Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed... - FML

By Electronotfriend - Poland

Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML

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Leave us alone

Dementia or hate? You decide

Triage

By Accident-prone af - 7/7/2020 20:02

Kitchen nightmares

Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML

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By Paul - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

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By what did i marry - United States - Memphis

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the Earth is not flat. He didn’t believe me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

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By single and unbuggered - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He didn't break down into tears, or say he'd made a huge mistake, or even apologise. No, he just looked up and said "Bugger." FML

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By badcomparison - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML

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By badplacerightnow - United States - Frisco

Celebrate good times come on!

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

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By superjstorm - Philippines

Today, I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. After circling around for 20 minutes, I finally saw a shaded spot in the uncovered parking lot area under a tree. It turns out, I parked under a coconut tree. I could tell from the coconut planted into my hood. FML

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By technical - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/3/2021 20:01

Catch 22

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Monterey Park

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

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By samaram - United States

Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Evansville

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

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By stillhurting - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

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By Bechara - Pakistan

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend "Actually, its a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

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By JohnFarrell - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

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By Anonymous

Confinement's gonna be fun

Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML

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By ooops - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

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By French - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

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By Nicoleanne

Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML

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By theskippster - United States

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

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By PackingSpaceHeat - United States

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

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By TayRenee - United States - Rock Hill

Today, while in an ambulance after being in a car wreck, the EMT told me I would need to sign some electronic paperwork. He held it above my head for me to sign and promptly dropped it on my my face, breaking my nose. FML

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By Ouch - United States

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

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By Iahim

The truth

Today, I tried to prank my girlfriend. I said, “I saw you kissing another guy!” She apologized. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got my hair trimmed to look fresh for my sister's wedding this week. The woman messed up so badly that the manager had to step in and fix it. I lost 8 inches of hair and my dad keeps telling me I look like a medieval stable boy. FML

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By BreechInEducation

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he was a breech baby, which according to him meant that he born out of his mum's butthole. FML

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By Idigrespectfulattire - Trinidad and Tobago - Port-of-spain

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the Cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML

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By soawkward - Canada

Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

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By LovedByFamily - Germany - Köln

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Wakefield

You made them use coasters, Monica

Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML

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By figures - United States

Today, I found out I've been misspelling my middle name for 25 years. FML

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By notattractiveatall - Australia - Newcastle

Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Akron

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

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By beablue18 - Germany

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

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By Anonymous - 8/4/2021 21:00 - Finland

How smelly is your piss?

Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML

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Top comments

By elara15 | 0

#448689 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:35

Usually there are signs warning of such things, but I probably would've grabbed the fence out of instinct. Sorry, that's horrible.

By RedNeckAndProud | 0

#448675 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:32

haha thats hilarious

COMMENTS

By RedNeckAndProud | 0

#448675 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:32

haha thats hilarious

Reply

Hanban | 0

#824498 - Thursday 4 February 2010 13:37

I'm sensing that the OP still has her fingers intact and not electrocuted since she had the nerve (pun intended) to type this story.

Reply

dontbugme | 0

#982040 - Tuesday 20 April 2010 2:37

ouch! why are there electric fences on a MOUNTAIN?!?! its not like u can rob it or theres jewelz in it! ppl these dayz, i mean cum on u cant own a mountain!

Reply

lawlita | 0

#982968 - Wednesday 21 April 2010 7:26

103- could be for livestock of sorts. I'm sure OP didn't mean like a rocky cliff mountain, just maybe some steep hills and fields. The kind you'd see Shirley Temple's "Heidi" running around in, ya know?

Reply

bensharp | 5

#3434796 - Saturday 15 October 2011 7:35

I bet it was quite a shock to op;)

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bensharp | 5

#3434798 - Saturday 15 October 2011 7:35

I bet it was quite a shock to op;)

Reply

leonlee2002 | 10

#6005715 - Saturday 12 July 2014 6:32

lawlita... You ARE 103, that's 102 you're replying to

By elara15 | 0

#448689 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:35

Usually there are signs warning of such things, but I probably would've grabbed the fence out of instinct. Sorry, that's horrible.

Reply

andyn | 0

#450209 - Sunday 2 August 2009 14:44

Electric fences don't even hurt, I grabbed those things for laughs when i was like 8

Reply

thias_fml | 0

#451059 - Sunday 2 August 2009 21:16

I grabbed them for fun also when i was little they don't hurt at all unless you grab two different wires because then the electricity meets at your chest and gets a lot more painful.

By rosebud_fml | 0

#448697 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:36

zzzzt!

By HeyThatsMySoc | 0

#448699 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:36

o.o *hugs*

By abandonship | 3

#448701 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:37

x____X

By iJack | 0

#448702 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:37

Wow, you ok?

Reply

thisismythugboys | 0

#2122837 - Friday 25 February 2011 14:09

obviously if he's posting on fml

By OneandOnlyOne | 0

#448704 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:37

ouch ouch ouch!!!

By meanie_monday | 0

#448705 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:37

Did it soften your fall?

By jandersoniii | 0

#448706 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:37

YDI for being a dirty mexican and trying to make it to the US and steal American jobs. youre not welcome here puta

Reply

xxmollyxx | 25

#448724 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:40

Mexican? That's intelligent.

Reply

capital_seven | 0

#448729 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:42

OP is in Poland.

Reply

freakdiablo | 0

#448735 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:43

Yeah...A Mexican trying to sneak into the US by way of Poland...Fail troll is fail.

Reply

FacePALM24 | 0

#448739 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:44

lololol agreed #9

Reply

AmoraLynn | 6

#448759 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:48

ummm commented on the wrong thing?? or just bieng an ass?

Reply

TheLoneWolf87 | 4

#448905 - Sunday 2 August 2009 0:35

STFU you racist asses go peddle your smut to Bill O'reilly or someone who gives a damn.

Reply

Saromo | 0

#448961 - Sunday 2 August 2009 0:55

Take it down a notch fucker.

Reply

moony_fml | 0

#451339 - Sunday 2 August 2009 23:16

hahaha that's funny (thumbs up)

By fieryice | 0

#448708 - Saturday 1 August 2009 23:38

HAAHAH!