairy, who CLAIMS to be a vampire.
It was only said because the other person said that he was cold. Stephanie Meyer decided that her "vampires" should be walking ice cubes.
Can't explain it better than that.



No need to be a bitch.
People use gay as an insult all the time.
I respect you if you dislike the term, but I'd like to see you attack anyone on fml that has used gay as an insult.

  Shrike  |  22

I do and I have, you obviously don't read enough comments. But hey, here:

"Anyone who uses the word "gay" as an insult, grow the hell up, do you think girls have cooties too? You're fucking stupid."

There you go. And here's a protip: don't try to appeal to authority when things don't go your way - it makes you look insecure. Only post what you're 100% comfortable with staying in the public domain forever. Peace out, sis.


I do use it in public, and hadn't been chastised about it till now. I only ask mods to erase something when it's a waste of space, like this thread. Who wants to scroll through comments and have to pass through a Hideously stupid argument over nothing? Some of us don't use the app; some use their phones.

Also, the name calling is NOT fucking necessary. If you can't get your point across without insulting for no good reason, then just keep your bullshit to yourself.

  KaySL  |  24

SqueakyChipmunk, if space is being wasted here, it's only because you keep posting stupid shit that you've cleverly disguised as actual comments. How about you do some damage control by sitting in the corner and shutting the hell up?


*sigh* I'd say something else, but it doesn't matter because everybody's going to thumb me down because they can't see this conversation through both sides.

Excuse me while I find something alcoholic to drink.
*scurries to her tree*

  livehappy  |  8

65 - You said insulting isn't necessary to get a point across, and keep the bull shit to yourself. You used gay as an insult to get the point across that you don't like Twilight. Stop being a hypocrite, and when you're proven wrong, just accept it. No need to act like a five year old. Just grow the hell up and stop pointing fingers.

  mango260  |  9

65- this all started by you mentioning twilight, no one else brought it up and then you say how how you dislike it, why bring it up in the first place? You just threw it in there starting trouble on your own... But all I have to say no site is perfect :) we all choose to use this site and abide by the rules... There's alot of things that I don't like, of how this site is ran, but I just have to suck it up and keep it to myself because displaying them will not do any good; like you and twilight... What was the point in that? Well I hope you learned your lesson and conform, that's something you'll learn and NEED when using this site!


I feel as though the only real reason people are thumbing squeaky chipmunk down, is soley based on the fact that 'Twilight' was mentioned. Shit, I bet even this comment gets thumbed down for having that name said in it. ...fuck


1)The joke had nothing to do with the comment and didn't involve anything with the FML.
2) Seriously? Gay should never be used as an insult, especially since the original meaning is "Happy". That's why gay's are called gays.

  doglover569  |  0

No... No its not just flavored milk... If you freeze chocolate milk, you don't call it ice cream... So far you have made horrible comments on this whole FML. Just stop while you're ahead

  pokefan813  |  16

73 - I'm against what he said in the other thread but no one deserves to be talked down to like that. Lay off and let him comment. If he gets thumbed down, then just leave it at that. You don't have to tell him how terrible they are.