By BigMouth McRedface - 14/05/2010 02:11 - United States

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 815
You deserved it 33 921

Same thing different taste

Top comments

FYLDeep 25

Did your employee call you out on your bullshit excuse under the grounds that women don't poop?

ydi for having another guys name in in your phone and not having something to differentiate between the two... dc


YDI for not playing it off. That would have been the easy way out.

TheVanGirlsing 0

at first I was like  then i was like  now im 

was that really the first thing you wanted to tell your husband?

gzmn91 6

She does have caller ID, #1 But it so happens her husband and the employee have the same name. FYL, OP, you mustve been real embarassed. All you can do is laugh it off with that employee.

rideacowgirl11 0

he should start calling poo ladie! 

TurboTalon 0

Wow first girl to have her husband by his first name in her phone. Why isn't it lover or hubby or soulmate or something similar?

Was that to me 18? Cuz I'm Dominican

NoDeath 0

talking to OP she acts like a black 0.o jk jeez u guys don't have to be racist about it

NoDeath 0

no I was talking to OP Jeez u guys don't have to be racist about it

#18 that made absolutely no sense at all... am I missing a joke?

TheCreator_fml 0

it's honestly no wonder most marriages fail...who wants to call their spouse and hear about how they need to go to the bathroom...

NoDeath 0

Damn. See what I mean. 0.o

Valentina_Baby 7

who says that when they answer a call? like really lol

No death.. It's not serious, I just don't get your joke. I thought it was irrelevant. But if it's funny to you then har har..laugh it up.

girls do not poop. he obviosly is gay

NoDeath 0 Link for laptops and OP that sucks ass

I'm assuming because the OP isn't 13.

#51, so she's a fake woman? She's made of plastic or something? [More than] half of the population is female. Not every woman in the world is like you (thank god). I talk about that stuff all the time. What's the big deal? It's a natural bodily function. It's like sneezing. FYI? A lot of guys are turned off by squeamishness.

Shoulda covered and said you really want some soup or something. Save a lil face, there.

I think it's self-explanatory. I take offense to you saying (paraphrase) that any woman not like you isn't a woman at all. They/we are all lessers. Excuse me, but please remove your head from your ass. Oh and you spelled "woman" wrong both times, even after you "fixed" it.

Haha, whatever. As long as men know we're not all so damn uptight, my job here is done.

Don't answer the phone when she's going to blow.

I agree with #54 (no offense cupcake)

Asstazztic 8

Like I've said before, I love you Intoxicunt :)

Whoo! The love is mutual, but only in a way that doesn't include buttsex. >_>

atticuz 2

51 is not herself today, meaning that she's not feeling too much of a "really women" today. lol fail.

Bloodbathandbeyo 0

Sorry I'm too busy fapping to cupcake's picture, what were we talkin about?

Tantaran 0

uhhh cupcake is cuter so i think she wins. Oh and ohii too.

I think cupcake is cute. I'm a fat gut stuck in an athletes body I love baked goods

not as bad as saying : " what you having cause I am having your dick for super ;D"

Jrook 0

I agree with 54, women should talk about how they go poopie to their husbands. that's not at all retarded

what would be the point of answering the phone that way even if it was your husband? you have the mind of a child.

woowwww that's prettyyy funnyyy that's just a pure blonde moment

ohJeeznotme 7

Because not everyone uses cheesy pet names

Seriously, you could've at least led with hello before sharing your need to poop. maybe even a "how are you?" No, nevermind, that's just getting crazy.

aonbreezy 0

1- she had caller ID they just had the same name

45- I do not know wat goes on in ur head but I'm a girl and I poop all the time

54- thank u you captured everyword I ment to say and if u look at the photos just a girls face -vs- a girl in a slutty dress bra whatever then it only proves ur point more :)

37- the point of marrige is to be around some one who ur relaxed with not someone who your worried to talk to about pooping though yes I agree that IS why most mariges do fail though unfortunatley I must say that I fear your will end up down the toilet for those excact reasons.

54: the next time you take it upon yourself to speak on the behalf of us women, could you leave me out? I don't want to be represented by someone so vulgar. even if you didn't think bodily functions made a good topic for normal conversation, your username would be enough to gross me out.

therevolution 0
Aussieprincess 7
therevolution 0

lol I was so close lol sorry laggy iPhone connection pshh it played me:p

I know exactly what you mean! cupcake is super annoying also :D

YDI for eating :p how can text be annoying? if you were being annoyed wouldn't you stop reading their comments? YDI for annoying urself.... :/

I'm not THAT upset by it. It's not like I said she should die or something. I just really dislike when people basically dehumanize those who are different than they. Her statement may have been an opinion, which she is 100% entitled to, but it was still offensive. She was basically saying any woman who doesn't behave like she does is not even a real woman. WTF kind of statement is that? If my opinions were that ignorant and ego-fueled, I wouldn't state them on a public forum. Oh and most people agreed with me. :)

stfu cupcake. you attention seeking *****. I'm honestly tired of seeing your stupid ******* face all over this website. totally agree with you toxi

Your spelling and grammar are driving me nuts. And way to go. I'm impressed. You managed to make yourself look even more stupid than before. "You take everything up the ass." IT WAS ONE COMMENT. One instance does not constitute "everything". So shut up and go to bed. No one here likes you. *Note to those who obviously can't tell: I wasn't being mean before. NOW I am. Commence comments telling me to calm down. :)

ilikeyouuu 0

intoxicunt- Nobody should be telling you to calm down, mainly because everything you have said is totally valid. Myself, and I am sure, a lot of other people on here can't stand her and her "helpless female, ignorant commenting and attention seeking, etc." ways. Knock, knock..? Cupcake, do you have any brains up there in that hideously styled head of yours? 

I'm ******* ugly. so 93 wins no matter what

Toxi, I completley agree with you, especially when it comes to long term relationships, you should be able to talk about bodily functions. Seriously, she's a married woman not some stupid teenager who's in "luv". Granted, talking about bodily functions on the first date isn't recomended, but when your married, spouses talk about everything, and it could include telling them your pooping :)

are you confused? just because her boobs are bigger than her face doesn't constitute hotness...intoxicunt is quite a cutie ;)

CheshireHalli 19

I agree with Toxi. She was NOT being mean to you before, but now you've her a reason to. Your original comment was ignorant and obnoxious, rawr. And frankly, if I wanted to see ****, I'd look at ****. So please, if you're not going to stop spewing ignorance at Toxi, at the least put a real shirt on before you take a dp, please?

imdeborah 0

I agree with 87. I hate when people say things like that and things like that & think it's true. Cupcake was only joking so it didn't really bother me. But I do get what you're saying, intoxi.

rohosoccer08 1

if she's in a rush to go to the bathroom she just was telling her husband so she could get off the phone... and 28... I have him in the phone as my husband lol

Most people here agree with me. So STFU. And this isn't a "hotness" contest. Huge boobs and oozing trashiness isn't my thing. And how on god's green earth am I "proving women are uptight"? It was a dumb "joke" that didn't even sound like a joke. I'm not uptight. I just hate idiots. Huge, huge difference.

That wasn't the "joke" she made, you ******* moron. Read her comment. It says that a real woman wouldn't talk about that. There's no indicator that's a joke, and it's not even similar to the 'girls don't poop' joke, which I've heard of, so you know. She was saying that it was impolite and not lady-like to talk about shit. I can't prove she wasn't joking, but if she was, it was totally 100% different from the 'girls don't poop' one. I don't even know WHERE you got "real women don't talk about that" = "girls don't poop". Talking about something = doing it now?

Lmao. Wow. But, real women don't talk about dicks! Ha, whatever. I'm relaxed. I'm typing words on a computer. It's not like I'm popping a ******* vein. Enjoy the lovefest, but for the record, I don't think big boobs make someone trashy. And I never said that.

ha ha Intoxicunt said that Cupcake was oozing trashiness. look who's talking you have a lip ring and purple hair. you're an emo bitch who jumped all over cupcake for the slighest thing that was in no way directed at you because she's pretty and you resent that

rohosoccer08 1

... cupcake u also look like my friend Alex's girlfriend lol the past while I have been trying to figure out why u look so familiar and just realized y'all look alike lol... but they live here in tx

EMO? REALLY? Oh wow. Wow. Just...yeah, ok, you're too much of an idiot to bother with. And thanks for the psychoanalysis, but she's not that damn pretty. I'm an avid member of the 'antiduckface' coalition. Come back when you can at least insult me properly. I mean, for ****'s sake, you may as well have called me a snail. Crawl back to your shack.

I get it. you don't like labels. that's why you died your hair and pierced your face. what should I call that? you think of yourself as deeper and smarter than most people so you read to deep into things. look back at the comment that started this argument and see if it really does offend you. my guess is no. you prolly just wanted some conflict because you were bored. and as for the idiot thing I'm actually pretty smart. that's just based on act scores and me being a national merit finalist. and before anyone says anything I know that last sentence makes me sound arrogant. sorry

Ahahahaha. WOW. *I* read too deep into things? You just told me what offends me and what doesn't AND what I like and what I don't like. Alright, Freud. Whatever you say. And I didn't laugh at you calling me 'emo' because I don't like labels, numbskull. It's not a label. It's a type of music. FFS. You're just failing so hard it's beyond funny. You may be smart. In fact, I don't even think you're lying. But even smart people say things that make themselves sound stupid. Like trying to tell me that I like conflict because I got offended at a comment. You don't think it's offensive. I do. I said so. If it's that big of a ******* deal, ignore it. I should be telling you YOU like conflict too much because you're the one who jumped into a conversation that had nothing to do with you. And as far as whether or not I should be offended, a lot of people agreed with me. It's still an opinion, but it's obviously one shared by some other people. So feel free to go on to tell me how my mother abused me and I never got over the death of my uncle or some shit, but you're going to continue being wrong as you have thus far. :)

Huge boobs *******AND******** oozing trashiness. Jesus, can you not read? They are two different things. Look up the word "and". I think she looks trashy AND has big boobs. Both are unattractive to me. Separately. I'll spell it out further if you need me to.

ok I wish I had time to read your comment but I have to go. I have shit to do and this could go on all night. your smarter than you look. I'll give you the win on this one. good job

Take *your* pathetic attempts at spelling and *your* ridiculously lame insults based on a picture and get out of here. WardFML: Haha. Well, that's...good...I think. I like being underestimated. :D

Oh and I thought you weren't talking to me. I love how people say shit like, "I'm done with this. BYE!" to seem cool then keep going because I'm OBVIOUSLY getting to you.

Like one of my buddies told me a while back, "Arguing on the Internet is like competing in the special olympics even if you win the gold medal you are still retarted"

Ugh. That joke was funny the first few times. Pretty worn out by now.

You're REALLY not talking to me, huh?

PaintTheStars 2

"No one here likes you" I like cupcake and why do you have to pile her with insults when she said nothing mean to you. plus her hair is really pretty and she does NOT look trashy. also uhm her boobs aren't totally revealed and her hair covers herboobs anyways.

"Doesn't like labels." I like how you're psychic. Oh wait. You're not. Labels are fine with me. Go read my comment, duck girl. It says I didn't like the comment because 'emo' isn't a valid label. My god, almost everyone who has argued with me yet fails at reading. "holy shit I'm not even gonna talk to you until you pull out whatever you've got up your ass" That's a direct copy-paste quote. Yeah. You said you weren't talking to me. But obviously you just said it to sound like you're so above it all. Guy whose name I'm not scrolling up for: I insult people who offend me. If you have the right to say that's wrong, I have the right to say it's wrong for her to have said it in the first place. I don't really see how it was a joke. It wasn't said with any light-heartedness or anything. The tone it seemed to have was, "Liek, omg, what a skankerella! That's sooooooo uncool. Poopie is gross. The op sucks at life for talking about it." It's hard to tell tone in writing, therefore I look for stuff like emoticons and "lol" to differentiate. It's all I can possibly go on. I could have ignored her comment. She could have ignored mine. You could have ignored mine. I could have ignored catherine's. We could all just shut up, but I doubt we will. :)

imdeborah 0

Intoxicunt, once again, I do agree with you, for the most part. But...I feel like you're trying to prove a REALLY GOOD point with the wrong person..There's way WORSE comments that people post (I think I said this)...where are you when people post them? I understand you're trying to prove a point but I don't think cupcake is taking in what you're saying.. I wish you were around on other times, hahah ://

Hmm, good point. I think I don't tackle the really bad ones because they seem hopeless. Stuff like racism. I don't even bother. I actually did think my comment would make her at least think about what she was saying. Someone who is an absolute total idiot would be impossible to get through to.

oneforme 0

I like intoxicunt and she is obviously right here

yeah toxi is just being mean now learn to quit while your ahead

TEE SHIRTS! TEE SHIRTS FOR SALE! Here they are, folks, get yourself a 2010 FML Smackdown tee shirt! Team Toxi shirts: 10 bucks each Team Rawr bras: 55, but that includes an attached webcam and wig We also have themed concessions! Team Toxi hotdogs, and Team Rawr hotdogs with buns!

gothrockerkid 0

when you hit the john don't answer the phone! and she was a ra-tard!!!

therevolution 0

lol @ hangover reference:D

Fake. No Texan could be that stupid.

TheVanGirlsing 0

Wrong answer! She's one of the smartest =)

Valentina_Baby 7

just look at her name haha

is it me or does this VanGirlsing chick comment on every person's ****** comment?

CookiesNOJ 0

16-Real, ALL Texans are that stupid.

YDI for not having at least last initials on ur contacts with the same name, u prolly send dirty texts to your employee on accident.... that's why he's calling you :p

x805xUnknown 6

That's illegal in California. :O

TheVanGirlsing 0

Nothings illegal in California. except loitering. yeah. that's legal.

Talking on the phone with no headset or txting? Yep. That's why I don't do that 

qwacktastick 8

Are you kidding me? Everything's illegal in California.

sweetdreams999 0

ugh I don't think my comment posted.