By jumpedjogger - United States
  Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
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@184 the only decent person here! Thank you! No one deserves to be cheated on and OP would be even worse than the guy who kicked him if he banged the guys wife like a piece of shit

  Levvy  |  22

OP didn't deserve to be battered, but his continuing fear is purely his own fault for not pursuing police involvement after being the victim of a crime.

  mike3775  |  33

#60, assault is not a small matter, its a serious matter. If the OP went back tomorrow and clotheslined and kicked the guy in the stomach, and that guy called the cops, the OP would be charged. Someone assaults me, they get to wear the metal wrist bracelets and pay to come back home. This ay they get what they deserve, and I do not have to go to jail either

  intothecrypt  |  3

I don't know what the fuck 78's talking about but in this situation I'd prefer the 2nd amendment, especially if it was the fat guy down the street from me who refuses to jog and has a hot wife and who's stupid dog never shuts up, and... whoops, maybe I'll post my own FML. or force him too...

  AliSama  |  17

assault and battery in the usa. assault is only threatening, battery is touching. He is in georgia. the guy will be taken to jail and charged.

  ck11_fml  |  1

Or just kick his ass. It sounds like the OP is more fit than his neighbor, yet he ran away when some random dude kicked him? Is his neighbor Asian with crazy martial arts skills? Bc I'm really having trouble imagining how some dude kicked him in the stomach anyway

Anyway, man up OP. Kick this dudes ass then fuck his wife. Not necessarily in that order.

By  maphineRAWRS  |  10

Because your really fit from jogging all the time?
Well I think the solution here is obvious.
Sleep with his wife, make him angry and realize he needs to jog, like yourself, to gwt sexy so his wife will sleep with him. Then offer him a paid work out session and bam. You get sex, and money. All problems solved.

By  baby4mommy  |  27

I suspect the real reason the neighbors wife won't sleep with him is that she wants her husband to start exercising and get in shape. As far as being scared to leave the house you might consider going to the police. I think in many area he could be charged with assault.