Miscellaneous: Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program... - FML

By Goosey - United States

Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML

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Mother of the year

Season finale

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

By leem - Belgium - Zoersel

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

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By xxruby - United States - Katy

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

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By ciotter - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

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By tacoboy27 - United States

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

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By Teylot - Canada

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

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By Infested Girlfriend - 30/4/2020 05:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Sharing is caring

Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

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By TingBarter - United States

Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Cortland

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

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By kimmybr - United States

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

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By drummerboy - United States

Today, I practiced my drum playing in the garage instead of my room out of consideration for my neighbors. Guess the consideration wasn't mutual, because one of my neighbors just shot a hole in one of my drums with an air gun. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

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By Anonymous - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

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By anonymous - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

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By prego - Canada

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML

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By RensM - New Zealand

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Batesville

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

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By you're just creepy. - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML

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By birthday girl - United States - Toledo

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

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By HaedLei - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

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By alie - United States

Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

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By what did I do? - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

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By Anonymous - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

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By Nessa - United States - Pomona

Today, my mom got out a camcorder she's had a while. She said there were tapes of me when I was a child. The first tape I put in was a porno of her and her ex-boyfriend. FML

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By neverbeenkissed - United States

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

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By surprise - United States - Starkville

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

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By Jordid - United States

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Diego

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

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By Noname - Canada

Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney

Today, a classmate at college accused me of stalking her. All because I walked past her house. I was walking to the supermarket. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

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By stuff2710 - United States

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

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By Grossed out

Today, after giving a homeless guy some change, he offered to give me his bottle of cooking wine if I'd let him suck my toes. FML

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By gamerlaura - United Kingdom - Blaenau-ffestiniog

Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML

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Top comments

By tabloidscully | 0

#717042 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:17

As a BV alum, reading this made me proud--"Tiger TV" is notorious for choosing the worst moments to showcase people!

Tigers Class of 2003

By RyeBreadBoy | 0

#717070 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:30

What's a goose laugh? Last time I checked, geese don't laugh.

COMMENTS

By neonokku | 0

#717029 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:10

btw i was first biggest accomplishment ever

Reply

soccer060 | 0

#836746 - Tuesday 9 February 2010 3:59

at least your school has a tv

Reply

iLoveTeraaa | 0

#981480 - Sunday 18 April 2010 20:32

lmaooooooo I used to have a gf with a really loud weird laugh

Reply

ReyEr9412 | 0

#982037 - Tuesday 20 April 2010 2:33

HONK HONK HONK

Reply

ElMarkino | 0

#986398 - Thursday 29 April 2010 3:23

holy shit i cant stop laughing

By soccer4ever7 | 0

#717033 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:12

lmfao fyl

Reply

skyttlz | 32

#1078032 - Sunday 11 July 2010 8:08

Fail

By soccer4ever7 | 0

#717034 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:14

lmao

By tabloidscully | 0

#717042 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:17

As a BV alum, reading this made me proud--"Tiger TV" is notorious for choosing the worst moments to showcase people!

Tigers Class of 2003

By powersmoke | 0

#717051 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:20

AFLACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

By musicislife1995_fml | 0

#717065 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:28

lol, laugh it off :) it's better

By RyeBreadBoy | 0

#717070 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:30

What's a goose laugh? Last time I checked, geese don't laugh.

Reply

Chigagigaroo | 0

#3098807 - Saturday 13 August 2011 6:46

OP probably meant that their laugh sounded like a goose honking.

By missmarley93 | 1

#717078 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:34

lmao! aww, fyl...the slow motion thing is pretty mean thoughh. haha but funny, im sorry.

By me199 | 0

#717091 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:42

no one at your school has heard you laugh before?

By talk_fml | 0

#717111 - Saturday 12 December 2009 23:52

what school??