Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the... - FML

By Gamergirl137 - 16/1/2016 02:28 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24387

You deserved it

2565

Tweet

Share

Family values

That'll be Kevin in accounting

Great guy

By Anonymous - 21/6/2016 23:24 - United States - Winder

Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14415

You deserved it

1048

Tweet

Share

By "chris_lillo" - 31/1/2020 18:00 - United States - Waco

Late reaction

Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1710

You deserved it

189

Tweet

Share

By ChinaWillOwnUs - 27/8/2018 15:00

Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2668

You deserved it

207

Tweet

Share

By stuck - 17/6/2009 03:42 - United States

Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28774

You deserved it

10449

Tweet

Share

By Weedle - 4/6/2019 20:00

Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

783

You deserved it

1755

Tweet

Share

By pmony - 2/2/2012 02:48 - United States

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24284

You deserved it

9681

Tweet

Share

By hatetodisappoint - 21/10/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12266

You deserved it

39969

Tweet

Share

By aqua88 - 5/11/2009 15:26 - Malaysia

Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40937

You deserved it

3264

Tweet

Share

By Eisenhorn - 10/6/2015 17:55 - United States

Today, our mouse problem finally started to go away. Now we have a snake problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25514

You deserved it

2091

Tweet

Share

By Karate Kid - 25/5/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6941

You deserved it

35168

Tweet

Share

By I quit - 19/11/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27086

You deserved it

3321

Tweet

Share

By travelsickness - 10/8/2010 13:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34394

You deserved it

3316

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/5/2012 05:25 - United States - Astoria

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33044

You deserved it

3475

Tweet

Share

By citylife - 20/4/2013 20:22 - United States

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46607

You deserved it

10022

Tweet

Share

By syco - 28/12/2010 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34168

You deserved it

7341

Tweet

Share

By KelseNM - 1/11/2019 00:01

Scary story time!

Today, I had eye surgery to try and stop the progression of my eye disease. Being conscious for the surgery, I was given numbing drops before we began. My doctor started cutting my cornea before the drops took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2245

You deserved it

103

Tweet

Share

By I hate my job - 23/12/2014 08:14 - Canada - Delta

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36128

You deserved it

3079

Tweet

Share

By FML - 29/7/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38123

You deserved it

7472

Tweet

Share

By fckmylife - 20/12/2016 19:47

Today, I found out that I'm being sued for posting on Facebook about a customer service experience with a local company. Even though we have witnesses, the owners of the store claim that we're lying about the whole thing and that we're "malicious". FML

I agree, your life sucks

8975

You deserved it

689

Tweet

Share

By OCDrunk - 23/11/2011 06:40 - Australia

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27929

You deserved it

9868

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/1/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27455

You deserved it

3493

Tweet

Share

By Sybille - 6/12/2008 12:14 - France

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

I agree, your life sucks

28428

You deserved it

4025

Tweet

Share

By NowABlonde - 9/3/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I decided to lighten my hair. I applied the dye and waited 20 minutes. When I went to wash the dye out, the water wouldn't turn on. After my head started to burn, I called the landlord in a panic. Turns out there was a water main break and the entire city block doesn't have water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

81441

You deserved it

5945

Tweet

Share

By raybandy - 24/1/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26161

You deserved it

2344

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/6/2019 06:15

Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1820

You deserved it

145

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/3/2013 19:45 - United States - Piscataway

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38740

You deserved it

3415

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/9/2013 16:10 - United Kingdom - Godalming

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43746

You deserved it

3754

Tweet

Share

By gotta euthanize em all - 29/11/2014 19:45 - Canada

Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32763

You deserved it

3668

Tweet

Share

By CheapFamily - 9/4/2014 23:47 - United States

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56365

You deserved it

3786

Tweet

Share

By unfortunate - 30/6/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50026

You deserved it

3171

Tweet

Share

By Anna - 13/7/2013 04:40 - United States - New York

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51209

You deserved it

3202

Tweet

Share

By Mike - 20/12/2017 01:30

Today, I received the Christmas gift I bought for my sister in the mail. I also received a nearly $200 bill for shipping fees, taxes, etc. for a $50 blanket from Canada. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3833

You deserved it

991

Tweet

Share

By lala7 - 20/8/2011 23:02 - United States

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32019

You deserved it

2543

Tweet

Share

By smells like ass - 29/12/2016 03:05

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4944

You deserved it

398

Tweet

Share

By skyllabeauty1234 - 23/7/2015 03:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24140

You deserved it

2693

Tweet

Share

By cherrycokeee - 6/2/2010 18:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend of two years said he would finally take me somewhere romantic. I spent my day at a Star Wars convention. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29806

You deserved it

7010

Tweet

Share

By lizi - 21/8/2017 03:30 - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3613

You deserved it

679

Tweet

Share

By jxfc - 7/11/2016 08:11 - United States - Tracy

Today, as I was helping a customer, she asked if it was my first day and who was training me. Evidently, I'm bad at my job, because I've worked there for 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9508

You deserved it

1398

Tweet

Share

By owmyhead - 21/8/2011 00:08 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16051

You deserved it

49367

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37983

You deserved it

3245

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Avi8r | 22

#6512099 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:48

That was pretty immature of both of them

By TripleATeam | 13

#6512101 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:49

Well, at least your boyfriend wanted your ex to know he lost something great. Too bad it didn't work out.

COMMENTS

By nyenisu | 14

#6512098 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:48

Yikes..

By Avi8r | 22

#6512099 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:48

That was pretty immature of both of them

Reply

trellz17 | 19

#6512155 - Saturday 16 January 2016 20:52

It's not immature for her ex to laugh at the situation. No one got hurt.

Reply

SBurrke | 11

#6512214 - Saturday 16 January 2016 22:36

As if you wouldn't laugh when you saw that? Bullshit.

Reply

Angelkisses130 | 26

#6512531 - Sunday 17 January 2016 6:58

I don't think it's immature- I'd love for my bf to smack my booty in front of an ex because it's a way of my bf saying, "she's mine"

Reply

PANDORUM89 | 21

#6512895 - Sunday 17 January 2016 19:09

idky you got down voted. I'd like that too! or an 'in your face" ass grab.

By Enkeria | 30

#6512100 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:48

Well, I can certainly see why he's your ex. I do advise keeping the butt slapping to a minimum though.

Reply

itsalanis | 24

#6512190 - Saturday 16 January 2016 22:01

Tell that to the boyfriend, not the op.

By TripleATeam | 13

#6512101 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:49

Well, at least your boyfriend wanted your ex to know he lost something great. Too bad it didn't work out.

By hfslkp47012759 | 28

#6512105 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:50

Baby got back

Reply

aahm1403 | 5

#6512523 - Sunday 17 January 2016 6:53

Why the dislikes, lol? Thumbs up people :/

By Reider022 | 16

#6512116 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:55

This one depends on how bad the breakup went, but either way you have another bf now so don't overthink it just move on.

By stangbang92 | 17

#6512117 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:56

Sorry but if I saw a girl get spanked and then mess all over her self while choking on food and the boyfriend profusely apologizing. I'd be laughing my ass off.

By fuckfuckityfuck | 16

#6512119 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:57

Him laughing at you wouldn't justify you slapping him. Because if he slapped you back, you would try to act like you were a victim even though you brought it upon your own self.

By Mathalamus | 24

#6512121 - Saturday 16 January 2016 19:59

I would not approve of this, because it isn't mature...

Reply

willsnow18 | 11

#6512181 - Saturday 16 January 2016 21:35

seriously, what defines as mature these days?

Reply

DexBanWhore | 6

#6512421 - Sunday 17 January 2016 4:58

What part of this wasn't mature? assuming that the current bf knew that was the exs place of work and did that yea that's a little immature but if he didn't the only immature one is you

By Y0UI34574RD | 15

#6512126 - Saturday 16 January 2016 20:01

Is your boyfriend seven or eight years old by chance?