Today, I was the organist for a wedding. I had practiced for... - FML

By mikuxxhatsune - 5/6/2017 02:00 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I was the organist for a wedding. I had practiced for weeks, rehearsed with the choir many times and spent hours stressing. During the wedding march, the electric organ malfunctioned, adding on layers of random notes I didn't play. Guess who got yelled at afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3445

You deserved it

232

Tweet

Share

KoBabe

Tense

Gas giant

By fineididntwantkidsanyway - 2/12/2012 23:39 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29747

You deserved it

4503

Tweet

Share

By thefifthdoctor - 10/12/2013 06:04 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47755

You deserved it

3369

Tweet

Share

By kiwi - 13/2/2009 19:24 - United Kingdom

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47190

You deserved it

5550

Tweet

Share

By FinanciallyF*ked - 21/11/2018 15:30

Today, after my husband applied for a VA loan so we could move out of our ridiculously overpriced apartment and into our first home as a mortgage would be significantly cheaper, we were denied. If we can afford $1400/month in rent, we surely can’t be trusted with $1000/month for a mortgage, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks

3076

You deserved it

179

Tweet

Share

By recordyear - 9/8/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32786

You deserved it

7476

Tweet

Share

By catlover - 20/5/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18475

You deserved it

52364

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/3/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42153

You deserved it

6425

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/8/2015 18:31 - United States - Springfield

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks

26713

You deserved it

1866

Tweet

Share

By dammit hearing aid - 10/7/2014 22:17 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42742

You deserved it

22160

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/9/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30293

You deserved it

6828

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/3/2020 20:00

Give me a break!!

Today, in an effort to avoid having the same break as my annoying coworker, I went a little earlier than I usually do. Guess who got moved to a position with an early break? She sat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1402

You deserved it

192

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/7/2009 16:27 - France

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14072

You deserved it

56726

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/4/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47402

You deserved it

5508

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/7/2015 05:05 - United States

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24017

You deserved it

3878

Tweet

Share

By lonely - 8/9/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend blocked me from every form of contact. He told my friend that we broke up, but never told me. I still have his clothes in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3060

You deserved it

188

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/8/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33727

You deserved it

6298

Tweet

Share

By Anon - 29/1/2019 02:00

Today, I was working on an art commission for some random kid's OC and I didn't notice that I made the nose look like a man's private parts. The mother was upset and spammed my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1797

You deserved it

442

Tweet

Share

By meeeoow - 22/1/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30562

You deserved it

2762

Tweet

Share

By proudestmonkey - 24/3/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

91950

You deserved it

6476

Tweet

Share

By Tom_why - 23/5/2009 19:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44256

You deserved it

24168

Tweet

Share

By beautifulme - 31/1/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27045

You deserved it

4764

Tweet

Share

By Indoraptor - 14/11/2009 12:59 - United States

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46304

You deserved it

3110

Tweet

Share

By Blazouta - 11/11/2008 08:32 - France

Today, I'm 20 and I'm going bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55958

You deserved it

4555

Tweet

Share

By G. Briones - 23/11/2011 19:14

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35751

You deserved it

6971

Tweet

Share

By chamberpottime - 16/12/2015 08:58 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22103

You deserved it

1477

Tweet

Share

By dasnich - 5/2/2012 03:46 - United States

Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29648

You deserved it

5324

Tweet

Share

By MagnusDeus - 7/6/2015 15:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27589

You deserved it

1735

Tweet

Share

By devourer, apparently - 14/8/2018 22:18

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that I had grown on him. I thought it was cute, until he added, "like a flesh eating bacteria". FML

I agree, your life sucks

2340

You deserved it

246

Tweet

Share

By cyantist - 23/1/2009 08:24 - United States

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24784

You deserved it

5151

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/6/2012 07:00 - United States

Today, I had an hour long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29438

You deserved it

2062

Tweet

Share

By Urinal Fresh - 2/3/2012 10:19 - Australia

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24085

You deserved it

4348

Tweet

Share

By Niquesha - 23/4/2011 23:56 - United States

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12908

You deserved it

34519

Tweet

Share

By So little trust. - 12/7/2013 23:18 - Canada - Coaldale

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks

52342

You deserved it

7532

Tweet

Share

By glittercat - 26/1/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32103

You deserved it

3295

Tweet

Share

By JustAGiftCardPlease - 16/6/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41933

You deserved it

3800

Tweet

Share

By wideman - 28/2/2009 07:59 - United States

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

18444

You deserved it

65365

Tweet

Share

By Broken - 3/11/2015 18:13 - United States - Billerica

Today, I took my nephew to the roller rink and I broke not one arm but both. Now I can't even wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21400

You deserved it

1767

Tweet

Share

By mbesameh - 11/6/2011 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43612

You deserved it

6224

Tweet

Share

By Eyesore - 16/4/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30120

You deserved it

86426

Tweet

Share

By thecatlady - 27/2/2013 07:12 - Australia - Kambalda

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30686

You deserved it

4275

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7465303 - Sunday 4 June 2017 19:15

The manufacturer of the organ?

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7465315 - Sunday 4 June 2017 19:43

That organ didn't malfunction--it was possessed!

COMMENTS

By RichieRich34 | 7

#7465284 - Sunday 4 June 2017 18:23

*Kevin Hart voice* Malfunctioned? Reeeeeaaaalllllyyyy? ;:j

By RichardPencil | 28

#7465303 - Sunday 4 June 2017 19:15

The manufacturer of the organ?

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7465315 - Sunday 4 June 2017 19:43

That organ didn't malfunction--it was possessed!

By RichardPencil | 28

#7465335 - Sunday 4 June 2017 20:24

You got to have a reliable organ! It may not be the biggest organ in town, and it may not have all the bells and whistles (an organ with bells and whistles would be clownish, but I digress).

You just have to have an organ that's big enough and is always ready to perform.

By pjsr | 32

#7465424 - Monday 5 June 2017 0:09

Organ malfunctions are always soooo awkward ....at least that's what my friend says

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7465512 - Monday 5 June 2017 8:42

At least it was a wedding and not a funeral!
Hope you still got paid op, it wasn't your fault!

By Alyssa Eichen Yealy | 0

#7465816 - Monday 5 June 2017 21:48

Hi fellow organist! Had the same exact experience recently, an Allen electronic organ "embellishing" some poor lady's processional march that I had also spent a great deal of time practicing. The organ ended up needing a $600 power supply replaced. Fun times!