Intimacy: Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running... - FML

By Noname - 15/03/2009 19:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 139

You deserved it 79 148

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Monday 16 March 2009 2:19

Wearing that shirt in public is just *asking* for a FML to happen. That's a total "you deserve that one", dude. Nice.

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Monday 16 March 2009 2:18

Oh man... that's why I could never get myself to actually wear shirts like that, out of fear for situations like that happening to me

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Monday 16 March 2009 2:13

LOL NICE

DarkPrince_fml 0

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Sunday 18 April 2010 19:06

good friends -no sarcasm-

violetrider123 3

Thursday 24 March 2011 18:09

why the hell you would wear that in public is beyond me

mstangchck 9

Saturday 26 November 2011 3:40

Aha epic!

Miller_Time 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:15

Great shirt.

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Monday 16 March 2009 2:18

Oh man... that's why I could never get myself to actually wear shirts like that, out of fear for situations like that happening to me

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Monday 16 March 2009 2:19

Wearing that shirt in public is just *asking* for a FML to happen. That's a total "you deserve that one", dude. Nice.

MiGman 5

Monday 21 June 2010 3:46

at least he was wearing all his clothes

fml123459 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:24

not gonna lie thats funny as hell. thats why you cannot wear those shirts man!

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Monday 16 March 2009 2:26

So, did the mom drop to her knees to blow you...or the dad?

alex_vik 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:26

So you don't look at what you wear?

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Monday 16 March 2009 2:30

never wear shirts like that in public. never.

lorenitavefajita 0

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Monday 16 March 2009 2:34

lmfaooo sucks! haha i would never wear that out in public

helen__fml 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:35

lmao...

Nearly

Today, I realized my addiction to this site is so bad that anytime anything shitty happens, I immediately start writing an FML post about it in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

Today, I realized that I am unconditionally, irrevocably, and deeply in love with someone who doesn't love me anymore. I'd give my life for him and he won't even message me back. Life really sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 27

Spicy

Spicy

Today, the older I get, the more I realise my mom has screwed up my ability to have sex. She used to beat me if she thought I was having impure thoughts, and though she died years ago, when I try to have sex with my girlfriend I hear mom's voice in my head and I go limp. I can’t even masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 28

Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 131