By notmansbestfriend - 12/08/2013 16:09 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 199
You deserved it 7 796

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

olpally 32

I've heard of "my dog ate my homework" excuse, but this is a new one. Go find another one at a store and quick!

Why did you keep the suit within your dogs reach?

Comments

Barriaultcory 16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

How is that a good idea??

It's an idea that's so terrible it loops all the way back around to awesome!

What if the dog ate his birthday suit? *shudders*

fml1365 30

I sea you had a ruff time.

Damnit we already had a bad pun string on a FML yesterday let's not start this again.

fml1365 30

What one :)

Barriaultcory 16

It isn't a good idea but idk what would be in that situation

olpally 32

I've heard of "my dog ate my homework" excuse, but this is a new one. Go find another one at a store and quick!

I used 'my dog ate my homework' as an excuse one time. The teacher didn't believe me so I showed her the video. The really hard part was getting the kibble to stick to the pages!

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Omfgitsmia 15

He probably lives alone.

SeedlessMe 13

Yes, I will attest to that. When you live alone with a dog, you're not allowed to have privacy. Lol

Especially if you are shitting like OP, the door being open is a good thing. Sea food coming back out could be quite suffocating if trapped in.

Can't always trust seafood. Too many FMLs about the trouble it causes.

I bet he, too, now "seas food differently."

crackmore278 13

That dog is in for one heck of a time out

God damn it, you got me picturing a dog in a tux being the classiest party guest ever.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Sisters wedding, not his.

Plot twist: OP is marrying his sister.

Why did you keep the suit within your dogs reach?

tounces7 27

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

OP was using the bathroom when it happened.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

So once your dog starts chewing on your clothes and shoes, you just say fuck it and take him to a new home? You really shouldn't get a dog if you don't think it'll chew on your stuff. It's a damn dog. Or are you saying its ok if they chew on shoes, but not clothes? Or vice versa? I'm lost by your comment, either way it's just dumb.

tounces7 27

If your dog can actually watch you taking a shit and tear your stuff up right in front of you(which I assume he was telling the dog to stop), then your dog is an asshole.

If the dog tear stuff apart ( unless it's a puppy ), it has probably not been trained properly. Especially if the owner can see the dog but still not even be able to make it stop.

perdix 29

It's best that you don't go anyways. They're serving raw shrimp at weddings these days, so you'd be stuck on the toilet for a few more days afterwards.

I'm surprised you chose to quote that particular FML Perdix. For those of you that don't know, the FML involved a seafood manager fired for a customer complaint regarding raw shrimp served at a wedding. The customer was too stupid to realize that they needed to cook it first and the employee suffered because of it.

perdix 29

#42, but aren't I full of surprises? I haven't even used my sunglasses for a while :)

MrBoredomioo 18

I love the inter-FMLing in the comments

tounces7 27

Then get it all on video and make $100,000.