Work: Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of... - FML

By Infadel - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

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Season finale

And probably giggling

Basic Instinct

By taylortotscx - United States - Ocala

Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML

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By ants9omarching - United States

Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

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By lovehurts - United States - New Baltimore

Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML

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By This_girll - United States - Ridgewood

Classy guy.

Today, my boyfriend of a year went to a wedding. He didn't invite me, he took his ex instead. I saw it all on Instagram. FML

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By BarCrush

"friend"

Today, and for the past two months, I've been going to the bar with my friends quite regularly because I have a massive crush on the cute bartender. Being quite shy, I asked my friend if he could be my wingman so I could finally talk to her properly. He took her home. FML

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By notthatkinkyanyway - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

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By Fartfail - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

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By motherdearest - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself in the face with the ball 3 times, fell flat on my face against the court, and later had an asthma attack with no inhaler in sight. We lost the game. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML

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By obsceene - United States

Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML

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By eleonor - France

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

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By HousekeeperNoMore - United States

Today, after being a stay-at-home mom and picking up after my kids for the past 15 years, I got a job rejection letter saying I wasn't qualified. It was a housekeeping position. FML

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By sigh - United States

Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML

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By HeSaysImNoBeard - United States

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

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By bleh - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML

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By jl_word - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

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By ljjprchf - Australia

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

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By Andiii - United States

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML

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By maria lucia - 5/4/2021 21:30

Weird kid

Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2020 04:02 - United States - Akron

Nice guy DESTROYED by FACTS and LOGIC

Today, after a year and a half, I finally cut things off with my ex completely because I was starting to have feelings for someone else. Right after I cut my ex off, the other girl that I liked cut things off with me, and threw my ass in the friendzone. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML

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By amf - United States

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

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By OPforonepiece - Netherlands - Delft

Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/1/2021 20:01

Parting gift

Today, the girl who lived downstairs and who was also sleeping with my guy moved out. She left a stack of my mail she had been taking at my door. FML

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By heathenhaha - Singapore - Singapore

Done for

Today, I became the center of attraction of my office floor after sending my resumé to my work Whatsapp group, asking them to share with their friends for job openings. My VP is owner of the group. FML

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By gutav indogop - Switzerland

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

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By Birthday Surprise - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

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By howtobesingle - Norway - Oslo

Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I spent a hundred dollars on new "business casual" clothes and took two hours to get ready for my interview with a government agency. My interviewer was blind. FML

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By Allison Arsenault - 7/6/2020 08:08

Cheap-ass perv!

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years thinks that it is too expensive to get married, go on vacations, concerts, etc., but spends $100+/month on Hentai. FML

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By meow

Today, I found out my boss hired literally the only person in this town who is an ex-boyfriend. I also work with my current boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - Qatar - Doha

Today, my boss's incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

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By Anonymous

The Outsider

Today, I realized I am ‘that person’ in the group when I was only added to the group chat 6 weeks after it was created. I don’t really see a point in trying to chime in to the conversation at this point, but leaving the group seems a bit dramatic. FML

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Top comments

By DragonDude | 24

#6016089 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:26

Well, suit up anyway.

By cailey1234567890 | 24

#6016091 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:26

Oh geez...
I could definitely see how you would make that mistake if you were in a hurry, but they don't exactly feel the same....

COMMENTS

By fatkidfalling | 11

#6016088 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:26

At least your face is dry now :)

Reply

football98_fml | 20

#6016109 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:50

At least you washed your face before wiping it

Reply

jerryj | 27

#6016147 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 11:37

Probably face was wet again from tears after realizing what he did :(

Reply

jackel_love | 14

#6016179 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 12:30

I'm just not understanding how OP didn't realize it wasn't a towel... I thought suit jackets and towels have two different textures.

Reply

Hiimhaileypotter | 52

#6016200 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 13:22

Maybe OP has fancy towels. Lol

Reply

hamzor | 5

#6016496 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 19:24

Or OP had a suit jacket made out of towel material, extra fancy!

By DragonDude | 24

#6016089 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:26

Well, suit up anyway.

Reply

boating_guy | 33

#6016319 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 16:37

Or go buy a new suit at a secondhand store!
Anyone else think of My Cousin Vinny when they read this?

Reply

MissSatan | 16

#6017378 - Thursday 24 July 2014 12:32

Wearing the suit anyway should only go to show how eager you are to work for them :)

By PassiveAggresive | 12

#6016090 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:26

Aw man that sucks! Hopefully you were able to dry it with a blow dryer... or perhaps the interviewer didn't notice!

Reply

mysadlyfe | 9

#6016103 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:45

he probably owns more than one suit

Reply

Monkey_language | 15

#6016108 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:50

#12: Well maybe not, as he specifies just the jacket. Why not put pants, shirt and jacket on one hanger? Why specifically the jacket? My take is he doesn't work a job where he needs a suit frequently so he owns only one "decent one". So he is fucked indeed.

Reply

MzZombicidal | 36

#6016126 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 10:33

#16, OP doesn't work a job at all. As you can see he said "after months of unemployment"

Reply

NinjaDitto623 | 14

#6016130 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 10:51

#12, Probably not, considering that this is an FML.

By cailey1234567890 | 24

#6016091 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:26

Oh geez...
I could definitely see how you would make that mistake if you were in a hurry, but they don't exactly feel the same....

By sexyboi1985 | 27

#6016092 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:27

Well, may be you can wear that towel for your interview !

By LifeMD | 14

#6016093 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:27

There are still lots of ways to look professional without a suit jacket. Good luck!

By adnanrm18 | 12

#6016094 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:28

Well damn son. FYL bro!

Reply

MisterEx | 28

#6016124 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 10:27

#7 we really need you to specify the type of relationship you have with OP.

By Vagitarian1 | 10

#6016095 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:29

Time to throw in the towel?

By Earths_Venus | 25

#6016098 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:37

I'm sure the interviewer won't be too paste off. Brush yourself off and suit up!

Reply

singer0421 | 32

#6017126 - Thursday 24 July 2014 5:57

Paste off

By swiftous | 7

#6016099 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:37

Never really felt a similarity between a suit and a towel..