By Geese Ahoy - 14/11/2016 17:00 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 165
You deserved it 1 062

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Meanwhile, an elderly woman with a bag full of bread and geese shaped voodoo dolls was sitting in her car waiting for you to leave her favorite park bench.

You were so trusting, why? Geese don't even need to be provoked they really are winged assholes.

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You were so trusting, why? Geese don't even need to be provoked they really are winged assholes.

Winged Assholes? Gotta go start a band with that name…

At least Canadian Geese have the decency to apologize for their behavior.

NOOOO THEY DONT, TRUST ME. I'm a Minnesotan, and live on the border. Canadian geese are more vicious than the American farm geese....

Canadian Geese are everywhere. They plague where I live pretty much all year round and that's the DC area. Ain't even close to Canada. In any case, you are Forrest (i mean correct. wtf autocorrect) that Canadian Geese are unapologetic assholes. Unfortunately so are American Geese or wherever those white farm ones are from. I recall hating blueberry picking with my mom (or anyone) as a child because the Geese are terrible bullies. And was such a tiny child. I got separated from my mom once and ran I into the flock of Geese while looking for her and next thing I knew they were barreling towards me angrily honking. I literally thought I was gonna die. as there were so many Geese, each as big as me. I made it though. Don't remember how. At that point in the memory I just get engulfed in a wave of panic. I know now to give Geese their space. a lot of space at that. freaking feathered bastards :|

Exhibit A: AFLAC!

Agreed! Lesson learned, be careful next time OP..

Meanwhile, an elderly woman with a bag full of bread and geese shaped voodoo dolls was sitting in her car waiting for you to leave her favorite park bench.

That was amazing

I keep up coming up with sinister stories on my head explaining the goose oodoo dolls. like the bread is just to fatten up the Geese in time for Xmas. I mean seriously, all those carbs! (*whispers* fois grais)

yes they are.

I was bit as a child by a goose when it decided my kiddie pool was his. What did this teach me? Geese are winged cucks.

I was bit by a geese twice as a kid. I'm no longer terrified of them, but I do like to keep my distance..

Yeah, geese are not friendly creatures OP! Always prepare yourself with a loud object that'll make those winged cock gobblers go away.

Oh yeah, geese are terrible. Last spring I had some constantly come after me and I couldn't figure out why. Then I discovered they were trying to nest in a garden I walked past every day. And sometimes geese would come after me for no reason. They suck.

Fun fact: The Romans used geese as "guard dogs" for some of their treasuries. Why? Because they're flying assholes. (And because they'll sound an alarm no matter how much steak you try to throw at them).

Birds of a feather attack op together

Toss some bread at them, they are nice after that hoping for more.

Until you run out of bread to give them.. Then they turn into jerks looking for blood.