Love: Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every...

By Nick - 16/03/2009 05:08 - Canada

Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 639

You deserved it 15 777

Love

Mother of the year

Good kid

Thanks guys

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 335

You deserved it 4 454

Trial and mainly error

By unlucky - 13/11/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, I have done enough trials to confirm that I puke after each time I have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 523

You deserved it 4 513

By frownyface - 14/01/2012 17:32 - United States

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 497

You deserved it 3 175

Horndog

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 08:01

Today, despite giving my sister a place to stay while she's in town for a funeral, she demanded I give a bedroom to her son to have to himself, because, "How am I supposed to have 'sexy time' with my husband with him in the room?" Everyone's sharing rooms, and no one's getting sexy time as someone literally died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 86

By xxxkkxxx - 29/07/2011 15:37 - Hong Kong

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 731

You deserved it 3 320

By you're shitting me - 27/05/2013 05:05 - Australia

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 582

You deserved it 3 230

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He had stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 164

You deserved it 690

Sounds reasonable

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 06:01

Today, my mum gave me a two-month ultimatum to get married or risk being disowned. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 12/06/2012 16:38 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 407

You deserved it 14 494

By IHateGroupProjects - 25/04/2012 13:25 - United States - Riverdale

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 328

You deserved it 2 806

By ouch - 29/03/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 565

You deserved it 16 826

By blah - 15/02/2009 23:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 794

You deserved it 3 799

By G. Briones - 23/11/2011 19:14

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 791

You deserved it 6 980

By Sam - 20/06/2010 13:18 - France

Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 963

You deserved it 3 738

By insulted - 15/11/2011 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was denied membership to an all-women's gym. Why? Because "men are not permitted to join". I am and have always been female. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 028

You deserved it 3 964

By romancocks - 09/05/2014 20:31 - United States - Palatka

Today, some girl in the street mistook me for Richard Simmons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 247

You deserved it 5 773

By thatoneperson - 17/02/2012 12:43 - United States

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 356

You deserved it 5 883

By Today - 07/09/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 248

You deserved it 6 575

By Mikimiks93 - 02/07/2010 15:05 - South Africa

Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 421

You deserved it 7 878

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 373

You deserved it 32 909

Hey! Teachers! Leave those kids alone!

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 13:58

Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 162

By me - 04/08/2012 19:14 - Canada - Debert

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 159

You deserved it 26 775

Almost right

By Anonymous - 26/05/2021 06:01

Today, I told my mom she made me feel unloved my whole life. She called my sister and apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 62

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 054

You deserved it 2 715

By Rose - 23/07/2012 23:06 - United States

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 082

You deserved it 2 352

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 03:48 - United States

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 031

You deserved it 5 509

By Shock - 21/03/2016 20:12 - United States - Littleton

Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 098

You deserved it 1 614

By Anonymous - 10/10/2010 09:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 892

You deserved it 27 128

By Jean - 22/12/2011 08:09 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 186

You deserved it 3 648

By _akwardsituation - 01/01/2010 06:07 - Canada

Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 199

You deserved it 33 142

Nice to know

By justin bieber's nutsack - 06/06/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 176

You deserved it 2 777

By jzone32 - 14/10/2009 05:45 - Canada

Today, I had my first job interview in years. While I was waiting for the manager to come out I realized I had forgotten the resume that I had printed out the night before, since he specifically asked me to bring one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 298

You deserved it 28 204

By JMcKay - 26/01/2012 03:36 - Australia

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 025

You deserved it 6 119

By lonestar - 03/02/2010 13:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 096

You deserved it 5 679

By VacationRuined - 16/06/2013 23:22 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 830

You deserved it 3 419

By Lootz - 03/05/2009 17:10 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 240

You deserved it 20 102

Blood is thicker…

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 13:57

Today, it's been a dozen years since I had sex, as my husband is mentally dealing with molestation as a kid by his uncle. Meanwhile, his mother is on vacation with the molester. Yes, she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 79

By Anonymous - 24/05/2013 21:43 - Iceland - Akureyri

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 426

You deserved it 6 268

By Bob - 12/11/2010 03:55 - United States

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 078

You deserved it 3 643

By srs - 11/08/2018 20:30

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 996

You deserved it 478

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Top comments

Jimboom 11

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:10

How can you go to dinner every week with this hot girl and not have made some sort of move on her? Because it sounds like these dinners have been going on for a while.

bryan314 0

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:17

It sounds to me like she's asking you to formally ask her out. "A weekly dinner" is something I do with a friend. "A date" is something I do with my girlfriend. Ask her out for some other activity some other time of the week and make it CLEAR that it's a date. Sounds less like she's rejecting you/treating you as a friend and more like she's whacking you with a clue by four.

Jimboom 11

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:10

How can you go to dinner every week with this hot girl and not have made some sort of move on her? Because it sounds like these dinners have been going on for a while.

Jbiebs82 0

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Friday 14 May 2010 5:52

I don't get this AT ALL

lizzilla8297 2

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Friday 2 July 2010 17:56

WTF?!

bryan314 0

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:17

SirDirtyRedD 15

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Saturday 24 May 2014 1:15

Yeesssss!!!

shawleigh17 2

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:26

She wants you to ask her out... Un-FML.

jSOPURE 3

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:26

IMO, this is not an FML. Which is a good thing. Make your move! :)

Acerbitas 0

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:29

I'm confused....how is this an FML? Isn't this more of a she's-telling-you-to-make-a-move? Better hurry up before she loses interest :)

andelizastrin 0

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:34

I agree with the others. You should definitely ask her out. And I definitely laughed at #2's "clue by four". Very clever!

OSJG_25 0

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:37

This is a FML. You're in the dreaded "friends" abyss which is almost impossible to escape without losing the friendship. Been there, just done that, bought the t-shirt!

corbincorbin 0

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Tuesday 6 July 2010 8:05

haha I survived the the friend abyss

killa_chris 0

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Monday 16 March 2009 16:56

loll @ #5

labelleza329 0

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Monday 16 March 2009 17:15

you need to have the "relationship talk" its not official until it happens!

AlyshaDeShae 10

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Monday 16 March 2009 17:19

I'm going to have to guess that her response to his "Aren't we?" is what makes this an FML. It does sound like she was just trying to get him to make a move, but she could have simply been making an observation. Sounds like someone might need to check out the Ladder Theory just in case: http://laddertheory.com/