Miscellaneous: Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time.... - FML

By Sophie - United Kingdom

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21976

You deserved it

7665

Tweet

Share

Commando

Cloth ears

"Based on your purchase history…"

By imfromtexas02 - United States

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49353

You deserved it

12583

Tweet

Share

By nothowitworks - United States

Today, I was grounded for allegedly lying to my parents about being at my friend's house, in her outdoor hot tub. Apparently, my parents couldn't find me on Google Earth. I can't convince them that it's not actually a live feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5737

You deserved it

319

Tweet

Share

By #201 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52387

You deserved it

16481

Tweet

Share

By The Corner Of Death - United States - Spring

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

660

You deserved it

49

Tweet

Share

By bras r expensive ppl

Today, I realized I was at a top quality ski resort when, while riding the lift, I counted three bras which appeared to have been thrown into the trees from the lift. My little brother counted eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6071

You deserved it

696

Tweet

Share

By nyaahaha - United States

Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54031

You deserved it

20644

Tweet

Share

By allocomrade - United States

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61496

You deserved it

3231

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

I agree, your life sucks

9313

You deserved it

65399

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/12/2020 11:09

The old switcheroo

Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

649

You deserved it

47

Tweet

Share

By Chris - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I thought it would be funny to take an airhorn to a golf course and blow it while people were teeing off. It was very funny, until I blew the horn during some guy's backswing and his ball was shanked in my direction and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

331

You deserved it

4985

Tweet

Share

By WTF, America? - Sweden

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45155

You deserved it

9583

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36097

You deserved it

4150

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46068

You deserved it

4757

Tweet

Share

By Kylie - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13949

You deserved it

28562

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my boss asked me to talk to the HR manager to see if I was happy about my pay, which made me think I was going to get a raise. Turns out they paid me nearly twice as much as they should have for the last 2 years and I owe them over €5000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3083

You deserved it

191

Tweet

Share

By peepants

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2104

You deserved it

286

Tweet

Share

By lovesucks - Australia

Today, I finally got the courage to go up and ask out the girl I have loved for a couple of months now. After she said yes, I was over the moon and ran home to tell my roommate. The next day, I saw her making out with another man. When I confronted her, she said "Oh, you were serious yesterday?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

50976

You deserved it

4229

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Can't win

Today, my supervisor told me off for doing something. When I reminded her that she told me to do it, she yelled at me for correcting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2233

You deserved it

145

Tweet

Share

By Jes

Today, my father called me to ask what my middle name is. He apparently needed to know it to remove me out from his will. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15810

You deserved it

1114

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

863

You deserved it

1617

Tweet

Share

By EmbarrassedChild - United States

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23288

You deserved it

1894

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was picking up my 7 year old daughter at my ex husband's house my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "mommy". FML

I agree, your life sucks

102950

You deserved it

9118

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/8/2020 14:01

Living a lie

Today, I get a scornful look when I try to talk to my husband, let alone try to cheer him up, because he is "severely depressed." Well, unless a friend or neighbor knocks on the door, then he’s the life of the party. Right until they leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1338

You deserved it

183

Tweet

Share

By godhatesme - United States

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7587

You deserved it

36678

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my boss threw me out of her office during a conference call for daring to correct her. The client fired the company because she subsequently got all the information on the call wrong, and plainly had no idea what was going on. From all the screaming, this is now all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12916

You deserved it

887

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Green Lane

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22879

You deserved it

56303

Tweet

Share

By smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks

39998

You deserved it

3822

Tweet

Share

By Ashley Rocha

Today, after my washing machine broke yesterday in the middle of a cycle, I went and spent $1400 on a new one. Also today, my dryer started to smoke and almost caught my clothes on fire. There goes another $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2696

You deserved it

307

Tweet

Share

By Willow McGarrigle - 4/6/2020 23:00

Manipulation

Today, my ex, who I only dated for 3 months, told me the only reason why he dated me was because he thought my sister was hot, and he just wanted to get closer to her. So thank you for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1588

You deserved it

110

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30238

You deserved it

3366

Tweet

Share

By Daria_Weiner - Russian Federation

Today, at my anniversary party and in front of all our friends, I accidentally called my husband-to-be by my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16410

You deserved it

48488

Tweet

Share

By Say Cheese - United States

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39253

You deserved it

3665

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

I agree, your life sucks

55173

You deserved it

5160

Tweet

Share

By arachnidphobia - United States

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30677

You deserved it

3445

Tweet

Share

By tamralee

We've all done it

Today, I scrubbed a spot on a glass window in my house for several minutes. After finally giving up, I realized the spot was on the opposite side of the glass. I wasn't even high. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1088

You deserved it

687

Tweet

Share

By MIB thingy please... - United States - Oregon City

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43814

You deserved it

5534

Tweet

Share

By moduschic - United States

Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23824

You deserved it

17436

Tweet

Share

By tacky_unrefined - United States

Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51385

You deserved it

4060

Tweet

Share

By j

Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32487

You deserved it

4526

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11054

You deserved it

103006

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By lw73 | 2

#4536306 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:03

You seriously didn't notice the tub filling up and your feet splashing in the water. YDI big time!

By perdix | 29

#4536323 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:05

I'll bet he was so mad another plug hole went unattended all weekend!

COMMENTS

By savyk2014 | 6

#4536295 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:01

At least you know it works? xD

Reply

iKendall | 3

#4536298 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:01

O

Reply

himynameischeese | 6

#4536371 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:17

Take a bath in it! Haha

By grrrrmetigers | 0

#4536300 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:01

new indoor swimming pool?(:

Reply

CoolBreezeKing | 8

#4537212 - Thursday 7 June 2012 21:12

Yea so she can bring some boats and hoes

Reply

zachherbert | 10

#4537570 - Thursday 7 June 2012 23:13

Waterslide down the stairs!!

By lw73 | 2

#4536306 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:03

You seriously didn't notice the tub filling up and your feet splashing in the water. YDI big time!

Reply

LouisianaBob | 9

#4537655 - Thursday 7 June 2012 23:35

I was thinking that too but then again I've also never seen a shower with a plug so I have to wonder how high the rim is. I can only think of a bathtub having a plug in which case I find this fml all the more silly.

Reply

comeatmebroo6254 | 1

#4538406 - Friday 8 June 2012 2:32

Maybe she didn't include that the faucet got stuck.

Reply

Zaros_fml | 24

#4538637 - Friday 8 June 2012 3:57

Judging by the fact that it's a "small old cottage" I doubt it had a shower stall. Probably a bath tub with a showerhead fixture. The fact that it had a plug makes this even more probable.

Reply

gojira666 | 7

#4540145 - Friday 8 June 2012 14:34

Yea...when the water gets to your knees, it means there is a plug in the drain....YDI

By tony1891 | 22

#4536308 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:03

how do you not know the plug is blocked. looks down.... Oh snap. it's plugged

By Ashley1722 | 3

#4536313 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:04

How do you take a shower and not realize the water rising and eventually spilling over..... YDI op.

By perdix | 29

#4536323 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:05

I'll bet he was so mad another plug hole went unattended all weekend!

By allard | 14

#4536329 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:08

Water you think happens next?

Reply

MrSassypants | 32

#4536415 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:24

Showers of puns start pouring in.

Reply

Ray_of_midnight | 22

#4538492 - Friday 8 June 2012 3:12

Oh, pipe down.

By ImBrent | 8

#4536333 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:08

Sounds like your fault. Not sure how you could let the water just fill up that much without noticing.

By urbanimpression | 6

#4536344 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:11

You couldn't feel water on your legs all that time and out soaked through to the lower level? Wow.....

By fightinTXaggie | 2

#4536384 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:19

How long was this shower? I can wash up twice and still sit down for about 10 minutes before my showerhead can fill my tub up to bath level, let only spill over...