Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into...

By streaker? - Germany - Langenhagen

Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24114

You deserved it

2006

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Proactive

And today, on Dr Phil…

Relationships sink

By Apissedoffguy - United States - Brockton

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32967

You deserved it

2432

Favorite

By PntsLessWonder - United States

Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10161

You deserved it

39906

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26439

You deserved it

64183

Favorite

By blah blah

Today, I tried convincing my husband to spend his day off work with me because we both work a lot, and have almost no time to spend together. His literal response was, “I’d rather pick a shift up at work.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

2372

You deserved it

245

Favorite

By Shamdog48 - United States

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34735

You deserved it

3715

Favorite

By PizzaBoySwag - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13270

You deserved it

125502

Favorite

By Anonymous

Hair of the dog

Today, I spent 15 minutes scrubbing the bathtub, just to have my roommate come home and give their dog a bath in it. They didn't even rinse it or pull the hair out. I don't know what makes it more annoying, that I'm 6 months pregnant and do all the cleaning while working full-time, or that we have a hose outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1425

You deserved it

179

Favorite

By malnourishedstudent - United States - Palm Coast

Today, after months of living on five dollars a day for food in college, I found out my parents bought me an expensive meal plan and forgot to mention it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16403

You deserved it

1473

Favorite

By tee - United States - Kansas City

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29213

You deserved it

1943

Favorite

By Electronotfriend - Poland

Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57142

You deserved it

4660

Favorite

By PineapplePizza - United States - Irwin

Today, I should be starting my last year of college next week. But no. My old advisor messed up my schedule so badly that there's no way I'll graduate for another year. So I'll be in school five years for a four year program because as a freshman I thought my advisor was helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13740

You deserved it

1357

Favorite

By firefliiez - United States

Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9150

You deserved it

42730

Favorite

By Becca Velveeta

Easy mistake to make

Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2867

You deserved it

170

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Brighton

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26116

You deserved it

2225

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64339

You deserved it

4022

Favorite

By Notyourstepmom - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59316

You deserved it

4446

Favorite

By teflon_hammer - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks

11803

You deserved it

1175

Favorite

By Mike - United States

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22560

You deserved it

5209

Favorite

By Curles - Norway

Today, I found out the room I've been sleeping in has black fungus growing on the wall behind the bed. So, that's why I cough until it feels like my lungs are coming out in the morning. Mystery solved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1729

You deserved it

110

Favorite

By That_Indian_Guy - United States - Oviedo

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33826

You deserved it

9402

Favorite

By nosleep - Canada - Calgary

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34961

You deserved it

3220

Favorite

By hamandegger - United States - Raynham

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76116

You deserved it

4481

Favorite

By michellenKG - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30067

You deserved it

2608

Favorite

By couch_potato

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44740

You deserved it

24693

Favorite

By pancaketits - United States - Havertown

Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because "women can't have a huge ass and pancake tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks

21228

You deserved it

1639

Favorite

By avocadotoe - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9121

You deserved it

3026

Favorite

By dharp7 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34976

You deserved it

3739

Favorite

By Infected - United States

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51834

You deserved it

19845

Favorite

By Anon - United States - Middletown

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47468

You deserved it

5201

Favorite

By moo...

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45386

You deserved it

13156

Favorite

By Playaaa - United States - Hollister

Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15367

You deserved it

28439

Favorite

By published_anthropologist - United States

Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50964

You deserved it

10137

Favorite

By oface13 - United States

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54082

You deserved it

5910

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter. After I cleaned up her spill and remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked directly past the tip jar, and left the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49132

You deserved it

3468

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59016

You deserved it

8796

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7373

You deserved it

66230

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 23:01

Alternative medicine is bull

Today, when my neighbor came over to ask about a serious rash her child had, she totally passed by me, the EMT/firefighter, to ask the hippy pastry chef what she thought of it, and if she had oils to "cure" it. So much for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

967

You deserved it

109

Favorite

By LoveMeMother

Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2502

You deserved it

316

Favorite

By Alyce - 10/10/2020 17:01 - United States - Lewistown

Surrounded

Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

814

You deserved it

366

Favorite

By alycion

Today, I took my father to a hockey game. He always has to get pictures with the girls, so while in bag check, he used his breath spray. He got me in the eye, and I was temporarily blinded through most of the first period. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1609

You deserved it

131

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By OptimusSlime | 23

#6472124 - Saturday 28 November 2015 0:08

Oh my god, a human body! AH the horror of nature and looking at a completely normal person! And God forbid, boobs, that thing that looks exactly the same on pretty much every women.

By WittyMoron | 22

#6472116 - Saturday 28 November 2015 0:05

Yay for random bitches!

COMMENTS

By WittyMoron | 22

#6472116 - Saturday 28 November 2015 0:05

Yay for random bitches!

By GreyJedi | 10

#6472117 - Saturday 28 November 2015 0:05

Don't lie. You opened the door. We all saw it. Bad OP.

By SynysterKilljoy | 10

#6472119 - Saturday 28 November 2015 0:07

You should've done a little dance for her and end it with the middle finger ;)

Seabass_Chan | 33

#6472338 - Saturday 28 November 2015 7:38

I think I saw a GIF of that on Tumblr.

By OptimusSlime | 23

#6472124 - Saturday 28 November 2015 0:08

Oh my god, a human body! AH the horror of nature and looking at a completely normal person! And God forbid, boobs, that thing that looks exactly the same on pretty much every women.

ChopSuey444 | 20

#6472226 - Saturday 28 November 2015 2:59

Especially in a room designated for taking off clothes...

meli1195 | 31

#6472439 - Saturday 28 November 2015 11:24

although fitting rooms are for changing and whatnot, I don't appreciate the women who intentionally walk around the fitting room in their underwear. especially when it's just their underwear and no bra.

be82tw | 17

#6472465 - Saturday 28 November 2015 12:39

@4, if you think boobs look exactly the same on every woman, then I would respectfully submit that you have not seen enough boobs.

Biker187 | 12

#6472578 - Saturday 28 November 2015 16:11

They may have everything but in no way does it look the same. Some just look outstanding & are more appealing than others.
Either way they could have seen more at the local Y

pickle682 | 17

#6472784 - Saturday 28 November 2015 22:12

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being angry that another adult has exposed themselves to your kids... How are people not getting that??? The woman didn't know it was an accident

lynnlady | 6

#6472876 - Sunday 29 November 2015 0:57

Seriously? As a mother, when you see the child, you know damn well what happened. She clearly just has a stick up her ass.

Doritozilla | 20

#6473531 - Sunday 29 November 2015 19:54

Oh no a boobies

nykeldorgirl | 7

#6688004 - Monday 12 September 2016 7:04

I agree with your message but disagree with the wording if there is one thing that can look so opposite on so many people but still be the same thing it is boobs.

By Liamj774 | 36

#6472126 - Saturday 28 November 2015 0:09

Yeah, how dare you totally and intentionally expose yourself to the poor woman OP

By tigerisabelle | 31

#6472127 - Saturday 28 November 2015 0:09

Yes because if you're a pedophile you're obviously going to hide in a changing room and wait until somebody else opens the door, hoping there will be small children outside. That's exactly how pedophiles work. I should know