Today, I went fishing. Not only did I lose the fish, I lost the...

By Anonymous - 10/08/2019 06:00 - United States - New Rochelle

Today, I went fishing. Not only did I lose the fish, I lost the entire rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 373

Due date

Foolish

How could you forget?

By notnow - 27/09/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, minutes before I walked down the aisle at my wedding, my drunk mother stumbled up to me and told me she was depressed and wanted to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 259

You deserved it 2 590

By Broke as a joke - 04/05/2019 04:00

Today, I received the bill for my trip to the ER months ago. Almost $1000 for a quick 2.5 hour stay, only to find out that I had bad gas from drinking far too much of the seltzer I had bought on sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 934

By Anonymous - 06/04/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 066

You deserved it 5 972

By latenightbite - 16/03/2010 23:17 - United States

Today, I found out why my roommate and best friend comes home late three nights a week. She goes to get drunk with some guy, then goes back to his house to hook up. Who is this guy? The guy I've been dating for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 092

You deserved it 3 078

Projectile

By Mr.Incognito-san - 03/04/2021 17:00

Today, my sisters were fighting, again. Unfortunately, one of them has the tendency to pick up the closest object and throw it at the other one. Unfortunately, I was the closest object, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 91

By oakley - 07/01/2017 09:15

Today, I went to start my new job, only to find out that the guy who hired me had no permission to do so. I had to fill out another application, and complete another interview and I still might not get the damn job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 421

You deserved it 750

Losing

By unemployed and bereaved - 25/11/2013 05:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I'm just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 574

You deserved it 2 815

By Hayleey_079 - 18/02/2010 14:22 - United Kingdom

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 977

You deserved it 3 743

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 821

You deserved it 3 100

By bym - 13/10/2008 08:23

Today, I got braces fitted. For the next two years, I'll be the most handsome guy on earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 601

You deserved it 24 465

By eliteslayer29 - 21/12/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 450

You deserved it 42 821

By anonymous - 02/04/2016 04:11 - United States - Westminster

Today, my sister still refuses to pay back all the money she owes me because she once bought me something from the dollar menu at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 917

You deserved it 1 682

Classic

By Daniel - 09/08/2021 16:01

Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 74

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 02:12 - Canada

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 924

You deserved it 17 577

By Rants - 01/05/2019 16:00

Today, we've had some auditors with us and I chat with some of them during the day. It's Friday so I asked one of them until what time they were working. It was late and I loudly exclaimed, "That's so late! Your bosses have no hearts!" The auditor then points to their table where the boss is sitting. Glaring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 729

By lollipopp56 - 26/03/2009 06:09 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 056

You deserved it 13 765

By Average Lover - 27/10/2018 03:00

Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 629

You deserved it 703

By Me - 20/12/2016 01:40 - United States - Canyon Lake

Today, while reading out loud in front of my entire class and teacher, I learned that I can't pronounce the word 'success'. It came out as 'sex', and when I tried to correct myself more slowly (multiple times), it came out 'sexsex'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 882

You deserved it 1 189

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 14:57 - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 603

You deserved it 39 763

By foreveravirgin - 15/08/2012 19:07 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 623

You deserved it 7 265

By AnnaNick - 14/02/2010 02:19 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 910

You deserved it 10 326

By couturier - 02/01/2010 07:08 - France

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 934

You deserved it 36 123

By browngirl - 29/09/2013 04:16 - Canada - Vernon

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 796

You deserved it 4 940

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 04:10 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 433

You deserved it 3 967

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 754

You deserved it 3 170

By Anonymous - 27/03/2011 18:41 - United States

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 732

You deserved it 56 290

By imfromtexas02 - 06/06/2009 14:03 - United States

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 380

You deserved it 12 600

By Anonymous - 23/09/2011 17:46 - United States

Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 901

You deserved it 4 350

By GnarCarBar - 12/09/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 730

You deserved it 4 644

By Unteachable - 08/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, as a high school English teacher, I had to read submissions for a writing contest. The entries were filled with words like "irregardless", "could of", "acrost", and "ain't". These papers were supposedly written by the best students in the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 216

You deserved it 780

By Anonymous - 09/09/2015 21:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 243

You deserved it 24 620

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 784

You deserved it 3 253

By hairstylistprobs - 23/06/2015 03:13 - United States

Today, I attended my best friend's wedding. Instead of throwing her bouquet, she turned around and handed it to me. I was the only single lady out of 150 guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 300

You deserved it 2 631

By Username - 10/10/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 618

You deserved it 2 585

By lonestar - 03/02/2010 13:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 099

You deserved it 5 681

By Anonymous - 20/06/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 891

You deserved it 4 364

By wtf1234 - 03/05/2011 01:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 805

You deserved it 4 376

Work together!

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 05:01 - Germany - Norden

Today, our cats got in a serious fight about the rights to some prime mousing territory. The territory in question? Our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 102

By samgonzalessb - 14/12/2009 17:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 286

You deserved it 3 816

By Brasilian29 - 11/12/2014 12:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 691

You deserved it 3 363

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Top comments

Seeya55 31

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Saturday 10 August 2019 14:21

In soviet Russia, Fish catch YOU!

Henry8cooper 15

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Saturday 10 August 2019 13:18

Picking your fights carefully is an art. Next time you should try to catch something you can handle - like fish'n'chips

Comments

Henry8cooper 15

Send a private message

Saturday 10 August 2019 13:18

Picking your fights carefully is an art. Next time you should try to catch something you can handle - like fish'n'chips

Seeya55 31

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Saturday 10 August 2019 14:21

In soviet Russia, Fish catch YOU!

jbuckets_404 38

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Saturday 10 August 2019 23:28

Been there, done that! Of course, it was a 30-yo reel/ rod set that I happily replaced with brand-new. :D

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Sunday 11 August 2019 1:48

Yeah, I lost my rod when I went fishing, too. It's not arousing at all.

alycion 38

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Sunday 11 August 2019 9:28

What did you hook? I know someone who lost their rod to a grouper. Guess our really didn’t want to be dinner that night.

themetropolitan 18

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Tuesday 13 August 2019 0:43

That poor fish is gonna slowly die with a hook stuck in his mouth :.(

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 16

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 1 085

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 1 237