Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time.... - FML

By Sophie - 7/6/2012 07:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

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Healthy relationship

Boom, headshot

This is fine

By Anon - 24/3/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

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By RollieCollieUSA - 30/1/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

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By so jealous - 27/4/2020 05:00

Goodbye phone

Today, I was FaceTiming a good friend of mine from back home, telling her how good she looked and how happy I was to hear from her. My insanely jealous girlfriend snatched my phone and smashed it on the ground. I was saying my friend looked good because she'd just finished chemo. FML

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By davincourt - 29/4/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

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By MM - 21/1/2014 23:26 - United States - Saco

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

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By hlev24 - 3/3/2009 16:20 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

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By Kellie - 31/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, I found a hidden camera in my room equipped with night vision and a microphone. My parents have been spying on me for at least the past year. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 20:36 - Canada

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

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By ENZ - 3/11/2019 23:30

Emotional lift

Today, I finally got my paycheck that I could enjoy $300 for myself after taking care of my bills with so many other ones. Then, I find out that the water was shut off, which is supposed to be my roommate's responsibility. Apparently, he has not paid it in months, and they want $288. FML

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By NeedHeadPhone - 30/11/2009 16:51 - Canada

I love that for you

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

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By MyS3lf - 19/4/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/9/2015 09:01 - United Kingdom - Southam

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

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By Gears - 29/4/2019 16:00

Today, I had dinner at a local fast food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML

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By daughter in law - 8/11/2016 06:05 - United States

Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/3/2011 21:51 - United States

Today, I had to wait an hour in the awful rain for my mom to pick me up, because she didn't realize the clocks had gone forward already. FML

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By grandpa porn - 28/8/2017 01:30

Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML

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By Rhea - 28/10/2009 11:00 - Australia

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

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By anonymous - 17/9/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

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By Username - 6/4/2011 03:26

Today, I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication due to the high level of stress that I experience at my job. Unfortunately, I cannot afford the medication because I do not make enough money at said job. FML

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By martyn28 - 13/8/2013 14:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

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By UsuallyaUnicornbread - 26/11/2014 21:01 - United States - Morrisville

Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML

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By Canali18 - 17/9/2016 14:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after working a 24-hour shift I was finally able to get some sleep. Not even an hour after falling asleep, I was woken up by my drunk husband humping my leg. FML

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By nakedness - 11/12/2011 01:35 - Australia

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 20:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

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By SerenityJ - 27/9/2013 20:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

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By Anonymous - 10/8/2013 04:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

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By ohray - 11/12/2014 16:09 - Turkey - Kibris

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

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By max - 3/1/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I went jogging with my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure my moobs bounced more than her breasts. FML

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By swedishdude - 14/11/2009 13:37 - Sweden

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

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By Bliggins - 28/11/2012 03:08 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

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By Nadaz - 5/4/2012 11:29 - United States - Charlotte

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

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By FireoftheFuture - 2/5/2013 11:02 - United States

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

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By skyhawk13 - 30/10/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

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By hrs220 - 21/5/2016 21:55 - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I gave a presentation for my final on class. While I was giving the speech my shirt strap broke. I ended up flashing everyone including the teacher. At least I got an A. FML

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By JeffeeBojangles - 28/2/2012 12:46 - United States

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

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By shameonme - 1/4/2016 19:46 - United States - Nampa

Today, I found out one of my friends had never seen the "Two Girls, One Cup" video, so I loaded it up and told him to watch it. I knew he was squeamish, but I didn't expect him to actually pass out. He cracked his head on the side of my desk and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

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By Kailey - 28/10/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

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By Wowseriously - 18/9/2019 12:00 - United States

Dumpster Fire Boyfriend

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how hard it is to wash long hair. While I was talking, he interrupted and said, "Wait, you actually wash your hair?" FML

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By gtrs750 - 9/8/2009 13:48 - Canada

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

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By bob - 7/2/2011 06:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that FedEx delivered my $700 package to the wrong person. The person who signed for it didn't even spell my name right. FML

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Top comments

By lw73 | 2

#4536306 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:03

You seriously didn't notice the tub filling up and your feet splashing in the water. YDI big time!

By perdix | 29

#4536323 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:05

I'll bet he was so mad another plug hole went unattended all weekend!

COMMENTS

By savyk2014 | 6

#4536295 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:01

At least you know it works? xD

Reply

iKendall | 3

#4536298 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:01

O

Reply

himynameischeese | 6

#4536371 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:17

Take a bath in it! Haha

By grrrrmetigers | 0

#4536300 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:01

new indoor swimming pool?(:

Reply

CoolBreezeKing | 8

#4537212 - Thursday 7 June 2012 21:12

Yea so she can bring some boats and hoes

Reply

zachherbert | 10

#4537570 - Thursday 7 June 2012 23:13

Waterslide down the stairs!!

By lw73 | 2

#4536306 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:03

You seriously didn't notice the tub filling up and your feet splashing in the water. YDI big time!

Reply

LouisianaBob | 9

#4537655 - Thursday 7 June 2012 23:35

I was thinking that too but then again I've also never seen a shower with a plug so I have to wonder how high the rim is. I can only think of a bathtub having a plug in which case I find this fml all the more silly.

Reply

comeatmebroo6254 | 1

#4538406 - Friday 8 June 2012 2:32

Maybe she didn't include that the faucet got stuck.

Reply

Zaros_fml | 24

#4538637 - Friday 8 June 2012 3:57

Judging by the fact that it's a "small old cottage" I doubt it had a shower stall. Probably a bath tub with a showerhead fixture. The fact that it had a plug makes this even more probable.

Reply

gojira666 | 7

#4540145 - Friday 8 June 2012 14:34

Yea...when the water gets to your knees, it means there is a plug in the drain....YDI

By tony1891 | 22

#4536308 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:03

how do you not know the plug is blocked. looks down.... Oh snap. it's plugged

By Ashley1722 | 3

#4536313 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:04

How do you take a shower and not realize the water rising and eventually spilling over..... YDI op.

By perdix | 29

#4536323 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:05

I'll bet he was so mad another plug hole went unattended all weekend!

By allard | 14

#4536329 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:08

Water you think happens next?

Reply

MrSassypants | 32

#4536415 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:24

Showers of puns start pouring in.

Reply

Ray_of_midnight | 22

#4538492 - Friday 8 June 2012 3:12

Oh, pipe down.

By ImBrent | 8

#4536333 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:08

Sounds like your fault. Not sure how you could let the water just fill up that much without noticing.

By urbanimpression | 6

#4536344 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:11

You couldn't feel water on your legs all that time and out soaked through to the lower level? Wow.....

By fightinTXaggie | 2

#4536384 - Thursday 7 June 2012 16:19

How long was this shower? I can wash up twice and still sit down for about 10 minutes before my showerhead can fill my tub up to bath level, let only spill over...