Work: Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my...

By Noname - United States

Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my job and was quitting on the spot. I tried to leave quickly but I slipped and fell on the marble floor right in front of everybody during my exit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23076

You deserved it

6295

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Work

Dementia or hate? You decide

Tidy your room

Invasion

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Middlewich

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28340

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3203

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By msassy - United States - Lexington

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31376

You deserved it

6802

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By vela9002 - United States

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

I agree, your life sucks

70338

You deserved it

13516

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By daddy's girl - United States - Springfield

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45575

You deserved it

3093

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By Anonymous

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4178

You deserved it

3268

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By Anonymous - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21553

You deserved it

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By TragicallyAnxious

Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1377

You deserved it

600

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

I agree, your life sucks

83015

You deserved it

6173

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By KittenTime - United Kingdom

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40014

You deserved it

7497

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By Anonymous - 13/3/2021 21:30

Sorry for what?

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years said he wanted an open relationship. When I asked if it was because I wasn’t good enough to fulfill his needs, he got mad at me and now expects an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1066

You deserved it

122

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By Forever alone - United States - Lincoln

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26646

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12444

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17005

You deserved it

55120

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By Anonymous - 1/11/2020 11:01 - Slovakia - Senec

Whackjobs 'R Us

Today, I realised that 3/4 of my family are prone to believe conspiracies and are anti-Covid freaks. I want to keep our relationships, but every discussion ends in an argument about some conspiracy they believe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1012

You deserved it

147

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By legotron - United States

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42667

You deserved it

2541

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By Aether - United States - Lake Jackson

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39482

You deserved it

4739

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By TasedAndDazed - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13433

You deserved it

42839

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By RoxahTheGreat - United States

Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30338

You deserved it

4054

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By youknowwhatitis - Australia

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10706

You deserved it

35859

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By Ljsmitty - United States

Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46228

You deserved it

2880

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48268

You deserved it

3760

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By Si123 - 15/8/2020 08:01

Night terrors

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1148

You deserved it

215

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By Ash_The_Unicorn - 20/8/2020 14:05

Gentle

Today, after losing my father a little over 6 months ago, and finally feeling comfortable talking to my fiancé (who lives with me and my family) about it, my mother forced her way into the room and started yelling at me for crying. Her excuse, "It’s after your bedtime." I’m 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1689

You deserved it

420

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By CC - Sweden

Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20750

You deserved it

24891

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By sealy - United States

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31951

You deserved it

7839

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By rastamerican - United States - San Jose

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25720

You deserved it

1794

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By carless - United States

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40801

You deserved it

4216

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By Username - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31308

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2336

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By Luisa

Lunch Special

Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1982

You deserved it

220

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By pantyripper - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34258

You deserved it

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By cay - United States - Holley

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39212

You deserved it

3233

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25904

You deserved it

24525

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By HOe HOe HOe - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36943

You deserved it

16193

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By LoveMyNewBro

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49954

You deserved it

5887

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

186887

You deserved it

29795

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By stupid - Lithuania - Prienai

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52917

You deserved it

11771

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By foreveravirgin - United States - New Orleans

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30592

You deserved it

7259

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By Jenson - 17/11/2020 19:05 - United Kingdom

Size Queen

Today, I found out that being a good boyfriend who financially supports his girlfriend through university, has a good relationship with her family and even put myself at risk to care for her through a COVID infection, doesn’t matter because she prefers the guy she cheated with who has a bigger knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1691

You deserved it

127

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By CA19oo - United States

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9666

You deserved it

42414

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By Idi - France

Today, I arrived right on time for my train. Only problem, it was the wrong station. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20091

You deserved it

8426

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By BirthdayBoy - United States - Madison

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32902

You deserved it

3127

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Top comments

By raaaaaaachael | 0

#701702 - Thursday 3 December 2009 9:21

dude, marble floor? why quit?

By beauty_blogger | 0

#40719 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 20:16

Uhh...you quit your job in this economy? Deserved it. We all hate our jobs.

COMMENTS

By blinkingstarlet | 15

#18385 - Friday 6 March 2009 20:23

lmfao #3 i agree w/ #1. suuuuuueeeeeeee! unless u worked for a lawyer.... thennn double fml lol.

By beauty_blogger | 0

#40719 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 20:16

Uhh...you quit your job in this economy? Deserved it. We all hate our jobs.

By Lizzygirlleee | 0

#334325 - Tuesday 23 June 2009 22:39

hehe at least you left in style

By fuzzybrownbear | 0

#619193 - Tuesday 13 October 2009 13:12

Sue for money maybe?

shaubygal | 11

#2684605 - Wednesday 15 June 2011 6:46

yesssssssss do it sue their asses off

By raaaaaaachael | 0

#701702 - Thursday 3 December 2009 9:21

dude, marble floor? why quit?

By pingpongpickle | 8

#972522 - Thursday 1 April 2010 7:33

hahahahah. that's embarrassing.

By SouthSideGummi | 0

#1034503 - Friday 18 June 2010 4:55

lol!!!!!!!

By rends | 0

#1036168 - Saturday 19 June 2010 23:44

that sucks dude, I agree with everyone above me tho; sue their ass

By Aero_boy | 4

#1036311 - Sunday 20 June 2010 1:28

Are you that dude from YouTube that on his way out of McDonald's he tried to hit the windown with a chair, but then failed and fell?

By Randomlyscrm13 | 0

#1646243 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 22:47

Are freakin moronic... U deserved to fall flat on your behind... Good luck finding a new job in these bad times

akeller3298 | 1

#2709107 - Saturday 18 June 2011 16:45

how is it the OP's fault ? he didn't like his job , why stay with a job you don't like ? obviously the OP's thought about the failing economy before quitting . not everyones a dumbass .