Animals: Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has...

By ugh Buck! - 11/09/2013 16:57 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 973

You deserved it 4 421

Animals

Compromises

Broken heart

Our house, in the middle of our street

By baby shak - 14/01/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 703

You deserved it 6 261

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand, hooked up with me and told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted to be with me... until he sobered up and his girlfriend got back to town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 542

You deserved it 8 165

By disturbedtosaytheleast - 27/01/2012 11:19 - Canada

Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 941

You deserved it 2 658

By Mad - 27/06/2011 01:14 - Australia

Today, after a weekend of helping my sister-in-law move out of our house, vacuuming and mopping her bedroom and bathroom for her, scrubbing her walls and cleaning her shower, transporting her furniture and getting her carpet professionally cleaned, to cover costs she offered me $14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 577

You deserved it 5 261

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 373

You deserved it 12 009

Stalker vibes

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 14:01

Today, a woman who has a history of being horrible came into my work. I had to help her, so I was determined to be so nice that she couldn't possibly complain about me, like she has about several co-workers before. Apparently, I was too nice. Now she loves me and wants me to help her every time she comes in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 336

By name50 - 07/02/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 595

You deserved it 73 922

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 079

You deserved it 2 828

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 064

You deserved it 6 475

By Anonymous - 15/12/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 468

You deserved it 4 851

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 1 082

By KMilly - 01/05/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I rolled down the windows in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 386

You deserved it 62 445

By all shat out - 07/11/2014 06:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 507

You deserved it 4 192

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 186

You deserved it 4 761

First Dates

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 23:06 - United States - Hesperia

Today, a guy took me on a date to McDonald’s. I smiled, but told him politely that I don’t eat fast food. He called me a stuck-up snob and a high maintenance gold digger who didn’t deserve him. I’m neither. I have IBS and greasy food sets me off. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 129

By athlete47 - 03/08/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 125

Keep your enemies closer

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 19:58 - Canada - Markham

Today, the night before an exam, I found out my boyfriend of one and a half years was cheating on me with a girl who has the same name as me. Not only that, I ended up consoling her for hours as she cried over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 180

By clostar - 19/01/2016 20:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had sex with a guy I met at a party and passed out in his bed. When I woke up at 3 am, he sat up and said, "You're still here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 378

You deserved it 9 834

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 05:24 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 770

You deserved it 8 376

By sisi9999 - 25/07/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 933

You deserved it 3 566

Crowded House

By crowded - 20/05/2020 23:00

Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to his parents' house for the weekend. He didn’t tell me until after we’d arrived that all his siblings and their SO's would also be coming. His parents live in a 2 bedroom, one bath house. So far there are 16 people here and he’s refusing to drive me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 09/08/2016 15:43 - United States - Pembroke

Today, my grandfather gave me a whole box of records to go with my new record player. When I thanked him, he said he'd been needing to get rid of them anyway because classical music makes him horny. I definitely didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 862

You deserved it 1 115

By Deety - 18/01/2017 08:11

Today, my psychologist broke up with me, professionally. It's alright though, she told me it's her, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 061

You deserved it 785

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 15:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 028

You deserved it 3 154

Bad hair day

By Hairdresser On Fire - 01/10/2019 18:05 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I mistook a little girl for a boy. Unfortunately, I only realised my mistake until after I'd cut her hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 1 774

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 660

You deserved it 1 324

Foot in mouth

By oopsjsp90 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh… That's actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 383

You deserved it 8 657

Thanks buddy

By jackmehoffa - 03/04/2012 18:10 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 701

You deserved it 5 839

By accidentalnorman - 07/12/2015 10:11

Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 202

You deserved it 30 920

It's the new thing!

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 06:02

Today, I fell asleep while at an outside birthday party in the sun for a five-year-old. That five-year-old put an animal cracker on my forehead. I now have a rhino-shaped tan line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 981

By ERnightmare - 02/08/2018 21:00 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 054

You deserved it 4 098

By anonymous - 19/07/2012 23:56 - United States - La Verne

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 774

You deserved it 41 577

By Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 323

You deserved it 3 323

By SwedishBozo - 15/03/2009 01:30 - United States

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 835

You deserved it 325 998

By Zxz - 08/04/2013 21:51 - Canada

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 180

You deserved it 6 243

By Anonymous - 04/09/2015 21:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss called me to say that I've been slow at work this week and that I will be replaced if I don't pick up the pace. That would be understandable, if I didn't have a broken ankle and pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 062

You deserved it 1 597

By CollegeKID - 23/05/2012 03:27 - United States

Today, I went to orientation for college. They gave us a name tag and I tried to figure out how to put it on for a few minutes. After struggling with it I realized it was a sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 836

You deserved it 29 791

By Men '86 - 24/07/2011 06:41 - Canada

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 979

You deserved it 39 240

By clementine8 - 14/02/2009 06:23 - United States

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 453

You deserved it 2 763

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 358

You deserved it 5 267

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Top comments

vladmire 4

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:55

The real important thing to ask: is the t.v. Okay?

Neesalun 20

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:55

Lol! Poor baby!

Neesalun 20

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:55

Lol! Poor baby!

Soniye 14

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Thursday 12 September 2013 2:16

By any chance is his name Marley ?

Duladian 19

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Thursday 12 September 2013 5:40

61, I'm willing to bet you, that her dogs name is "Buck."

vladmire 4

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:55

The real important thing to ask: is the t.v. Okay?

vladmire 4

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:59

But in all seriousness I hope your dog is okay

zBLAKEz 23

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Thursday 12 September 2013 4:50

In all seriousness I hope his t.v. is ok.

GoodLookingGeese 10

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Thursday 12 September 2013 6:49

The tv is ok - it's a 5000 irregular piece puzzle

The_Paladin 16

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:56

poor dog, but it's kind of funny and cute too.

TheCaramelKing 11

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 23:32

It means the dog love when you (or others) say his name!

ilovefoooood 4

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:57

MY CHANCE AT BEING ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE TO COMMENT AND GETTING A LOT OF THUMBS UP. I BETTER SAY SOMETHING FUNNY. annnnd.. I have nothing

lilhellian 26

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:58

So you decided to try to use something from ifunny, this ultimately a waste of a top 10 comments.

DorklyComicFan 8

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:58

You blew it.

Wizardo 33

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:57

Dammit Scooby!

brennc94 3

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Thursday 12 September 2013 5:55

Marry me lol.

SlapAndTickle 20

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Thursday 12 September 2013 18:33

That's not creepy at all. #78 Must be reading Perdix's lastest book on how to be a creepy bastard, lol.

horne2 9

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:57

How big is your dog

Welshite 39

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 23:19

It was a teacup chihuahua.

150493x 29

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:59

He's barking mad

Zaros_fml 24

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Thursday 12 September 2013 1:29

That made me cringe.

Mossears133 15

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Thursday 12 September 2013 1:46

I appreciate your bad pun! n_n

uglyluckgirl 8

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 23:00

He doggone it!

PapaMoti 21

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 23:00

Moon Moon strikes again!

Welshite 39

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 23:04

Who names their dog "Moon Moon"?

Wizardo 33

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 23:05

The same people that names their child Honey Boo Boo.

PenguinBitch 43

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 23:05

@13 Sorry but this is FML not Ifunny. Plus, it's a dog, not a wolf....,..imbecile. >.>

RedPillSucks 31

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 23:39

Why is OP an imbecile because of what the dog does? And why can't an FML be funny?

NeighSoulSister 6

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 23:53

16- You know that's not her actual name, right?

areakiller525 9

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Thursday 12 September 2013 0:14

Moon moon came from tumblr not ifunny

PenguinBitch 43

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Thursday 12 September 2013 1:05

The idea came from iFunny. I use the app frequently.

ElricMustang 23

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Thursday 12 September 2013 1:37

Lol that automatically means you know where it originated from? You, my friend, have a lot to learn about the internet...

PenguinBitch 43

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Thursday 12 September 2013 2:06

Then where did it originate from? I agree that the post/photo, where you match your month and day with names and the chosen names is your "wolf" name, if I can recall, came from somewhere else. But the idea of "Moon-Moon" came from iFunny.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

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Thursday 12 September 2013 3:45

What in gods name is ifunny? This may be stereotyping, but it makes me think of an Asian guy talking in broken English. "I funny man, I make funny all time!"

Saywat145 17

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Thursday 12 September 2013 4:39

IFunny is an app with a group of people that have a low self esteem. The app displays photos, gifs, and videos posted by the users. Twice a day, a set of twenty 'features' is set up. IFunny team is known to be own by monkeys.

SqueakyChipmunk 20

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Thursday 12 September 2013 5:08

Tumblr came up with ifunny, I saw the post that started it all. Ifunny just reposts things from every website, including this one.

rt156 16

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Thursday 12 September 2013 5:33

really? poor dog,what did he do to deserve that name

PenguinBitch 43

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Thursday 12 September 2013 5:33

Well, I was proved wrong. @66, that and also most of it is now nudes and kiks. And a lot of their comments from their users dont make sense.' eno siht ekiL'