Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program... - FML

By Goosey - 12/12/2009 17:26 - United States

Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML

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Time don't heal nothing

Whatthefuckaburger

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By ohno - 10/3/2010 11:05 - United States

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

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By Anonymous - 12/8/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

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By coffee - 22/8/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML

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By ninjawhat1337 - 25/5/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

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By whoneedsdumbcars - 14/8/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

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By a7xforever - 14/9/2010 08:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

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By Nosexever? - 25/10/2018 13:30

Today, my husband started a new job as an OTR truck driver. He was assigned one week of home time each month, which happens to be the same exact week my period comes every month. FML

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By spinster - 16/9/2015 02:10 - United States - Lubbock

Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML

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By arthur - 19/11/2011 08:40 - New Zealand

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

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By walkingdictionary - 18/1/2013 02:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

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By AlexK - 18/6/2009 23:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

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By JulieKid - 4/5/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/7/2016 01:02 - United States - Mio

Today, I woke up in the hospital after my sister saved me from "hanging" myself. In reality, my sister choked me because I ate her last chicken nugget. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/3/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

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By loving grandaughter - 27/11/2010 11:28 - United States

Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

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By Anonymous - 18/7/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working on all week. About an hour after I finished, a water company truck pulled into my driveway. They told me they would have to take down my fence to make repairs on a water pipe. FML

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By crayons128 - 24/1/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

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By fucking hell my eyes burn - 23/5/2014 22:46 - Germany

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

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By Clauric - 24/3/2010 12:11 - Ireland

Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML

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By John - 30/6/2012 05:08 - United States - Watertown

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

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By Peepants - 3/3/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

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By augiedd - 5/3/2014 02:46 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/7/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that I'm not my girlfriend's only boyfriend. The other guy sells shoes on Facebook. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/1/2011 00:51 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me to stuff my bra before going to a party with him and his friends because he didn't want to be embarrassed. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/12/2010 14:50 - Egypt

Today, I was working on a 12-page report. After 5 hours on it, I go over to YouTube to change background music. My boss decides to pick this time to walk by, look at my screen, and grunt "hard at work, huh?" FML

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By Anonymous - 28/10/2010 03:27 - United States

Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML

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By kjcarey123 - 15/7/2009 17:24 - United States

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

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By driverboy - 31/12/2015 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

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By painful - 24/7/2011 08:55 - Norway

Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML

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By - 26/4/2019 18:00

Today, in an effort to spice up our love life, I greeted my husband at the front door in lingerie and stilettos. He took one look at me and asked if I wanted him to shovel the driveway before it snowed again. FML

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By Isabelle18 - 19/7/2009 14:14 - Canada

Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML

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By stixx - 25/10/2009 17:18 - United States

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

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By Alaska - 29/10/2015 03:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML

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By lilzoot - 8/2/2009 03:19 - United States

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

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By saywhat - 26/11/2010 03:28 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML

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By AvocadoPurse - 31/12/2019 16:00

Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/1/2011 23:00 - United States

Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML

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By Anonyme - 29/5/2012 10:19

Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/3/2015 16:11 - United States - Janesville

Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving test. I soon realized something was seriously wrong. Turned out his wife left him last night, and he'd been drinking the pain away all morning. He ended up rear-ending another car, and now I have to reschedule my test. FML

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Top comments

By tabloidscully | 0

#717042 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:17

As a BV alum, reading this made me proud--"Tiger TV" is notorious for choosing the worst moments to showcase people!

Tigers Class of 2003

By RyeBreadBoy | 0

#717070 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:30

What's a goose laugh? Last time I checked, geese don't laugh.

Comments

By neonokku | 0

#717029 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:10

btw i was first biggest accomplishment ever

Reply

soccer060 | 0

#836746 - Tuesday 9 February 2010 3:59

at least your school has a tv

Reply

iLoveTeraaa | 0

#981480 - Sunday 18 April 2010 20:32

lmaooooooo I used to have a gf with a really loud weird laugh

Reply

ReyEr9412 | 0

#982037 - Tuesday 20 April 2010 2:33

HONK HONK HONK

Reply

ElMarkino | 0

#986398 - Thursday 29 April 2010 3:23

holy shit i cant stop laughing

By soccer4ever7 | 0

#717033 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:12

lmfao fyl

Reply

skyttlz | 32

#1078032 - Sunday 11 July 2010 8:08

Fail

By soccer4ever7 | 0

#717034 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:14

lmao

By tabloidscully | 0

#717042 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:17

As a BV alum, reading this made me proud--"Tiger TV" is notorious for choosing the worst moments to showcase people!

Tigers Class of 2003

By powersmoke | 0

#717051 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:20

AFLACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

By musicislife1995_fml | 0

#717065 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:28

lol, laugh it off :) it's better

By RyeBreadBoy | 0

#717070 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:30

What's a goose laugh? Last time I checked, geese don't laugh.

Reply

Chigagigaroo | 0

#3098807 - Saturday 13 August 2011 6:46

OP probably meant that their laugh sounded like a goose honking.

By missmarley93 | 1

#717078 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:34

lmao! aww, fyl...the slow motion thing is pretty mean thoughh. haha but funny, im sorry.

By me199 | 0

#717091 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:42

no one at your school has heard you laugh before?

By talk_fml | 0

#717111 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:52

what school??