FML : Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely...

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Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By danggit3290 - / Sunday 3 May 2009 17:17 / United States

Intimacy

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Top comments

By instrumentals | 0

#165467 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:02

holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.

By dantheman931 | 0

#165479 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:04

YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.

Comments

By brodizzle | 0

#165463 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:02

hahaha

atomicJ | 0

#2095624 - Friday 18 February 2011 11:49

EPIC FAIL

shaubygal | 11

#3303429 - Saturday 17 September 2011 15:05

eewwwwwwww at the top it says OP is a girl awkkkwwarrdd

MrUnicorn | 3

#3474611 - Sunday 23 October 2011 5:01

Starcraft is to hand as Studies is to girlfriend. With a few exceptions.

YDIomg | 9

#3742724 - Saturday 17 December 2011 1:37

334, why is it awkward when it's a girl but not when it's a guy?

mauguster | 15

#3760399 - Tuesday 20 December 2011 10:05

Next time that happens look him/her in the eyes and finish like a boss

By shimmyya88 | 0

#165466 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:02

hahaha. sorry man, i guess close your door.

DeafChef | 0

#374955 - Tuesday 7 July 2009 8:12

#2: the OP is a woman,

Dear Poster,
why did you not just stop and pretend like you were asleep or lying down?
:s

danggit3290 | 0

#449805 - Sunday 2 August 2009 9:07

He thought I was texting, I am not allowed to text after 10... He still, to this day, had no idea what I was really doing. xD

Secret_Fire_King | 0

#815022 - Monday 1 February 2010 8:31

Thats kinda hot, OP, if you are really a chick.. Were you being to noisy?.. Or, did you use the pillow?..

I reckon you might have been noisy.. I mean, how often does your step-dad stand outside your room at night, watching for movement..

inSayne | 7

#989325 - Saturday 8 May 2010 6:15

holy crap! this is the only fml I have ever seen where the op posted something in the comment section. they never give us any consolation for our many questions!!! :O

2an1a | 4

#1095921 - Friday 16 July 2010 1:55

#298..so true

Azellia | 15

#5116090 - Monday 5 November 2012 1:54

Lucky OP that he didn't realize what you were actually doing! Way less awkward even if you did get in trouble for texting

By instrumentals | 0

#165467 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:02

holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.

teentee401 | 36

#6016234 - Wednesday 23 July 2014 14:34

As soon as I read "...with the door open, I voted YDI"

thatguynamedsky | 32

#6295729 - Tuesday 19 May 2015 23:22

i don't my dying dog will pant and pant at the door if i close it

By omglyktotally78 | 0

#165468 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:02

thats kinda creepy.....not gonna lie

By nesj | 0

#165472 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:03

gross... were you still stroking when you were looking at this figure??? YDI

never2late88 | 0

#1953704 - Tuesday 11 January 2011 6:47

if you look closely the op is a girl, which makes this more creepy....

EMTchic | 14

#4804499 - Sunday 12 August 2012 10:40

317- on the contrary, I think it would be even more creepy if op was a guy or if she was looking at a girl that whole time

By trackrunner525 | 0

#165474 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:03

rofl...thats hilarious...hope you learned your lesson

By mjsmclaren | 0

#165476 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:04

Your step dad watched was watching you jack it...I wonder what he went and did after that?

Amphysvena | 11

#369893 - Sunday 5 July 2009 11:26

probably tried to blind himself

brandonsdick | 0

#980086 - Thursday 15 April 2010 17:54

deff. a chick so jacking it means poking it..hopefully not with a closed fist..

By savasana | 0

#165477 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:04

that's why you close the door.

By ecilart | 0

#165478 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:04

ew, why would he stay there and stare back? D:

By dantheman931 | 0

#165479 - Sunday 3 May 2009 23:04

YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.