By Anonymous - United States - Oklahoma City Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML I agree, your life sucks 23552 You deserved it 10974 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hobbled - United States Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML I agree, your life sucks 38140 You deserved it 1992 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kit2019 - United States Today, I got overly excited because someone texted me, but then realized that moments before, I had sent myself a message. FML I agree, your life sucks 1274 You deserved it 378 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 42200 You deserved it 11264 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jerry Such a Jerry thing to do... Today, I woke up and realized I didn't start a fire last night. I live in Alaska and our winter nights can reach -30 below zero. My fish are dead, my plasma television won't turn on, and the cat has frostbite. FML I agree, your life sucks 4502 You deserved it 3189 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML I agree, your life sucks 35552 You deserved it 18338 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Covington Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML I agree, your life sucks 28799 You deserved it 2505 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By qhorin halflung Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML I agree, your life sucks 31347 You deserved it 2156 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Lewes Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML I agree, your life sucks 27264 You deserved it 2636 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ChangMu - United States - Des Moines Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 39315 You deserved it 7460 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alopez1994 Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML I agree, your life sucks 35977 You deserved it 13758 198 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Baltimore Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML I agree, your life sucks 45483 You deserved it 3180 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/6/2020 17:00 Furry Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 2430 You deserved it 138 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By not getting any anymore - United States Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 83250 You deserved it 7808 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Mahwah Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML I agree, your life sucks 33287 You deserved it 6587 216 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I was in the shower getting ready for a date, when my older sister thought it would be a laugh to turn out the light. Getting out of the shower to turn it back on, I slipped and hit on my head on the counter. Thanks, sis. FML I agree, your life sucks 27431 You deserved it 3092 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML I agree, your life sucks 47148 You deserved it 5186 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML I agree, your life sucks 40236 You deserved it 3456 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By veevee - Australia Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML I agree, your life sucks 9779 You deserved it 53013 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SofiMarti - Argentina - Buenos Aires Today, my mom was named principal of the school I go to. FML I agree, your life sucks 1662 You deserved it 211 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trailertrashyanditsucks - United States - Porter Drunk mom Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML I agree, your life sucks 47880 You deserved it 3790 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML I agree, your life sucks 36186 You deserved it 3765 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Becca - United States - Portland Today, my mother-in-law "borrowed" my dog without asking, to show him off to her friends. My dog is my service animal, and I'm not comfortable leaving the house without him. I have to be at work in an hour, and she's not picking up her phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 2139 You deserved it 405 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mary - United States Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML I agree, your life sucks 49827 You deserved it 4056 346 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/4/2021 00:30 My little boy Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML I agree, your life sucks 925 You deserved it 65 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sheev - United States - San Francisco This Charming Man Today, I was texting the guy I like. I asked him why our friend didn't want to come to the movies with us. He replied, "She didn't want to be the third wheel, but it's not like I'm going to put the moves on you. I'm out of your league, and you're socially awkward anyway." That's just what I wanted. FML I agree, your life sucks 1738 You deserved it 281 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Courtney - United States Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML I agree, your life sucks 25975 You deserved it 5198 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By biotch - United States Today, as a volunteer at the local daycare, I was with 3 and 4 year olds. They thought it would be funny to trip me and then jump on my back. I hit my elbow hard on the ground. A bunch of pre-schoolers beat me up. FML I agree, your life sucks 44606 You deserved it 6380 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Long Beach Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML I agree, your life sucks 41325 You deserved it 3202 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Puick - France - Sonchamp Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML I agree, your life sucks 42522 You deserved it 9751 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tinytitty - United States Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML I agree, your life sucks 104105 You deserved it 9214 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heymacie - United States - Lubbock Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML I agree, your life sucks 21927 You deserved it 38074 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WarMachine68 - United States - Shawnee Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML I agree, your life sucks 26115 You deserved it 2099 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frootloops - United States Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML I agree, your life sucks 36789 You deserved it 27620 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MoveOn! Today, and at every family event, my parents and grandparents go on and on about my ex and how much they miss him and wish I would get back with him. This would be fine, rude, but fine, except that they tell this to my husband. It's been years and we're expecting our first child. FML I agree, your life sucks 4096 You deserved it 281 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DM - United States - Fayville Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML I agree, your life sucks 18874 You deserved it 29958 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sidney - United Kingdom Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML I agree, your life sucks 10023 You deserved it 41692 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dumbucksally Today, my 30-year-old boyfriend of 4 years OD'd on his mental health medication, resulting in a trip to the hospital. He said the experience was eye-opening and he wants to be 100% honest with me. He then said he wants to have sex with his biological mother, who he finally met last year. FML I agree, your life sucks 3665 You deserved it 220 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By piliseep Booze confused Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML I agree, your life sucks 3998 You deserved it 1608 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Queen_of_Night - United States Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML I agree, your life sucks 32283 You deserved it 6549 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 25/9/2020 20:01 Sing me to sleep… Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1291 You deserved it 115 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By godlybacon | 5 #4221615 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:46 Chestnuts roasting on an open fireee. Send a private message 71 2 Reply
By MetalxSoldier | 26 #4221601 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:43 I believe the nerves in your nuts were shocked! Send a private message 63 5 Reply
By MetalxSoldier | 26 #4221601 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:43 I believe the nerves in your nuts were shocked! Send a private message 63 5 Reply
Reply Pentium_4 | 26 #4221691 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 12:11 electric fences always aim for the nuts, just like lemon juice always aims for the eyes Send a private message 34 2 Reply
Reply MetalxSoldier | 26 #4221940 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 14:02 I believe it's one of those mysteries of life. Send a private message 7 2 Reply
Reply InstantRanbowMix | 0 #4225721 - Wednesday 28 March 2012 4:45 What were you looking at? Send a private message 1 3 Reply
By vintagemeow | 6 #4221603 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:44 Maybe your little fellas will benefit? Electric eels get shit done. Send a private message 53 5 Reply
Reply thiscrazything | 1 #4222491 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 18:17 Serves roasted nuts. Send a private message 4 2 Reply
By desireev | 17 #4221605 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:44 You should probably quit staring at Bessie the Heffer! Yeah.. She caught on a loooonnng time ago! Payback is a bitch, huh?! Jk! :) Send a private message 41 54 Reply
Reply MetalxSoldier | 26 #4221946 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 14:04 I thought it was funny... I actually burst out laughing. :) Send a private message 14 17 Reply
Reply dhooks111490 | 8 #4222009 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 14:49 He didn't want to tell us that it was Bessie's lover who "helped him lean his nuts" onto that fence. Lol Send a private message 7 9 Reply
Reply mitchiemoto | 7 #4222582 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 18:58 Only us people who are from farming communities can understand and laugh at your comment. Them city slickers probably have no idea what a Hieffer is. Send a private message 14 2 Reply
Reply desireev | 17 #4223316 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:32 85- Exactly! The only thing I could think of was some creeper leaning over a fence staring at ol' Bessie! I'm from the country though.. Lol I found it quite humorous.. Send a private message 13 4 Reply
Reply Awes0meperson | 10 #4225539 - Wednesday 28 March 2012 4:02 Creeper? Thatsss a nicce houssse you got there Send a private message 5 1 Reply
By lol_ironic_life | 9 #4221607 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:44 You must have large snowglobes down there for them to hang so far forward when you lean on something. 0_0 Send a private message 40 5 Reply
Reply Torva_fml | 16 #4222034 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 14:58 I don't own any snowglobes, but yes... I have big testicles, if that's what you're trying to say. Send a private message 2 9 Reply
Reply Inheritance | 10 #4222084 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 15:24 49 is the FML poster?^^ Send a private message 3 8 Reply
Reply chimocho | 8 #4222215 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 16:06 It does say 'lean over' not 'lean on'. Send a private message 2 3 Reply
Reply EagorLuvsBigFoot | 8 #4225372 - Wednesday 28 March 2012 3:23 55 are you dumb? Send a private message 0 1 Reply
By godlybacon | 5 #4221615 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:46 Chestnuts roasting on an open fireee. Send a private message 71 2 Reply
Reply cookie_3008 | 4 #4221979 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 14:28 ...wire* ;) Send a private message 31 1 Reply
Reply alexup24 | 13 #4222333 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 16:36 terrifying imagery... Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By Jazzyman9182 | 0 #4221627 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:48 Doesnt matter had sex... With an electric fence Send a private message 11 38 Reply
Reply Doxy | 22 #4221639 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:50 There's a fetish for everything Send a private message 14 1 Reply
Reply desireev | 17 #4221644 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:52 For the 2nd time tonight... High-five.. In the face.. With a chair.. CURSE YOU, LONELY ISLAND! Send a private message 17 6 Reply
Reply honeybuncher | 3 #4221726 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 12:29 Shuddup. Send a private message 3 8 Reply
Reply thiscrazything | 1 #4222496 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 18:20 24, please do us all a favor and change your profile picture. Send a private message 24 1 Reply
By KaelaKhaotic | 5 #4221629 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:49 Mmmm... Toasty! Send a private message 6 20 Reply
Reply Platfoot | 0 #4222072 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 15:18 good, i noticed that you're very good at reading and copying the first comments Send a private message 15 3 Reply
Reply xxblmpknxx | 10 #4222232 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 16:09 Hers is different.. there isn't an 'h'. So that makes her unique! Send a private message 16 1 Reply
By Mama_Umbridge | 8 #4221656 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 11:57 I'll make sure to keep your nuts updated next time Send a private message 24 3 Reply
By missamerica95 | 0 #4221660 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 12:00 That must have been pretty shocking! Next time someone should warn you about that. Send a private message 5 5 Reply
By I_Punch_Babies | 7 #4221667 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 12:03 How is it that your nuts were the first thing to touch the fence? o.O Send a private message 27 4 Reply
Reply stormchaser24 | 24 #4222062 - Tuesday 27 March 2012 15:12 Thinking the same thing. He is leaning on the fence the fence then his nuts get shocked? Send a private message 1 1 Reply
Reply False_Stupidity | 41 #4227051 - Wednesday 28 March 2012 12:21 Not all of an electric fence is electrified, just a couple of wires, one obviously at nut level... Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Today, after drawing a huge portrait of a homeless man to raise awareness about homelessness, I showed it to him. When I told him I was glad he liked the... I agree, your life sucks 190 You deserved it 45 1 Comments
Today, I found out why I’ve been covering most of the bills and the rent. Turns out my boyfriend is paying a very expensive OnlyFans subscription for his... I agree, your life sucks 707 You deserved it 67 7 Comments