Work: Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my...

By Noname - United States

Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my job and was quitting on the spot. I tried to leave quickly but I slipped and fell on the marble floor right in front of everybody during my exit. FML

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23070

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Work

Proactive

Walk on the wild side

Simps gonna simp

By Anonymous

Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML

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35458

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By millie219 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

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31280

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By waaah - Australia

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36319

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By iJehx - United States

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

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10417

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By sadsongstress - Belgium

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

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61167

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By Carrie - 4/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Birmingham

Obsession by Calvin Klein

Today, I was at a party with my crush, but I didn’t talk to him. After, I walked out to my car, and saw a dent in my car. I then noticed that the dent was exactly the size of my crush’s head. FML

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509

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264

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me. In my opinion, the relationship was going so well and I really thought we loved each other. When I asked why, he told me he never loved me. He just wanted to get in my pants which after a year of refusing, he finally did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31751

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By Anonymous - 29/3/2020 23:00

Stuck in TV Hell

Today, I'm self isolating with a mother who hogs the remote but doesn't know how to use it, and is so short-sighted she can barely see the TV. Every five minutes, I hear, "What have I done now?", "How have I got onto this then?" and she won't let me help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1443

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By kahemae44 - United States

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

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36306

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By uwotm8 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

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17732

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By weswithaute - Australia

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

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46901

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By ashamed - 9/5/2020 02:00

Body issues

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me showering in the dark. When he asked why, I just told him it’s more relaxing for me. Truth is, after losing 120 lbs, I’m so disgusted by the look of my sagging skin that I can’t bear to see myself naked anymore. FML

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2250

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309

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By minette08 - United States

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

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24011

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By Anonymous - Netherlands - Dronten

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

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34239

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By Cam - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Long secret

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is still scared of his ex. It's been 8 months and our relationship is still "secret." Why? Because he's scared that she will find out and tell his family about us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2562

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

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27662

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By nicholascageonyourface - United States - Papillion

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62307

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By DoubledTrouble - United States - Washington

Today, my kids overheard me talking about cleaning the fuel system in our RV before we go to Disney World. They were so eager to get there, they decided they'd clean the fuel system themselves while I was at work, namely by pouring Tide into the gas tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15087

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By Harry - United States - Milledgeville

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

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47753

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By Josh - United States - Fenton

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

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36836

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By anon

Nightmare Fuel

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

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4522

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By socks - United States

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

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48718

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By birthdayfail

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

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42041

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By elizabethyeo - Australia

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

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10414

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

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45214

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By now what - 26/7/2020 05:01

Family extension

Today, I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen in about 5 years. She had her 4-year-old son with her. I couldn’t help but notice her son looked almost identical to mine. He even had a very distinct facial feature that my husband has as well. What are the odds all three of them have the same defect? FML

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2572

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By loser - United States

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

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367474

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By greg

Today, my mother sued me for whiplash in a car accident that was her fault. She screamed to stop so I slammed on the brakes and the car behind ran into us. It wasn't an emergency; she just thought she saw her friend at the bus stop. It wasn't even her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5400

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By StillDrowsy - United States

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33065

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By nybaby - United States

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

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34367

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By ugh.. - United States

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

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53285

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11117

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By heartsick - United States

Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML

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31894

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By Nurse

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

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2778

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By scaredofcutouts - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25880

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By apparentlyugly - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

I agree, your life sucks

54245

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By TordNorski - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, I started a new job at a family owned business. About ten minutes in to training, the mother and father started an argument that ended in each of them storming off, demanding a divorce. FML

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23713

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By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

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37783

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By Anonymous

Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2023

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By jdrew32 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

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47304

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Top comments

By raaaaaaachael | 0

#701702 - Thursday 3 December 2009 9:21

dude, marble floor? why quit?

By beauty_blogger | 0

#40719 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 20:16

Uhh...you quit your job in this economy? Deserved it. We all hate our jobs.

COMMENTS

By blinkingstarlet | 15

#18385 - Friday 6 March 2009 20:23

lmfao #3 i agree w/ #1. suuuuuueeeeeeee! unless u worked for a lawyer.... thennn double fml lol.

By beauty_blogger | 0

#40719 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 20:16

Uhh...you quit your job in this economy? Deserved it. We all hate our jobs.

By Lizzygirlleee | 0

#334325 - Tuesday 23 June 2009 22:39

hehe at least you left in style

By fuzzybrownbear | 0

#619193 - Tuesday 13 October 2009 13:12

Sue for money maybe?

shaubygal | 11

#2684605 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 6:46

yesssssssss do it sue their asses off

By raaaaaaachael | 0

#701702 - Thursday 3 December 2009 9:21

dude, marble floor? why quit?

By pingpongpickle | 8

#972522 - Thursday 1 April 2010 7:33

hahahahah. that's embarrassing.

By SouthSideGummi | 0

#1034503 - Friday 18 June 2010 4:55

lol!!!!!!!

By rends | 0

#1036168 - Saturday 19 June 2010 23:44

that sucks dude, I agree with everyone above me tho; sue their ass

By Aero_boy | 4

#1036311 - Sunday 20 June 2010 1:28

Are you that dude from YouTube that on his way out of McDonald's he tried to hit the windown with a chair, but then failed and fell?

By Randomlyscrm13 | 0

#1646243 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 22:47

Are freakin moronic... U deserved to fall flat on your behind... Good luck finding a new job in these bad times

akeller3298 | 1

#2709107 - Saturday 18 June 2011 16:45

how is it the OP's fault ? he didn't like his job , why stay with a job you don't like ? obviously the OP's thought about the failing economy before quitting . not everyones a dumbass .