Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
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By
schwancy
| 2
That's unfair. Obviously you were making an attempt to save the child. People suck.
By
mama2b3
| 20
you were fired because you failed to do your job!? thats ridiculous!! you should sue your former employer! Gosh, not your damn fault that stupid toddler couldnt swim and granny ruined your rescue attempt...
COMMENTS
By
beastpanda
| 0
first?
Reply
GavinRoskamp
| 0
Yes, you're first. Now GTFO.
Reply
Ouch...that really sucks. I'm sorry, but maybe this will give you a chance to get a better job! Look on the bright side
Reply
guiltypleasure12
| 0
GTFO? get the fuck out.
I prefer GTL. gym tan laundry.
I prefer GTL. gym tan laundry.
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
10 is a jersey shore wannabe
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atticuz
| 2
you guise omg you guise don't even know where trolling originated from omg you guise
Reply
cyberpimp
| 4
'Guise?' WTF?
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omgimdabest
| 0
right 59? WTF is guise?? stupid bitch smh
Reply
unidentified_sta
| 5
"Smh"? What is that, suck my hanky?
Dude it is obvious, the brilliant poster is implying we are different "guises" for a single poster. Shit, it is over.
Dude it is obvious, the brilliant poster is implying we are different "guises" for a single poster. Shit, it is over.
Reply
bigredmonkeybutt
| 24
If you can't do the job you're worthless so why shouldn't you be fired? If the kid had drowned what would you tell the parents? Sorry I'm so out of shape I got a Charlie horse jumping into the water--won't happen again ok? YDI Get a job you're qualified for like cleaning restrooms at McDonalds.
Reply
katkev
| 5
the parents deserve it for not watching their kid!
Reply
Euphoric_boner
| 0
#79 YAY to your profile pic!!
Reply
sexy_chick_123
| 0
59 and 65 it means guys and 73 smh means shaking my head
Reply
DifferentSparkle
| 5
Very good point! If the parents were watching, the OP may have been better able to help the child.
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
79 boo profile pic
Reply
ugwmii
| 0
don't sweat it bro. you'll find a even crappier job. no doubt about it
Reply
joooeee
| 3
77 your leg can cramp up from too much recent exercise. I was lifeguarding after soccer practice once and I jumped in at the end of my shift to cool off and my calf cramped up like crazy
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guiltypleasure12
| 0
...not a jersey shore wannabe it was sarcasm my child.
Reply
youlikefishstix
| 0
my sisters dad is named charlie horse
Reply
nateb1tch
| 1
that is shit. natural sercumstancs shouldn't get you fired
Reply
Sweet I'm first! But I'm number 9....how the hell did that happen?
Reply
MadPercussion
| 0
omg all you guise are dumb if you dunno what guise means omg you guise
Reply
kosh_bl_k
| 0
#43, omg. you look just like my ex :)
By
schwancy
| 2
That's unfair. Obviously you were making an attempt to save the child. People suck.
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
agreed :| that really sux
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Are you kidding me? It's a major safety issue. If OP didn't either:
a) prepare for work by stretching to prevent cramps [knowing that the job requires sitting for long periods of time], or
b) keep moving through the pain until after rescuing a child,
then OP should not be a lifeguard.
a) prepare for work by stretching to prevent cramps [knowing that the job requires sitting for long periods of time], or
b) keep moving through the pain until after rescuing a child,
then OP should not be a lifeguard.
Reply
starile
| 19
I agree. That was a suckass "attempt". In times of emergency like that, you wouldn't want YOUR child to drown simply because a lifeguard charlie horsed. It's a life or death situation.
Reply
allen20
| 0
at least no one would be drownimg no more!
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allen2020
| 0
i agree with 44
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allen20
| 0
thanx for understanding 45
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allen2020
| 0
no problem 45
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allen20
| 0
so were are you from?
Reply
allen2020
| 0
los angeles and you?
Reply
allen20
| 0
omg me too!
Reply
allen2020
| 0
im gonna get banned for this fml :(
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Dare to dream, Allen.
Reply
musicmaniac925
| 0
r they the same Allen?
Reply
DEXter501
| 0
Wow, Allen20. If you're going to start talking to yourself on fml, you might as well be "clever" about it and create a more unique name. But then again, anyone who'd even consider starting an online conversation with themselves is already clearly stupid, so either way, you fail.
Reply
SOTYsNumber1Fan
| 0
63 fails
Reply
Bekll
| 30
#67, you fail for saying "more unique".
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squeak_awsum_kid
| 0
lol 67 u fail look at the names u dumb sh¡t one of the names is allen20 nd the other is allen2020 get ur facts rite before u start payin peeple out bitch
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TheWicked
| 4
No shit sherlock.
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Russian_Roulette
| 0
lol I thought it was just one Allen talking to themself
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starile
| 19
69: What the hell would have them say? "Uniquer"?
Reply
allen20
| 0
you will never know...
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
104: 69 is saying you don't need to qualify the word "unique." I was inclined to agree when I read that until I thought about the word "rare." So why not qualify "unique" that way?
Reply
LilaBear
| 1
unique and rare mean different things. With unique, you're either unique or you're not. You can't be "more" unique or "less" unique. With rarity you can. There are degrees of rarity. eg. If Animal A has 5000 left in the wild that's rare, but if Animal B has 600 left in the wild that's rarer.
Reply
crazyluvbug
| 8
"attempt" doesn't save a life! You are damn lucky that old woman was there, or you would have had to of lived the rest of your life knowing a child died because you got a fucking cramp. Then it would have been a REALLY fucked up FML.
By
titenite88
| 0
pwned by an old lady...ouch XD
By
xJC77x
| 0
That happened to me twice last week
Reply
starile
| 19
You're a terrible life guard and should be fired, too.
By
mama2b3
| 20
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
guiltypleasure12
| 0
I'm pretty sure she was giving her statement a dose of sarcasm
Reply
Freeze_fml
| 16
Yeah, some people never even learn how to swim.
Reply
mama2b3
| 20
wow i see sarcasm is lost on you ppl...
Reply
Jesta05
| 0
mama they're probs all Americans. all the comments b4 me fail
Reply
mama2b3
| 20
12 got it... I'll try to be more straight forward with you Ignorance...Stop Trolling, you're annoying. kthxbai :)
Reply
Freeze_fml
| 16
I caught the sarcasm, Aushat.
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ohthebloodygore
| 16
21, what does being American have to do with anything?
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Charlie+horse
Reply
TengoCojones
| 0
moron
Reply
ZleveL
| 0
21 wtf are you talking about? retarded anti-American is retarded
Reply
stitch_book
| 4
To everyone wondering about #21 (Jesta05):
I'm assuming #21 is either European or has some type of affiliation with its culture. Why? Because in most of Europe, it's "common knowledge" that Americans don't understand the concept of sarcasm.
Oh, Europeans ... your collective "common knowledge" makes for QUITE the intelligent conversation.
I'm assuming #21 is either European or has some type of affiliation with its culture. Why? Because in most of Europe, it's "common knowledge" that Americans don't understand the concept of sarcasm.
Oh, Europeans ... your collective "common knowledge" makes for QUITE the intelligent conversation.
Reply
Ali_Br_fml
| 33
for some reason, I read posts 8 & 11 in a sarcastic manner. I sensed a little hint of sarcasm in 8 & 11's posts... The ha & TSK sounded a bit sarcastic... they were probably being sarcastic based on your sarcasm...
Or they are that ignorant...
Or they are that ignorant...
Reply
stitch_book
| 4
@95:
Why yes I did; glad you noticed! :D
However, I'm a little disappointed in you. For all you analysis, you've failed to realize that my role in this is simply that of a proxy since neither generalizations are that of my own. In fact, BOTH generalizations are products of Europe. No? Not so? Shenanigans?! Australia doesn't have any sort of connection to the UK, you say? Because I'm pretty sure that, though "independent," Australia is still under British rule, and therefore has a DIRECT connection to Europe. Wait a minute ... didn't I say something like that earlier? Allow me to quote myself. "I'm assuming #21 is either European or has SOME TYPE OF AFFILIATION WITH ITS CULTURE."
With that said, knowing that he's in Australia doesn't equate to knowing he's always been there. Nice try, 95, but trying and achieving are two different things.
Why yes I did; glad you noticed! :D
However, I'm a little disappointed in you. For all you analysis, you've failed to realize that my role in this is simply that of a proxy since neither generalizations are that of my own. In fact, BOTH generalizations are products of Europe. No? Not so? Shenanigans?! Australia doesn't have any sort of connection to the UK, you say? Because I'm pretty sure that, though "independent," Australia is still under British rule, and therefore has a DIRECT connection to Europe. Wait a minute ... didn't I say something like that earlier? Allow me to quote myself. "I'm assuming #21 is either European or has SOME TYPE OF AFFILIATION WITH ITS CULTURE."
With that said, knowing that he's in Australia doesn't equate to knowing he's always been there. Nice try, 95, but trying and achieving are two different things.
Reply
nigahigafan
| 0
you know what, even if that is a joke or sarcasm, its stupid, not everyone is stupid americans or europeans. I beleive if a person is stupid its from who they were born not where!
Reply
stitch_book
| 4
okay you're not an idiot, i see that. but omfg ... ... ... please PLEEEEAAASE read my post again and tell me that you can see the point i'm trying to make. no joke, please read it again.
By
j4ym4n
| 2
chalie horse?
Reply
MrsUchiha
| 0
It's like a really bad leg cramp.
When I get them my leg hurts like hell, it's almost like breaking your leg. And sometimes even after you eat the pain and stretch your leg out it'll still hurt a few days.
When I get them my leg hurts like hell, it's almost like breaking your leg. And sometimes even after you eat the pain and stretch your leg out it'll still hurt a few days.
Reply
styphon
| 5
nothing compared to breaking your leg. the intense pain only lasts less than a minute
also a lifeguard or any emergency staff should "wall thru it" during a real emergency, like a toddler drowning
also a lifeguard or any emergency staff should "wall thru it" during a real emergency, like a toddler drowning
Reply
somebodyshy
| 0
The lifeguard was not risking further injury by not going on with the rescue. They were already in the water, which is not deep (assuming toddlers don't swim in the diving well), and were experiencing pain, not danger. They should indeed have just sucked it up and gotten the kid. If you're entrusted with the safety of others, you need to put their needs first. Unless the lifeguard was knocked out cold, they should have been saving the kid. At least somebody did.
By
hashmita
| 0
What is a Charlie Horse?
Reply
Mirorbo
| 26
Bravo, Mr. Moderator!~
Reply
atticuz
| 2
what is smart ass?
Reply
stitch_book
| 4
what is ... going on here?
Reply
ThereIsNoFork
| 0
What is- COMBO BREAKER
Reply
nigahigafan
| 0
71 wow i am astounded with your stupidity, you are merely trying to weasel your way out of a situation, also it is true tha fact that your fighting fire with fire. this is wrong. obviously americans are not bad or stupid but neither is europe so suck it up. im a brit and ive never thougjt that americans or europeans are stupid or retarded for your information
Reply
stitch_book
| 4
@115:
all right listen here blind-eye mcgee, first off you've chained the wrong post, which means your opinion is now worthless since it has no relevance. i believe that's called a FAIL on your part.
second of all, and for the sake of ending this argument, let's pretend your post #115 wasn't misplaced. now what? well, your post would still be wrong, seeing as how i'm not cowering from anything. i believe that too is called a FAIL on your part.
and finally, i agree with your post #114. there! I F*CKING SAID IT! why do i say it so bluntly? because you apparently couldn't tell that my post #70 was using sarcasm to make the exact same point as your post #114! and yes, not EVERY brit thinks americans don't understand sarcasm, but enough of them do that it's practically become a stereotype there. or in other words, a GENERALIZATION. no? bullshit. as genuinely welcoming as your people are, countless are just as genuinely confused to see us laugh at or deal out sarcasm. i regret not ever having the chance to meet you ... someone who wouldn't have made that presumption. it probably would have been fun hanging out with you ... assuming you're as sarcastic as i am.
all right listen here blind-eye mcgee, first off you've chained the wrong post, which means your opinion is now worthless since it has no relevance. i believe that's called a FAIL on your part.
second of all, and for the sake of ending this argument, let's pretend your post #115 wasn't misplaced. now what? well, your post would still be wrong, seeing as how i'm not cowering from anything. i believe that too is called a FAIL on your part.
and finally, i agree with your post #114. there! I F*CKING SAID IT! why do i say it so bluntly? because you apparently couldn't tell that my post #70 was using sarcasm to make the exact same point as your post #114! and yes, not EVERY brit thinks americans don't understand sarcasm, but enough of them do that it's practically become a stereotype there. or in other words, a GENERALIZATION. no? bullshit. as genuinely welcoming as your people are, countless are just as genuinely confused to see us laugh at or deal out sarcasm. i regret not ever having the chance to meet you ... someone who wouldn't have made that presumption. it probably would have been fun hanging out with you ... assuming you're as sarcastic as i am.
Reply
H1DDEN
| 0
You are an idiot for typing all of that shit that most people probably didn't finish reading.
Reply
stitch_book
| 4
@119:
no way! really?! awwww ... maybe i should have specifically addressed it to post #115. oh wait ... i did! you bright, flaming failure.
p.s.
you're an idiot for not simply posting "tl;dr"
no way! really?! awwww ... maybe i should have specifically addressed it to post #115. oh wait ... i did! you bright, flaming failure.
p.s.
you're an idiot for not simply posting "tl;dr"
By
Jessi_the_sexii
| 0
I wonder how old she was
By
eraintimexD
| 0
whats a charlie horse? i dont get it
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Charlie+horse
Reply
Freeze_fml
| 16
Perez Hilton is a related search of "FMyLife" on Bing.
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Just curious, why do you like Bing (other than for image searches)? I'm not very familiar with it.
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ohSNAPyall
| 26
Haha, I like Freeze's answer.
FYI Facebook search uses Bing.
FYI Facebook search uses Bing.
Reply
ElMundio87
| 0
lol @ 49
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ktbird
| 0
Microsoft the epitome of good?
L
O
L
L
O
L
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Chocolate_Chunk
| 2
bad troll is bad
By
TengoCojones
| 0
I don't think you should use sarcasm in text.. because
1. you'll be misunderstood
2. you'll look like an idiot
and 3. sarcasm is for losers :P
1. you'll be misunderstood
2. you'll look like an idiot
and 3. sarcasm is for losers :P