By Geese Ahoy - United States - Elizabeth
Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
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Canadian Geese are everywhere. They plague where I live pretty much all year round and that's the DC area. Ain't even close to Canada. In any case, you are Forrest (i mean correct. wtf autocorrect) that Canadian Geese are unapologetic assholes. Unfortunately so are American Geese or wherever those white farm ones are from. I recall hating blueberry picking with my mom (or anyone) as a child because the Geese are terrible bullies. And was such a tiny child. I got separated from my mom once and ran I into the flock of Geese while looking for her and next thing I knew they were barreling towards me angrily honking. I literally thought I was gonna die. as there were so many Geese, each as big as me. I made it though. Don't remember how. At that point in the memory I just get engulfed in a wave of panic. I know now to give Geese their space. a lot of space at that. freaking feathered bastards :|


I keep up coming up with sinister stories on my head explaining the goose oodoo dolls. like the bread is just to fatten up the Geese in time for Xmas. I mean seriously, all those carbs! (*whispers* fois grais)

By  yerawizardlizzy  |  27

Oh yeah, geese are terrible. Last spring I had some constantly come after me and I couldn't figure out why. Then I discovered they were trying to nest in a garden I walked past every day. And sometimes geese would come after me for no reason. They suck.

By  rldostie  |  19

Fun fact: The Romans used geese as "guard dogs" for some of their treasuries. Why? Because they're flying assholes. (And because they'll sound an alarm no matter how much steak you try to throw at them).