Miscellaneous: Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why...

By ceedee - 24/01/2010 02:14 - United States

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 314

You deserved it 25 402

Miscellaneous

You tried

Mama's boy

Freud intensifies

Life is unfair…

By Anonymous - 01/11/2020 07:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I was caught up in an armed robbery and after talking to the cops, my boss cut my pay for being 2 hours late. After I trudged home and told my parents, they are now forcing me to sleep in a tent in the garden, just in case the robber gave me COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 78

By summerbabe77 - 22/07/2012 03:58 - United States - Medford

Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 917

You deserved it 2 945

By Oriianna Raiinbow - 23/10/2010 06:07 - United States

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 717

You deserved it 4 544

By BoredRunner42 - 07/09/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 535

You deserved it 6 556

By bobjope - 28/02/2015 04:14

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 155

You deserved it 2 726

By Anonymous - 17/02/2015 17:42

Today, I've been freezing in my office for days at work. When I finally complained about it to a coworker, she led me into my office, said, "Let me show you something," then pointed out the thermostat I'd never noticed was even there and turned it up with a pitying look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 592

You deserved it 26 600

By NoScrubs - 31/10/2014 05:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 392

You deserved it 3 489

By sounds good mom - 14/06/2016 15:23 - United States - Katy

Today, my mom took away my car, phone, dog, laptop and college fund because I told her she lets me down sometimes. I'm moving to Arizona for college in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 041

You deserved it 2 541

Done for

By heathenhaha - 10/02/2017 20:21 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I became the center of attraction of my office floor after sending my resumé to my work Whatsapp group, asking them to share with their friends for job openings. My VP is owner of the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 684

You deserved it 5 945

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 719

You deserved it 59 834

By ckatia - 30/08/2016 09:29 - France - Paris

Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in front of my house, so I went up to it. To my delight it didn’t move, so I bent down to stroke it. Wrong call, it was a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 711

You deserved it 2 199

By Anonymous - 03/04/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text telling me to turn the radio on to a certain station. When I did, there was a talk show on, and the host was ranting about how important it is for women to control themselves and not be emotional. My boyfriend continued texting me, asking if I was listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 083

You deserved it 14 780

Very bad idea

By Yoir mom - 16/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 489

By stardad - 22/07/2019 15:02 - United States

Today, my ex purposely taught our kids to call all the Star Wars characters by Star Trek names. I’m not sure what bothers me more, the fact that she did it, or the fact that it makes me utterly insane when they say them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 355

By diddlebuag - 27/05/2011 22:09 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 954

You deserved it 6 228

By Biologyfacepalm - 03/03/2014 19:58 - United States

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 633

You deserved it 4 901

By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 782

You deserved it 2 683

By BilletsDoudous - 15/01/2015 06:51 - France

Today, I'm a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting guy of about 30 gets on board with two huge bags. Worried, I keep an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 361

You deserved it 3 371

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 619

You deserved it 4 079

By LonnyLonnikins - 09/04/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 336

You deserved it 39 966

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 18:15

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 057

You deserved it 2 631

By Travellingluck - 20/10/2017 16:12

Today, after a week of severe gastroenteritis that required a hospital stay, I was finally feeling well enough to go in the pool at our holiday resort. My fiance slipped on the edge of the pool and we're back in the hospital. Happy vacation! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 640

You deserved it 248

Constant flow

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 20:01

Today, my granny called me to, "Come change me please, I just peed." I interrupted what I was doing, walked over to her bed, pulled down her covers and was just about to go for the pad when she said, "Actually... I'm still peeing. Come back in a couple of minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 111

By wtfman101 - 28/08/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 940

You deserved it 2 700

Defeated

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 23:08

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 5 427

By Anonymous - 06/11/2014 12:15 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 663

You deserved it 4 223

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 04:00

Today, my wife read a Facebook article about how oral sex can lead to mouth and/or throat infections, and is now avoiding all forms of sex, in case my penis happens to give her the bubonic plague. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 209

Supportive

By bopbop - 20/05/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 974

You deserved it 4 347

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 765

You deserved it 37 346

Quickfire round

By Driri - 31/07/2021 08:00

Today, I had a panel job interview with 3 people. My nerves got the best of me, especially when they asked me about my weaknesses. I gave them an answer, but they kept bombarding me with additional follow-up questions that I couldn’t think of the answers to. It got so bad, I was reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 101

The scientific method

By really - 21/06/2012 05:30 - United States - Bonney Lake

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 715

You deserved it 4 808

By dazed and confused - 17/12/2013 01:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, I got kicked out of my band by the guy who quit two weeks ago. The bad part? Everyone else agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 713

You deserved it 4 314

By anonymous - 02/07/2013 21:08 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 506

You deserved it 3 181

By Anonymous - 13/08/2015 04:39 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 405

You deserved it 5 729

By appleville - 10/02/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, a customer at one of my tables left his phone number and a smiley face on the credit card slip. I was completely flattered until I looked at the bottom of the slip and realized that he had left me a $0.26 tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 528

You deserved it 3 066

By wow - 12/12/2011 01:37 - United States

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 140

You deserved it 4 501

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 13:17 - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice and we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 589

You deserved it 3 675

By Typidiot - 25/10/2017 01:37

Today, I spent ages writing a draft press release as part of a copywriting job application. I worked really hard and read it through several times before submitting. They emailed me to point out that I'd misspelled the name of the company. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 2 584

By Anonymous - 02/11/2015 19:05 - United States - Rogers

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 933

You deserved it 4 182

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 246

You deserved it 5 220

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Tedet 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:33

Why do I get the feeling you decided to stop in the middle of a football match to ponder this?

ohheykiwi 2

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 10:24

What do you mean what's the Meaning of Life? 42. Duh.

infiniti_G 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:29

FIRST

tekcor 2

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:30

No man, last.

mushoo_fml 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:49

@First: Actually, second. OP was first. @All others: sorry for feeding the troll.

TheLetterZero 7

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 15:30

OP isn't first. Try looking at the "#1" beside the display picture. This isn't a forum.

bitched 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 17:47

i alredy figured it oit, there is no meaning

greenltrn2003 0

Send a private message

Monday 25 January 2010 2:59

life isnt about finding out what it means just find out what it means to you either way this is funny as fuck to me...

NoWayLady 13

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 March 2010 12:26

no one care if ur first second or third ffs

ilovefatcats 12

Send a private message

Sunday 4 April 2010 21:45

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! immediate favorite

fuzzywazzy012 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 July 2010 0:22

2- win.lol... Screw anti -flood, imma beat it with the foot ball op got hit with

ferrettamer 6

Send a private message

Thursday 9 September 2010 3:04

this isn't a fml...

Shaebug12 0

Send a private message

Saturday 27 November 2010 3:25

this is stupid! 12,000 people said they deserved it! ugh ppl!!!

zandermander 1

Send a private message

Sunday 5 June 2011 4:19

fag

JoshTheMaggot 8

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:31

dude watch Fight Club and you will understand the meaning of life. and fyl. and to #1 ure a douche. being first is cool but atleast also write something relative to the post.

infiniti_G 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:36

SORRY HAD TO DO IT FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT GET ALL PISSY LOL  OP YOURE FUCKIN WEIRD DUDE AND BECAUSE OF THAT FYL

JoshTheMaggot 8

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 10:39

no dude I don't care if you write first but atleast wrote something else. maybe something about the post.

nnero0 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 18:21

sorry to dissapoint u... being first is not cool, its stupid that people get excited over that!

fuzzywazzy012 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 July 2010 0:24

15, youre hott:)

abnormalbird 11

Send a private message

Wednesday 2 April 2014 5:38

There is always that one dense motherfucker and this girl here is it.

CapnAlex 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:32

So? You got hit with a ball, boo-hoo.

chih 0

Send a private message

Thursday 28 January 2010 5:40

I agree.

juliahockey 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 20 April 2011 1:16

meaning of life = 42

Lichinamo 33

Send a private message

Monday 19 December 2011 0:02

THIS.Once you pass 42,you've lived ;)

Tedet 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:33

Why do I get the feeling you decided to stop in the middle of a football match to ponder this?

55isalive 1

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 18:23

I was just thinking that the football field is no place to b doing any thinking

KarelessKitten 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:34

who the fuck are you? Charlie Brown? i call fake.

whataloadofbull 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 10:05

Yeah dude, I saw that one in the IHT before, fucker.

IHateNoobz 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 15:35

@KarressKitten Nice tattoo and OP STFU, get laid, and make me a Sammich

FrecklesInside 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 19:27

This. You made me laugh. Charlie Brown... :)

ziqi92 0

Send a private message

Monday 25 January 2010 1:54

AHAHAHAHAHA Charlie Brown XD epic win of a comment!

walkmywaynot 0

Send a private message

Thursday 29 July 2010 8:38

Comment moderated. L

anela_fml 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:36

lol it's a wake up call sayin just be happy

chaos753159 4

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:49

no its a sign that he should play football

xxprettydisaster 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:37

oh this happened to me except i was think about not falling since im a flyer and well the football disnt help at all...

L4Dgirl00 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:51

nice. I suggest not going into deep thought where people are playing football

HamsteronA 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 10:16

it's called a header.

x805xUnknown 6

Send a private message

Sunday 24 January 2010 10:19

I often ponder that meaning of life during sporting events aswell. Fyl...

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 51

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 30

Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 90

Add a comment - Reply to : #

Top comments

Comments