By Anonymous - 28/08/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco
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Well, I'd say let her do the dishes from now on. That's one less chore you have to worry about.
I wish that were true #22. I have OCD and someone washing the dishes will set me off. I will rewash, dry, and put them away. If someone else does that it will set me into a panic. People who don't have OCD don't understand what it does to a person that has it. Shit it takes me 20 minutes to get into the house and lock my house up because of the things I have to do just to check 2 doors and make sure those doors are locked and the doorknob isn't loose or messed up. It is exhausting and draining especially if you just want to go to bed and you can't.
I'm not sure you can complain. You had to have known about her OCD when you married her.
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#44 they can control how they act towards other people. If you want it a certain way? Fine. But her husband did nothing wrong and shouldn't be screamed at for doing dishes. It's HER problem, she has to get her reactions under control. It's not fair to scream at someone because of how they organize their dishes in their house. And if she can't control her words and actions, then she needs therapy.
As someone just said, do a bit of research on OCD before condemning someone. I don't suffer from OCD, but I have a friend who does, and she says it's akin to having a panic attack when it flares up. Her brain will not let her ignore it, and she has a very difficult time thinking clearly/rationally until she goes through her routine or fixes whatever it was that set it off. Also, there's a difference between the casual use of the term OCD meaning you like things a certain way, and the actual mental illness of OCD.
I feel like you kind of deserve this one. You must have been aware of your wife's OCD tendencies, and if you cared about your wife's OCD you would have at least tried to oblige. OCD is not fun, the person with it knows how they handle the situation is not normal, but it eats away at them until they explode in a burst of rage. Say you're sorry and that you'll never do it again... And that you love her.
It's not fair to call me stupid, I've been clinically diagnosed with a specific form of OCD, so while I see his side of things, I also see her side. OCD is embarrassing to deal with because you're fully aware that rationally you're making a big deal over something most people wouldn't think twice about. The husband would have known about her OCD and while I think it's a little unfair that she got upset over something the husband probably didn't realize was a huge deal (it sounds like it's the first time with the dishes), the reason I suggested he say sorry was so that he could acknowledge what was going on instead of treating her like she's crazy. I was suggesting to show some compassion and empathy to her. Maybe I worded that wrong the first time, but it's no reason to call me stupid.
I don't understand why everyone is downvoting you. Do you guys not realize OCD is named compulsive for a reason? Also, how on earth can someone be MARRIED and not know how the dishes go in the cupboard? It means he has either never put away/taken out a dish ever during their relationship, or he doesn't give an F about her feelings. Neither of which are acceptable. So yes, he deserved it.
#49, where does it say in the fml that OP treated her like she was crazy? Yes, it's compulsive, but you still don't yell at people when they didn't do anything wrong. If I saw dishes neatly lined up and whatnot, I would just assume the person who put them away is neat and tidy. SORRY if OP's supposed to automatically know it's her tick. See how stupid it sounds for you to expect him to know, especially since it's an inconspicuous thing.
I would hope OP knew of the "tick" since it was his wife. If my husband didn't know my OCD ticks I would be a little more concerned with the inattentive husband. Should she have yelled? No. Was it possibly out of her control? Yes. I've had episodes and couldn't control my break down.
If she wants it her way, let her do the dishes! I'm sure you can take up some other chore to keep balance. :)
I'm sorry to hear that... I have OCD as well and although something like that is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE, sometimes I have to fight myself to not say anything over something stupid just like that ( my brain sees it as important but I know the rest of the world sees it as unimportant). I try to just wait although it IS hard to wait more than a few minutes just FYI) until my husband leaves the room and adjust things to my liking and tell myself that I am graceful that he did the dishes and I only need to move them around! Ps also on a serious note... Bupropion (a mild prescription) is a HUGE help. I NEVER thought I'd take anything for something like that but it just helps calm the spinning brain and helps me let things go easier... And FYI I don't have it bad but I feel it's a huge help to enjoying life and stressing less (less, not none) over flowers that don't line up LOL!!! Good luck and keep in mind it IS real to her... That helps :)
Just to let everyone know, You don't have OCD. You have OCD when your doctor announces that you do. Actual OCD is far off from what people of the internet talk about. The closest thing you have to an actual "disorder" is OCPD. And OCPD is also far from what you are feeling. You just like things organized a certain way. Do your research internet and lets have a moment to think about the people that actually have OCD.
#24. as someone with OCD who has been clinically diagnosed I must say that there are many different types of OCD and people with OCD have many different kinds of cumpulsions. #6 to me does sound like she has OCD and she is correct when she says that it is very real to the person with it. OCD is very embarrassing to some people with it especially when people don't believe that they actually have it. So please try not to be so harsh about it
24 I have medically diagnosed OCD and I have very few compulsions. I'm all obsessions and anxiety. It does really bother me when people are like "hurr I tidied my book case alphabetically, I'm so OCD". It's insulting to real people's suffering. As far as OP, it's hard to know if his wife really does suffer or not. If she does, he would have known and should have made the effort to avoid putting her through that. But there's every possibility she's just a pedantic bitch.