Transportation: Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed....

By LOLOLOLOL - 20/08/2012 08:55 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed. I then turned into another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 393

You deserved it 37 634

Transportation

Dementia or hate? You decide

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Delayed

Fair analysis

By Avnirvana - 07/10/2020 23:01 - United States

Today, I seriously considered writing in SCP-106 for president. I hate both candidates so much, I would willingly take President Radical Larry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 724

By 3peeps - 30/12/2011 07:13 - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 366

You deserved it 3 913

No balls activity

By Anonymous - 16/12/2019 12:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my right testicle popped out during gym class while we were running laps. The teacher saw it and said, “Put that thing away! There aren’t any balls involved in this activity!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 672

You deserved it 632

By Lea - 16/03/2010 13:31 - United States

Today, I dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft at my dorm. I had parked my car at a parking meter, and now had no way to get change out of my car. It took six hours for someone to get my keys, and I now have a $75 parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 378

You deserved it 4 867

By Anonymous - 22/02/2017 20:00 - Canada - Westerose

Today, our family cat died. I had to explain this to my 2 small children, who had no experience with death. I ended up bawling like a baby while they consoled me, telling me she had, "gone to a better place". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 017

You deserved it 1 161

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 17:04 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out the first person I was able to open up to in nearly ten years is already in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 113

By Smitty Werbenjeagermanjensen - 27/10/2016 03:19 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 564

You deserved it 2 627

Preventive measures

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 23:03

Today, a year after I moved out with no contact since, my former housemates texted me out of the blue to tell me I'm not invited to their wedding. Seems she thought I'd just turn up and "embarrass" myself. I never indicated that I intended or even wanted to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 483

You deserved it 228

By Username - 20/08/2011 00:22 - United States

Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 545

You deserved it 11 997

By CallmeEddie - 14/11/2013 16:44 - United States - Joliet

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 825

You deserved it 4 893

By hrmpf - 19/01/2016 14:37 - Germany - Bremen

Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 933

You deserved it 2 938

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 05:58 - United States

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 175

You deserved it 44 311

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 178

Baked

By Anonymous - 07/06/2020 05:05

Today, I was supposed to have my first job interview for a bakery franchise. Turns out all the applications are submitted to every store, and I was called to the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 102

By kierstin - 19/10/2009 15:54 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 409

You deserved it 6 839

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 576

You deserved it 4 315

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 084

You deserved it 7 230

By Kelly - 02/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 951

You deserved it 9 432

And you like him why exactly?

By Anonymous - 29/10/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, the guy I like happened to be munching on biscuits while he was talking to me. The biscuit crumbs were literally falling out of his mouth like a waterfall as he was speaking and munching. The crumbs were landing in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 251

By Oja1 - 16/12/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 473

You deserved it 27 540

By Hairytoes - 07/10/2011 10:35 - United States

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 677

You deserved it 17 432

By MoxyR12 - 24/06/2009 15:33 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 596

You deserved it 5 669

By elena02 - 21/11/2015 19:45 - United States - Wayne

Today, my house is so cold that I chipped a tooth from chattering so hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 371

You deserved it 2 930

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 565

You deserved it 8 406

By Anonymous - 01/09/2018 18:30

Today, I spent $50 buying flea bombs so not only my dogs, but my son could relax a little in my home instead of fighting off those tiny little circus bastards. Today, I got in my car and the fleas attacked me mercilessly until I got to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 590

You deserved it 402

Insane parents, part 38765

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 09:32 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, my mum vented her anger on me by shattering my mouse on the floor, taking my keyboard and nearly ripping out my monitor. At least a spare mouse and the on screen keyboard are better than nothing. This hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 100

By far23 - 15/07/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 617

You deserved it 53 773

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 259

You deserved it 1 164

Social media is dangerous

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 12:50 - United States - Ontario

Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 775

You deserved it 2 612

By FootyFoot - 06/03/2012 11:50 - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 374

You deserved it 3 208

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 614

You deserved it 45 935

By suckishbf - 28/04/2011 02:41 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 814

You deserved it 6 737

By FellingShitty - 05/10/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 424

You deserved it 6 404

By elrjay - 20/06/2017 02:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I'm laying in my holiday apartment with the patio doors open, listening to the german man next door take dirty pics of his wife on the balcony. I'm too scared to get up and shut the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 949

You deserved it 1 026

By DoubledTrouble - 21/07/2016 11:58 - United States - Washington

Today, my kids overheard me talking about cleaning the fuel system in our RV before we go to Disney World. They were so eager to get there, they decided they'd clean the fuel system themselves while I was at work, namely by pouring Tide into the gas tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 129

You deserved it 1 279

By missalexa - 03/08/2010 18:13 - United States

Today, upon getting out of the shower, I discovered the towel I grabbed off the rack had dried poop on it. Apparently, during my sister's birthday party yesterday, we'd run out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 469

You deserved it 4 041

You wouldn't let it lie

By Anonymous - 08/12/2021 07:59 - United States - Verona

Today, I couldn't have a conversation with my mother without it turning into yet another rehash of 20 years of bad family history, like a broken record. An hour later and I just want to jump out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 18:31 - United States

Today, I spent almost $200 on a planetarium show with my boyfriend, who loves astronomy. He said his favorite thing about it was that he could pick his nose without anyone noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 336

You deserved it 3 765

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 13:38 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 056

You deserved it 6 354

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Top comments

Megs431 6

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:13

Karma's a bitch ;)

Klefhomacked 11

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:15

This made me think you physically turned into a car. You know, like a Transformer...

Megs431 6

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:13

Karma's a bitch ;)

NeDaroft 5

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:07

Just make sure that bitch is beautiful

gc327072 30

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:36

And my man Luck be hittin' that.

ScaughtieHolden 11

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:43

Transformers! Robots in disguise! Anyone else? "Turned into another car."

Inheritance 10

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:44

Whats ironic is even though this 'idiot' made a bad u-turn I bet he didn't get in an accident.

dashizam 10

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Monday 20 August 2012 18:25

Only if you are. :)

innavoiG 9

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Monday 20 August 2012 18:38

55- That'd be a pretty boring Transformer, only switching between two cars.

SooperSuper 2

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Monday 20 August 2012 18:55

And then you die.

MDTeddy 13

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Monday 20 August 2012 19:54

That isn't karma. Someone just needs to watch the road.

ant1ion 12

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Monday 20 August 2012 21:22

73- what's your definition of karma?

starflyer59 17

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Monday 20 August 2012 21:34

I don't think OP is in any position to call someone an idiot.

Codezlol 21

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Monday 20 August 2012 23:19

Damn rubbernecker! Watch the road!

videophone 0

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Tuesday 21 August 2012 10:21

What did you learn today champ? Don't fuck with karma, because karma will fuck you 10 times harder!

PeachesnCream88 0

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Wednesday 22 August 2012 19:30

Karma my friend

JoshTheMaggot 8

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:13

And you're coming here for sympathy why? You clearly deserved it.

redpickle 1

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:24

At least he has a funny username!

Zomg_Okay 26

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:30

12 - You spelled "annoying" wrong.

FMLKitten 15

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:39

17- 12 was clearly making a pun. Nevertheless, your still right, it is quite obnoxious.

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:51

*you're

lysx84 24

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:13

What a fanny.

SierraaaNicoleee 26

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:32

What does that even mean?

SqueakyChipmunk 20

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:36

No one knows what it means, but its provocative.

FMLKitten 15

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:37

It gets them people goin'!

lans4 1

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:51

Ball so hard....

SqueakyChipmunk 20

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:59

That shit cray... Ain't it Jay?

Brool_Story_Co 17

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:01

Ball so hard... What she order?

SqueakyChipmunk 20

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:11

Fish fillet? B-ball so hard... (keep going guys! This is epic!)

Syneriam 7

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:32

Your whips so cold, thid old thing

Brool_Story_Co 17

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:40

Act like you'll never be around mothafuckas like this again.

SkoomaKi 27

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:54

#4 - Did you just say "what a vagina"?

Psych101 9

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:58

57- Fanny means vagina in England, right?

SkoomaKi 27

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Monday 20 August 2012 18:02

In "Britain", yes.

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

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Monday 20 August 2012 18:26

Bougie girl, grab her hand Fuck that bitch she don't wanna dance... Too late? :/

FMLKitten 15

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Monday 20 August 2012 18:44

(66- Nope!) Excuse my French, but I'm in France.

SqueakyChipmunk 20

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Monday 20 August 2012 21:33

Haha, I'm just sayin'!

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

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Tuesday 21 August 2012 2:05

Prince William ain't do it right if you ask me. If I was him I would have married Kate and Ashley.

FtP_Benihana 0

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Tuesday 21 August 2012 2:18

What's Gucci my nigga? What's Louis my killa?

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

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Tuesday 21 August 2012 2:34

What's Gucci my nigga? What's Louie my killa?

courtz94 24

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:14

Gotta love karma! Maybe next time you shouldn't laugh at others before you yourself is in the clearing.

courtz94 24

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:16

I meant are not is! I feel dumb for not noticing that before!

AwsumShyGuy 12

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Monday 20 August 2012 17:00

I think it makes more sense with is.

Dblocker 18

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:14

I wish I can give two YDIs, one for for FML and one for the name.

Mioko_fml 6

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:42

Just make another account if you must. OP, as funny as it get, you should keep your eyes on where you're going, not what others are doing.

ButteredRetoast 4

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Monday 20 August 2012 21:44

Just reload the page

SwagPuppet 3

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:15

YDI!! Next time pay attention to YOUR driving! Not others.

bjf10 22

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Monday 20 August 2012 20:05

You certainly need to pay attention to other people's driving, there are many dangerous idiots on the road, like the OP. ;-)

Klefhomacked 11

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:15

This made me think you physically turned into a car. You know, like a Transformer...

kittytub 12

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:18

autobots, roll out!

FMLKitten 15

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:43

"Today, I watched an idiot make a bad u-turn and laughed. I then realized I was a renowned autobot. FML"

robert76 5

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Monday 20 August 2012 19:19

This was exactly what I came to the comments to say.

maverick1752 16

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Tuesday 21 August 2012 5:15

I was about to say the same thing

Bullpine 11

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:22

Why would you assume they're an idiot? They could have been a new driver or something.

Klefhomacked 11

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:27

Can a new driver not also be an idiot?

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:24

I wish I could click YDI a million times. Keep your eyes on the road, Einstein.

torbey 23

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Monday 20 August 2012 16:28

At least you got a laugh out of it :)

FMLKitten 15

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Monday 20 August 2012 21:37

You have one very positive outlook on life... Oh how I envy you.

Nearly

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 3

Today, my girlfriend called off our plans to get married, all because I didn't “make enough time” while I was busy renovating the house for her parents to come over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 312

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 673

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