By Anonymous - 03/07/2012 19:56 - United States - Ridgefield

Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck, so I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 496
You deserved it 9 709

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I'm a little worried you could break in that easy o.O Broken window? Door smash? Falcon punch the wall? Santa entrance? So many possibilities!

Shit gets real when your ice cream melts... Ya feel me dawg?

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I have lost my keys for days once because I put them in a grocery bag. I try not to do that anymore.

Why were your keys in the grocery bag...?

Because she put them there. She probably didn't have any pockets.

Well still if you just got back from the grocery store then you probably drove and if you drove you must've just got out of your car and unless you are in GTA you must use keys for your car and because of that you just had them and should know where they are.

I lose my keys when they are in my hand. Takes half an hour to realize where they were.

33: Some people walk or take the bus you know...

44 I hate when that happens

45, thanks for your contribution to this stream of comments.

33. OP said house keys.. Some people don't have their house keys with their car keys. Just saying.

I stand by my choice of words, just so you know

Your choice of a word, not words, don't think you contributed too much.

I'm a little worried you could break in that easy o.O Broken window? Door smash? Falcon punch the wall? Santa entrance? So many possibilities!

It probably isn't that hard if there's a window open, or even just unlocked.

I used to be able to fit through the dog door at my aunts house. When I turned 17 I was to big but I could still unlock the door through the dog door.

#8 - That would be the reasonable option, but where's the fun in that? Personally I find the Santa way of getting in more extravagant.

I was always scared of Santa. I couldn't figure how he would get in the house without a chimney.... Until I put a motion detector mini Christmas tree near our tree and found my aunt putting the presents out......

Santa isn't real?! How did I just find this out. We are all gonna die. FML

Gosh, don't tell me. Did someone say Santa is not real??

MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED, THANKS 15!!!!!!!! >:(

Or she could just use a credit card and slide it between the lock and the door to get in. I had to do that once and it is a pain.

Idk but when you live in a house long enough you pretty much know if you can break in or if it's mission impossible.

That's why I keep a spare key hidden somewhere outside of my house.

I thought about that but I'm afraid someone will find it somehow and break in.

If they find the key outside why would they have to break in after that?

93 - I think she means "break in" as using the spare key to gain unwanted access into the house, not necessarily by using force.

Break in: to forcefully enter a building. She used it the wrong way. It doesn't matter if you understood what she meant or not.

Just to clear this up. I actually did forcefully enter my apartment. I live in a city and do not keep car keys with my house keys. I found the melted ice cream after I broke in to my apartment.

Shit gets real when your ice cream melts... Ya feel me dawg?

I feel ya man. You feel cold.

I hope he isn't a gay fairy that claims to be a vampire.

Ummm what the actual fuck?

Twilight ref. Vampires don't sparkle; fairies do. And twilight "vampires" are cold to the touch. And Twilight is gay. Hence the joke.

Your joke didnt make any fucking sense

35 sounds like you read the books

Unfortunately, I have. I wish I hadn't. And once more: Edward Cullen is a gay fairy, who CLAIMS to be a vampire. It was only said because the other person said that he was cold. Stephanie Meyer decided that her "vampires" should be walking ice cubes. Can't explain it better than that. Ah, fuck it--MODS, PLEASE ERASE THIS THREAD!

Wow, really? "Gay" as an ins-- you know what, forget it. You're an utterly stupid fuck.

No need to be a bitch. People use gay as an insult all the time. I respect you if you dislike the term, but I'd like to see you attack anyone on fml that has used gay as an insult.

I do and I have, you obviously don't read enough comments. But hey, here: "Anyone who uses the word "gay" as an insult, grow the hell up, do you think girls have cooties too? You're fucking stupid." There you go. And here's a protip: don't try to appeal to authority when things don't go your way - it makes you look insecure. Only post what you're 100% comfortable with staying in the public domain forever. Peace out, sis.

#60 - Just because people use it as an insult, it doesn't mean it's acceptable when you or any of them say it. Don't make 7-year-old excuses, dumbfuck.

I do use it in public, and hadn't been chastised about it till now. I only ask mods to erase something when it's a waste of space, like this thread. Who wants to scroll through comments and have to pass through a Hideously stupid argument over nothing? Some of us don't use the app; some use their phones. Also, the name calling is NOT fucking necessary. If you can't get your point across without insulting for no good reason, then just keep your bullshit to yourself.

SqueakyChipmunk, if space is being wasted here, it's only because you keep posting stupid shit that you've cleverly disguised as actual comments. How about you do some damage control by sitting in the corner and shutting the hell up?

35- I wasn't aware movies and books had a sexuality.

*sigh* I'd say something else, but it doesn't matter because everybody's going to thumb me down because they can't see this conversation through both sides. Excuse me while I find something alcoholic to drink. *scurries to her tree*

Omg... An argument under my comment. Joy ^_^

65 - You said insulting isn't necessary to get a point across, and keep the bull shit to yourself. You used gay as an insult to get the point across that you don't like Twilight. Stop being a hypocrite, and when you're proven wrong, just accept it. No need to act like a five year old. Just grow the hell up and stop pointing fingers.

65- this all started by you mentioning twilight, no one else brought it up and then you say how how you dislike it, why bring it up in the first place? You just threw it in there starting trouble on your own... But all I have to say no site is perfect :) we all choose to use this site and abide by the rules... There's alot of things that I don't like, of how this site is ran, but I just have to suck it up and keep it to myself because displaying them will not do any good; like you and twilight... What was the point in that? Well I hope you learned your lesson and conform, that's something you'll learn and NEED when using this site!

I find it sad that you'd drink over this. Lmao, Internet= serious business.

Looks like a large portion of female AND male FMLers are on the heaviest flow of their rag today.

That is soooo Emma and Julia! Anyone else remember those awesome commercials?

I feel as though the only real reason people are thumbing squeaky chipmunk down, is soley based on the fact that 'Twilight' was mentioned. Shit, I bet even this comment gets thumbed down for having that name said in it. ...fuck

65 - Wait name calling isn't necessary yet you call him a bitch not 1 reply earlier? I don't even... Someone explain please?

Why is everyone still talking about this? -_-;

114 - Because it was just that obnoxious and hypocritical.

1)The joke had nothing to do with the comment and didn't involve anything with the FML. 2) Seriously? Gay should never be used as an insult, especially since the original meaning is "Happy". That's why gay's are called gays.

At least you didn't have to haul ass in 115 degree weather.

That's why I always keep my keys in the same place/pocket ;) I can see how this happened though...maybe treat yourself to some icecream? :3

Ice cream that's not frozen is just flavored milk. Treat yourself to some flavored milk, op!

No... No its not just flavored milk... If you freeze chocolate milk, you don't call it ice cream... So far you have made horrible comments on this whole FML. Just stop while you're ahead

73 - I'm against what he said in the other thread but no one deserves to be talked down to like that. Lay off and let him comment. If he gets thumbed down, then just leave it at that. You don't have to tell him how terrible they are.

Yeah OP!^^ (Couldn't you just return it though? .3.; ) just go get yourself some icecreem and laugh it off later~ Smile~Smile~smile!

All I know is I keep my valuables in my zippy pocket. Three cheers for zippy pockets! Haha.

73- You just HAD to carry the argument over here, didn't you? :/.................

Why bitch about other threads when you have zippy pockets! Ya feel me dawg? Ah shit, sorry..haha.

Sorry I'm just sick of all of this on here... And the flavored milk comment sent me on edge!! My apologies

you didn't think to check the bags?

Am I the only one that keeps keys in their pocket

I attach mine to my purse.

I usually keep mine in my purse but they're on the end of a lanyard so they're easy to see in case I mindlessly put them somewhere else.

What flavor ice-cream?

Sexy rainbow flavor. Or pony-that-shits-rainbows-on-your-crotch flavor.