Love: Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally...

By hyper12332 - Australia

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69976

You deserved it

31315

Favorite

Love

Leave us alone

Extreme late fees

So you had a bad day…

By thechad_144 - United States

Today, at an elementary school a girl showed me her grandma's obituary in the paper and started crying. To stop her from crying I made things out of the rest of the paper, later she asked me where her grandma's obituary was. I accidentally made it into a hat, with lots of tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11072

You deserved it

52977

Favorite

By fallsdownplenty45 - Taiwan

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72769

You deserved it

6698

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/6/2020 05:05

Quite the catch

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me with more guys than I can count on one hand. I'm not sure what's worse, realizing this only after she's moved in, realizing two of the guys were my close friends, or realizing I'd given up my dream career for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2730

You deserved it

270

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Dover

Today, I was helping my Grandfather to sort through tubs and bins after cleaning out his attic, and I had to move a 50lb bin downstairs. That's when the dog thought it would be funny to block the top of the stairs as I was going down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12600

You deserved it

983

Favorite

By Cracky - United States - Baltimore

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33332

You deserved it

1981

Favorite

By stressedoutsquaddie - United Kingdom - York

Today, while away on training with the army, my housemates rang me to tell me some news. They had found a perfect house for next year and they had put an offer on it. The only problem? There are 5 of us and the house is for 4. Guess who hasn't been included. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19647

You deserved it

1286

Favorite

By pmek - Australia - Collingwood

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32332

You deserved it

3251

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30040

You deserved it

2980

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29745

You deserved it

2246

Favorite

By not cool - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54701

You deserved it

3166

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/5/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Happy Birthday

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks

816

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

11597

You deserved it

45369

Favorite

By Perdedor - United States

Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I bought a $1500 Chanel bag. Two hours later he called me in to tell me he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17868

You deserved it

44797

Favorite

By areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31381

You deserved it

6659

Favorite

By ThatsNotRight - United States

Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30747

You deserved it

4406

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I called up Verizon Wireless to "complain" about my phone service. I really had nothing to complain about, I was just that lonely that I wanted someone to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18082

You deserved it

30754

Favorite

By anon - Australia - Glenfield

Today, my boyfriend was so drunk at a New Years party that he approached me and asked me who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21714

You deserved it

1904

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Honolulu

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28856

You deserved it

2672

Favorite

By Boyufd

Paaaaaaarty!

Today, it's my birthday. I'd planned an outside party in my backyard, and I'd invited all of my friends. Only 2 of them showed up. It also rained today, even though it wasn't supposed to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1638

You deserved it

164

Favorite

By HotACE

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36849

You deserved it

22653

Favorite

By assumed

Today, during a class, I noticed some racist statements and symbols on a table. While erasing them, I bent down to pick up my dropped pencil. I look back up to see a teacher, and got a suspension. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37490

You deserved it

3718

Favorite

By el_Jeffe_D - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14476

You deserved it

2906

Favorite

By Kebabjoon - Spain

Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28527

You deserved it

4861

Favorite

By RAZR MeowMix - 30/1/2021 21:30

Kids these days…

Today, my youngest started playing Fortnite. My oldest has been playing competitively for a couple of years. My youngest is now addicted and needs a new computer to run it at max settings. I hate Fortnite. FML

I agree, your life sucks

633

You deserved it

426

Favorite

By figures - United States

Today, I found out I've been misspelling my middle name for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19367

You deserved it

40462

Favorite

By sarcastic_centipede - 9/6/2021 06:02

Demonic

Today, my mom told me to take the trash out. I started to, but then I saw that the trash can had been rolled out to the curb, so I went to my room to put on shoes. My mom apparently took this as me deciding not to take the trash out, as she not only yelled at me, but growled and hissed as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

765

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42047

You deserved it

5986

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54255

You deserved it

5198

Favorite

By lopsided - United States

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to buy a bra. A woman sized me and then gave me a bra to try on in the fitting room. To my pleasure, it seemed to fit well. The woman who had sized me came in to check on me and replied, "Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can be symmetrical." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29901

You deserved it

2739

Favorite

By meep - United States

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40675

You deserved it

12306

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Eugene

Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15825

You deserved it

1260

Favorite

By Kristina - United States

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48919

You deserved it

6854

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - La Grande

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38127

You deserved it

2765

Favorite

By dtack2tack - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28619

You deserved it

3795

Favorite

By UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh - Kenya

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31648

You deserved it

2301

Favorite

By Asdf649 - Canada - Burlington

Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30401

You deserved it

2631

Favorite

By bgierczak2 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27713

You deserved it

1690

Favorite

By Addigirl - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I ordered pick-up from a restaurant I really like. It was pouring, so instead of taking the long way across the pedestrian walk, I ran through a grass-covered area and tripped on tree roots. I was right in front of the restaurant, so everybody saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5496

You deserved it

1411

Favorite

By facepalm - United States

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31020

You deserved it

4319

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Bellingham

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7540

You deserved it

58894

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By wtfuckery | 0

#154757 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:59

Oh man, that sucks...for both of you, but for her, mostly. Damn!

By tehhotness | 0

#154826 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:15

did you pull your shirt over your head and run around doing the classic soccer airplane celebration?

COMMENTS

By wtfuckery | 0

#154757 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:59

Oh man, that sucks...for both of you, but for her, mostly. Damn!

noah1213 | 0

#988501 - Wednesday 5 May 2010 5:03

today a guy I liked kicked a soccer ball into my face. in an attempt to help me up he kicked again......... into my face..FML

phreshboi | 1

#989225 - Saturday 8 May 2010 1:18

man you must really suck at soccer

fmylife1133249 | 1

#1038143 - Monday 21 June 2010 17:22

or really good

Technocidal | 0

#1349376 - Saturday 4 September 2010 9:29

cockblocked by a soccer ball

changesinme | 0

#1507908 - Wednesday 6 October 2010 18:05

look at the bright side, she got hit by your balls instead of another dude's

By shehzeenahmed | 0

#154762 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:00

damn that sucks for her more than for you

By Je_mapelle | 0

#154768 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:02

HAHAHAHA
bad coordination :P

By Dutchie2010 | 0

#154781 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:05

Hahaha this one's my favorite!!!!

Sucks for you though...

By Shadic | 0

#154786 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:06

How would you do that the second time accidentally? Good job with the coordination there.

ScottieZ | 0

#3785923 - Sunday 25 December 2011 11:09

You look like Justin Bieber's dad.

By sinbadmac | 0

#154788 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:06

roflmfao

By were_giraffe | 2

#154794 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:07

don't feel too bad
if she's a serious soccer player she'll be use to getting hit with the ball.

just give her a flower or something

hellokittywhore | 0

#983132 - Thursday 22 April 2010 0:11

or is she's a serious whore shell be used to balls hitting her in the face. lol

By 903texmom1 | 0

#154799 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:08

score!!!

By lazorzpewpew | 0

#154800 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:09

Doubly owned... Excellent! :D

By deaditegirl | 0

#154803 - Wednesday 29 April 2009 23:09

Suck less.