Miscellaneous: Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I...

By ohboy - 06/03/2009 00:51 - United States

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 979

You deserved it 21 412

Miscellaneous

Age difference

Family heirloom

A new enemy

Lockdown blues

By Sed4life - 12/03/2021 05:01

Today, I realized just how small and boring my life has become when the highlight of my week was an "epic quest" to the edge of the lockdown limit, to visit the only store with my favorite toothpaste. They didn't even have any in stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 118

By melyeah - 02/03/2013 14:14 - Australia - Sydney

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 123

You deserved it 3 695

A night to remember

By Donzai - 30/03/2009 22:17 - Canada

Today, I was at my boss's house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4-foot cake before passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 468

You deserved it 81 116

Who talks to you like that at work?

By marie - 28/03/2021 11:02

Today, I decided to listen to some music at work, so I plugged in my headphones and turned on Spotify. Only the music decided to play out loud instead. I was called a “disrespectful little bitch who wasn’t raised right” for not using my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 170

By Donewithit - 02/06/2015 13:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my class was called to the auditorium. We were told that some asshat proctor took a picture of our testing room during out test and posted it on Facebook. Someone noticed that according to the rules, we were sitting too close to each other, so now we have to retake the whole test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 579

You deserved it 2 284

By canabana - 11/04/2009 08:42 - Canada

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 996

You deserved it 6 206

By FML - 05/10/2014 23:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 694

You deserved it 3 153

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 21:48 - Croatia - Rijeka

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 686

You deserved it 3 276

By laststand11 - 26/12/2011 01:35 - Reserved

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 713

You deserved it 2 644

By moerae - 03/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 793

You deserved it 601

By cheesylad - 10/06/2017 06:00 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, I was alone in the car with my crush. For reasons I will never understand, I put on the song 'Kiss a Girl' by Keith Urban. I could feel her cringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 102

You deserved it 1 328

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 913

You deserved it 3 434

By fat and broke - 28/06/2015 07:17 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 821

You deserved it 4 587

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I got stopped for shoplifting at a department store. They took me back to the security room and showed me the tapes. I was taking my own designer lipgloss that I had bought a month before out of my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 138

You deserved it 4 326

By Anonymous - 14/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 171

You deserved it 6 750

By Anonymous - 23/04/2014 02:46 - United States

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 121

You deserved it 5 491

By Anonymous - 25/01/2013 05:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 824

You deserved it 6 321

By fistpumpin4life - 10/10/2010 00:51 - France

Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 565

You deserved it 33 280

By HomelessGirl1 - 21/05/2012 05:28 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 720

You deserved it 10 801

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 22:00

Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 008

You deserved it 259

Mute

By Gassy Gal - 21/03/2021 05:01

Today, I was feeling gassy at work so I used my mute button. Later on in the day, I realized my mute button was disabled. Everyone heard me fart and it's recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 247

By Anonymous - 09/05/2013 07:01 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 755

You deserved it 4 304

Secrecy

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 22:30 - South Africa

Today, I found out my husband of one year has been renting his old batchelor's apartment in secret, because he is unsure if he wants to stay married to me, and we are broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 77

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 22:25 - United States - Statham

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 480

You deserved it 3 359

By Alison - 08/12/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 834

You deserved it 39 887

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 01:56 - United States

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 002

You deserved it 3 112

Nite Flights

By jetlagged - 16/01/2011 17:17 - Sweden

Today, for an eight-hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 906

You deserved it 3 685

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 231

You deserved it 921

By Anonymous - 14/07/2013 04:13 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 005

You deserved it 4 415

By Anonymous - 07/01/2010 05:19 - Australia

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 897

You deserved it 3 234

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 714

You deserved it 4 626

By :| - 22/10/2013 01:40 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 099

You deserved it 2 997

The wrong end of the stick

By poodlesoup - 21/12/2020 22:58 - United States

Today, I actually feel good about my decisions and my life. I've even started running to improve my health, and recover from self harming. My girlfriend is convinced I'm running to hurt myself, and won't let me near any health food or the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 72

By BW - 07/06/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 611

You deserved it 6 256

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 04:02 - United States - Escalon

Today, my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat for not laughing hard enough at his stupid joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 540

You deserved it 4 946

By Anonymous - 16/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 729

You deserved it 34 321

By uncoretard - 11/03/2011 14:33

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 003

You deserved it 7 928

By freakingow - 14/02/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 922

You deserved it 6 832

By SonofDonald - 22/01/2013 17:20 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 352

You deserved it 4 006

By thatsucks4u - 14/08/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 060

You deserved it 51 056

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Top comments

IndigoKitty 3

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:18

thats not really a fml, how were you supposed to know? most people would do the same if someone didn't show when they were supposed to. Don't feel bad!

chibinezu 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:20

She was very rude considering you had no idea what had happened and she was still the one breaking her appointment without notification.

IndigoKitty 3

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:18

thats not really a fml, how were you supposed to know? most people would do the same if someone didn't show when they were supposed to. Don't feel bad!

RyGan 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 13:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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soccerchick800 10

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Wednesday 26 September 2012 5:22

I can see why she'd be upset, but the least she could've done is call u and let u know she couldn't make it today... That sucks OP

adamo_erebus 26

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Friday 1 February 2013 22:29

Yeah, exactly. The owner of the house should've contacted OP to tell him that she couldn't make it.

jc10x 8

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Friday 3 May 2013 17:14

Not your fault OP, even though death is tragic. She could have at least texted you, if not call.

Jimboom 11

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:19

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Sinamoi 18

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Tuesday 1 November 2011 20:19

OP is female.

Vball6 19

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Friday 25 November 2011 21:38

She didn't know he died.

chibinezu 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:20

She was very rude considering you had no idea what had happened and she was still the one breaking her appointment without notification.

poorjudgement 26

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Saturday 12 October 2013 13:11

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grajax 24

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Sunday 12 April 2015 10:45

You presume that every adult you meet is rational? What world do you live in?

last_fml 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:22

I wonder if he had a nice apartment...

bleedingglitter 24

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Saturday 21 March 2015 13:38

That's hilarious. But then again that's probably why all of my comments get thumbed down.

apastry 6

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:27

So, are you rescheduling!

TryToBeKind 0

Friday 6 March 2009 12:28

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Kitten_Marie_220 0

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Wednesday 9 September 2009 6:31

Please, how was he to know? She should have rescheduled if her father was THAT ill

juliarsch 0

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 14:43

Plus, a lot of people don't like to leave messages, because a lot of people don't listen to them/answer them.

akeller3298 1

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Tuesday 7 June 2011 3:29

Who wouldn't be annoyed if this happened ?! When you've been waiting somewhere for over 30 minutes you call ONCE and leave a "Detailed Message" I think not . you call mutiple times cause your so pissed .

codylicious6 0

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Thursday 7 July 2011 8:42

Dumbass.

twilight_lupus 13

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Sunday 13 November 2011 10:01

Right. You call once. Then wait there for god knows how long until they finally listen to the message, if they even do that and call you back. That leaves you waiting there because you don't know where they are, and are afraid that if you get too fed up and leave they will show up. Yeah no. You keep calling until they answer and you know what the heck is going on. And the person should of called the OP to tell them that their father had died and told them they needed to reschedule.

camis 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:28

I agree that it's an embarassing situation for you, but there really was no way that you could know...

texta 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:30

What a bitch.

toddlesscott 0

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Saturday 2 April 2011 16:50

OP? yeah. she is a one.

mlowy 17

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Sunday 24 August 2014 20:02

It's not OPs fault, how was she supposed to know the father died?

Emika_fml 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:33

That's terrible for her, but still... if she KNEW that she had an appointment with you, why would she ignore your calls? It would have saved you time and saved her the irritation if she'd just picked up the phone the first time and said, "Sorry, not today."

musu_fml 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 12:41

#6 It's not harrassment; the OP did have an appointment with her. Are you honestly telling me you'd only leave ONE message and then just sit there waiting? FHL...she's at her father's deathbed and she doesn't turn off her phone? I can only guess that maybe she had some other relatives needing to get in touch.