Today, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over...

By BrokeInLove - 30/6/2009 19:55 - France

Today, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over 2 hours selecting the perfect ring and diamond to match. When filling out the paperwork I discovered I left my wallet at home. She had to pay the 20% down payment for the ring. FML

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Love

Rock, hard place

Tense

Inspirational tale

By Anonymous - 25/10/2008 16:55

Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML

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By married life - 16/5/2013 05:58 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/4/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML

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By Jan - 18/10/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

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By unimpressed bride - 22/11/2015 06:10 - United States - Traverse City

Today, it's been two weeks since I got married. It's also two weeks since my husband got cold feet about moving in together, because he thinks the sudden change would be too emotionally distressing for his cat. FML

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By thatisfuckedup - 13/6/2013 22:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/2/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/9/2010 07:47 - Venezuela

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/9/2017 01:30

Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML

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By Stupid - 22/4/2013 06:58 - United States - Post Falls

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

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By dirtytoes - 6/11/2015 14:27 - United States - Houston

Today, I found a diaper in the parking lot. It's been raining all morning. This was the wrong day to wear flip-flops. FML

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By caterinette - 27/11/2014 02:04 - Portugal

Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML

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By Brady - 30/4/2013 16:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/4/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 16:17 - United States

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

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By Z - 9/4/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

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By anonymous - 27/11/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, after spending hours putting up our tree and decorating it, it fell over and shattered the glass ornaments. FML

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By stillfuckingcrying - 24/2/2013 21:20 - Sweden - Kristdala

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

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By zAstonish - 28/11/2019 14:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Porn, comment

Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2013 10:30 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

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By anonymous - 1/12/2019 14:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Secret sex

Today, I had a dream that I had secret sex with Dumbledore more than once. FML

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By super maman - 30/9/2014 03:08 - France - Montauban

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/8/2019 20:00

Today, I learned that the gong my job installed less than 30 feet from my desk is being moved, due to noise complaints. To the office building I'm moving to in a few weeks. FML

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By BejeweledJizz - 5/11/2016 12:29

Today, after weeks of being addicted to Bejeweled Blitz, I couldn't stop thinking about it while having sex with my girlfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/3/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/3/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

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By countryblumpkin - 1/8/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

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By awkword - 31/12/2014 17:47 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

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By unicorn - 13/9/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

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By HarleyGirl - 25/4/2017 18:00 - United States - Sterling Heights

Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML

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By petty petty petty - 8/9/2017 16:00

Today, my mom yelled at me for fighting with my younger brother. Not because she wanted us to stop, but because my brother couldn't find a good comeback to my argument. FML

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By xkal174 - 15/11/2010 11:33 - United States

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/9/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

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By cat lady - 7/1/2016 03:38 - United States - Netcong

Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML

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By Dante178 - 8/12/2011 20:41 - United States

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

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By lauren - 8/7/2010 04:51 - United States

Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML

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By moms a baby - 31/3/2014 02:44 - United States - Loma Linda

Today, my mom stopped playing badminton with me because she claimed I was too aggressive. Apparently winning, playing by the rules, and smashing is considered aggressive. FML

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By CrapDay - 18/1/2017 22:00

Today, I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark to go off to work. I saw what looked like a piece of slime that my children would play with and went to pick it up. Nope. Turns out it was puppy shit. Wet, slimy puppy waste. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/2/2014 07:02

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

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By thisguy - 24/2/2012 01:54 - Canada

Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML

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Top comments

By Knockyoudown | 0

#356388 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:03

Ouch, that sucks but you can always pay her back.

By voodootrucker | 0

#356408 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:07

I'm going to remember that trick

COMMENTS

By Knockyoudown | 0

#356388 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:03

Ouch, that sucks but you can always pay her back.

MsTs1 | 0

#356450 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:15

YDI, what kind of dumbass buys a DIAMOND RING for a bitch who's just going to divorce you in 8 months or less, fuck that bitch, buy yourself a nice new car instead

fmlAllStar7274 | 0

#356476 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:25

wow. just wow. Obviously either u r gay, or no girl has ever fallen for you.... Thats just sad...

lovexcheer33 | 0

#356480 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:26

lmafo. wow dumb ass. someone whose getting MARRIED maybe? hahahah.

MasterModeraor | 0

#356691 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 3:50

Shes not having sex with you for a while now...

mzmartinez92 | 0

#356727 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 4:01

wtf, its just a mistake dude

zim2411 | 0

#356747 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 4:08

This doesn't even really suck. There should be a third option, "not really an fml." You are getting married, and are very likely going to start working together financially. So who cares?

GoneRebel | 0

#356750 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 4:09

Dude, YDI not because you forgot your wallet. but because you fail at being french. French people are supposed to be the most romantic people on the planet. FAIL at FRENCHNESS

NDnation44 | 0

#356871 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 5:49

http://www.ihateyounatalie.com/?id=1678835 save a life today

frege_fml | 0

#357101 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 7:50

15, gay guys have way, way more class than this loser.

PrettyVal | 0

#357730 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 15:21

holy crap...who the hell dumped you? everybody?

ilikefish | 0

#357945 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 16:53

I agree with #12.

Xero3g | 5

#358600 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 21:13

I don't there's a video man. I already hacked through.

MsTs1 | 0

#363387 - Friday 3 July 2009 9:41

YDI, what kind of dumbass buys a DIAMOND RING for a bitch who's just going to divorce you in 8 months or less, fuck that bitch, buy yourself a nice new car instead

This_Quiet_Storm | 0

#460136 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 22:51

Maybe he wants the woman he LOVES and is planning to MARRY to have something beautiful and meaningful? I'm all about being practical and would never demand expensive jewelry. But if he WANTS to do it, then he WANTS to do it! Jesus. Stop being jealous your boyfriend didn't get you the ring you wanted. ;)

By princess243 | 0

#356389 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:03

that sucks

By chimmy | 0

#356392 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:04

You could have put it on layaway. Besides, you are starting your life together, I hope you'll be able to pay her back eventually.

EMR_fml | 0

#356807 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 4:58

This sound like a custom made ring and most jewelers require a deposit on custom pieces.

By tehefyl | 0

#356400 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:06

you can always pay her back after :]
and it's not like she's paying for the whole thing

divineinstrument | 2

#358165 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 18:30

Yeah obviously he's gonna pay her back no problem, but OP would have felt quite embarassed, which is why is life is fucked

By voodootrucker | 0

#356408 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:07

I'm going to remember that trick

By Colby_Colbert | 0

#356417 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:08

no rimjob 4u 2night mister

By cucuto89 | 0

#356423 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:09

COol Story BRo

By summer66_fml | 0

#356433 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:12

i hope you payed her back.....and you couldve put it on layaway you know......

By CouchPotato47 | 0

#356434 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:13

hahaha...thats pretty awesome, i wouldve killed to see the look on her face haha...another great site is thetoolbucket.com and fwhyme.com

By Nacirema20 | 0

#356439 - Wednesday 1 July 2009 2:13

wat a lovely fiance u r!! :-/ YDI.