By Spongebob Garypants - 26/05/2016 02:05 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 191
You deserved it 2 057

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Wouldn't expecting intelligence from slugs make YOU the idiot? Ooohh, plot twist.

A fellow attendee of the Winchester School of Pest Control, eh? It was the worst money I ever spent, but my house has been demon free…

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Get some home defense from your local hardware store and spray all along the outside of your house and yard.

Good god, no. I don't think OP is an eagle. (Do eagles eat slugs? I'm pitching a wild guess here)

Clearly you don't know what escargot is

Yeah, but dehydrated oversalted wild slugs aren't exactly as appetizing as fresh, farmed, buttered and cooked to plump perfection escargot.

Since escargot is snails, not slugs, I think perhaps you don't know.

There's a thing called variation, I've seen slugs prepared very similarly as well

Steffi3 40

Seems like your ward did exactly what it was supposed to do, though. It keeps the snails out because they die when they try to cross the salt. What else did you expect?

Just go to Home Depot and get Slug Defense, then put it around your house and by the doors and windows.

We don't have Home Depot in the UK though.

We do have B&Q over here though. They have a gardening section and I'm fairly certain they sell this kind of thing, if not, then B&M Bargains, which also has a gardening section.

A fellow attendee of the Winchester School of Pest Control, eh? It was the worst money I ever spent, but my house has been demon free…

Are you sure about that? Are you absolutely positive?

Did they ask you to post that comment? Are they trying to make me doubt my training? Because I am NOT calling those dudes back here and paying them to check for demons—I just can't take anymore of their romantic tension!

Maybe the demons WANT you to think your house is demon free

I actually thought this was leading to something to do with Supernatural. But nope. We got slugs. xD

Is their company car an Impala by any chance? (btw, this comment made my day xD)

I think this I'm my favorite comment on my favorite FML. :)

What in the world are you talking about?

Watching Supernatural right now!

Your name is fitting for this FML, or at least the last part i guess.

You won the battle but lost the war.

Wouldn't expecting intelligence from slugs make YOU the idiot? Ooohh, plot twist.

still a better plot twist than anything I could come up with

the slugs are mostly dead, so your problem is half solved now.

12 dead slugs? ew...

If 12 dead slugs is "ew", would 11 dead slugs be 'ew-1'?