To be fair, if I were the dad, I wood want to make sure the guy isn't a prick.

At least she was trying be a lady.

He doesn't mean to be a thorn in your side, OP, he just cares.

Sometimes I dress myself as a rabbit and eat Trix in public, while screaming out "Fuck the police"

As if the splinters weren't enough. Now their dad is freaked out. That would be hard to explain.

how the heck do you get splinters in you knees if you're kneeling down

I have NO idea! I mean, it's not like anything on the park's ground is naturally made of wood and sharp (ahem, wood chips, ahem)!

Cause that response won't make the dad more suspicious. Besides, as much as the dad probably trusts her, he's still gonna worry cause that's what a parent does.

Sometimes, I glue fur to my body and climb on trees. When I see an unsuspecting passerby, I throw nuts at him and say "EAT MY SQUIRRELLY NUTS"

Was that necessary..?

Truth doesn't cure a father's fear that his daughter is getting banged. Sorry.

Honestly, it's going to sound like a lie to the father no matter what the truth is. Especially getting splinters from crossing your legs. It sounds like a really crappy lie.

And then the date would describe the wild sex that they had had in amazing detail to him.

I'm not sure why #4 is getting thumbed down so bad. That's what I would do. If that doesn't work , what else is there? If she tells the truth and he doesn't believe her or the date, then there is nothing else you can do to convice OP's father.

What

How fortunate. I've always wanted to converse with a koala. Tell me, what does eucalyptus taste like?

Viks Vapor rub.

maybe kids aid in their assumptions.

@8, That would be because we've already been your age before. So you're not really trying to pull a new trick on us. You're just putting a new name on an old dog. My oldest son did it; and now so are my nephews and nieces I'm helping to raise. Kids lie and parents are overprotective. One day if you have your own, especially a daughter, and one who's popular, you'll soon understand why. But if your parents truly ARE overdoing it: might I recommend sitting down calmly to express yourself.

Eh, I'd assume too, given how this new generation has been generally acting.

To be fair, the "getting a splinter from crossing your legs" thing sounds a lot less plausible than anything else. I'd just tell your dad the truth, OP. He doesn't have to believe it, but it's the truth. Parents are always going to worry and immediately assume worst-case scenario.

What if the dad then thinks she's only preforming oral just to remain that said "virgin"? I knew some girls that uses to do everything butt intercourse just to claim they still have their virginities.

Hehehe butt intercourse. Sorry. My inner 13 year old doesn't slip out very often, I'll make sure to ground her.

yeah, cuz God is going to help you with that.

What if he watched south park though? O.o