Love: Today, I was invited to my friend's wedding. I wouldn't mind,...

By Anonymous - 30/10/2015 13:27 - United Kingdom - Tranent

Today, I was invited to my friend's wedding. I wouldn't mind, but she chose her now fiancé over me, despite him being in prison for assault, a heroin addict and a general dick. This was all because I accidentally called her stupid three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 610

You deserved it 3 655

Love

Baby you can drive my car

Once bitten…

I've just got one of those faces

Buckle down

By tryingtobepretty101 - 02/09/2011 16:58 - United States

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 137

You deserved it 8 798

By CaityLovesBo - 05/02/2012 18:49 - United States

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 579

You deserved it 3 519

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 000

You deserved it 73 680

By gonesofast - 09/10/2014 17:53 - United States - Quincy

Today, as I was about to leave home for my first sweet taste of freedom at my new apartment, my car died. I'm stuck here for at least the weekend and can look forward to my mom driving me to work. Freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 138

You deserved it 2 895

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 724

You deserved it 281

Backfire

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I went on a romantic date to the mountains to look a stars with a boy I just met. We started kissing and he stopped, asking if it was rude for him to take me home now. After getting dropped off, he texted me saying we could never do that again and we should never talk about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 914

You deserved it 5 575

By bottombarrel - 28/10/2014 14:07 - United States - Greenville

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 4 320

By skyeraven - 16/03/2014 20:10 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 824

You deserved it 4 616

Knock yourself out, dude

By pornstorebitch - 23/10/2019 00:01

Today, I got told I was a bitch because I wouldn’t let a homeless man dig through my dumpster at work, even though he was hungry. We don’t even sell food. I work at a sex store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 186

By nicole - 22/09/2011 10:31 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 292

You deserved it 5 408

By monogamous - 28/10/2010 09:26 - Australia

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 323

You deserved it 4 770

Pampered

By Pinsky - 04/08/2021 19:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, the 61 year-old Vice-President of our company complained about a blister to four landscapers working outside in the July heat, for 10 minutes. He then made me carry his lunch bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 71

By filipkm - 28/04/2016 22:04 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I learned that you should always check the inside of your guitar to avoid a snake bite. Nope, strings don't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 541

You deserved it 821

By AllThatJazz - 15/04/2009 20:06 - United States

Today, I was stage managing a school show. Some kids were goofing off backstage, so I yelled at them that they could hurt themselves. While walking back to my chair, I tripped over my own feet and fell 5 feet off the stage. I shattered my cheekbone telling kids they would hurt themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 970

You deserved it 13 375

On yer bike

By Anonymous - 20/10/2019 20:00

Today, I replaced the fog lights on my car and completely filled my gas tank. $50+ later, the transmission decided it wanted to go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 88

Double standards

By Anonymous - 21/02/2013 18:45 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 591

You deserved it 2 660

By Anonymous - 02/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 416

You deserved it 3 141

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 957

You deserved it 23 554

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 625

You deserved it 3 906

By anonymous - 27/10/2009 13:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 394

You deserved it 7 293

By Anonymous - 24/10/2017 06:00

Today, I had a few drinks with a female friend after having a bad week. I got so wasted that I wound up ending the night by giving my boyfriend a rimjob. He thoroughly enjoyed it and thinks it's going to be a regular thing now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 521

You deserved it 6 991

By sadcase - 12/04/2011 14:01 - Australia

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 238

You deserved it 138 602

Risky business

By Anonymous - 26/09/2021 19:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I hooked up with a really great guy while I’m on a business trip. Would've been great, but found out he slept with someone else right after me, and stole my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 779

By SLAB_GIRL15 - 01/08/2012 07:59 - Australia - Port Macquarie

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 357

You deserved it 3 059

By mad dude - 12/01/2011 07:46

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 808

You deserved it 41 415

By Not Wanted - 07/09/2014 01:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I'm moving out of the house. My little sister can't wait and I've never seen my dad so happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 864

You deserved it 4 658

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 16:29 - United States - Cass Lake

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 377

You deserved it 3 019

By Jyocka - 26/04/2011 22:25 - Canada

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 239

You deserved it 27 030

By AirOne - 12/11/2008 14:39 - United States

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 558

You deserved it 10 770

By howsthisforaname - 24/05/2012 12:59 - United Kingdom - Kingston Upon Hull

Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 705

You deserved it 2 131

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 026

You deserved it 4 479

By Callum536 - 22/08/2016 09:51 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, it's my birthday and I'd invited quite a lot of my friends to come round and have some fun. When I got home, I saw a few cars outside. It turned out to be for the neighbours. I waited and waited; none of my friends showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 911

You deserved it 859

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 737

You deserved it 1 319

By allgassedout - 04/01/2015 00:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 317

You deserved it 7 317

By Nurse - 31/08/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 808

You deserved it 712

Run Away

By dman92 - 09/04/2017 14:24

Today, while babysitting, the power went off. My little cousin pointed into the dark kitchen behind me and asked, "Who's that man standing there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 691

You deserved it 374

By princessrose - 16/11/2016 11:05

Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 620

You deserved it 1 201

By PinkMonkeys - 23/11/2016 18:33

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending me flowers that said, "I just need some space, forever. I hope I never see you again, even if you were a great person. It's not you it's me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 542

You deserved it 872

By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 613

You deserved it 410

By NotBuyingATractor - 02/09/2015 02:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a customer service guy called to fix a problem I've been having with my phone. When it transpired that he couldn't help, he transferred me to another representative. This other representative ended up being a John Deere dealer in Michigan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 595

You deserved it 1 517

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Top comments

sh4ll0truth88 8

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:10

Well clearly she's stupid

WCARlover 34

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:10

Sounds like she really is stupid then. Just dance with the hottest bridesmaid!

sh4ll0truth88 8

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:10

Well clearly she's stupid

howard007 18

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Friday 30 October 2015 18:17

I know everyone is siding with op, but what if it goes beyond op calling her stupid. Either way, op needs to move on

higgysaurus 18

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Saturday 31 October 2015 1:26

#28 thats a good point, there is three sides to every story: your side, their side, and the truth.

DoomedGemini 37

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Saturday 31 October 2015 6:38

Why does she have to have a reason? Why isn't she not being interested in op a good enough reason?

Etweens96 25

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:10

Over time she'll realize what she's marrying. Give it time OP, this isn't going to last

ohSNAPyall 26

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:14

That doesn't mean she'll jump into OP's arms. She's about to be married. Find someone who'll choose you over a dickish junkie.

Etweens96 25

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Friday 30 October 2015 18:30

I know but she'll eventually realize she made a mistake marrying this guy

Etweens96 25

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Friday 30 October 2015 18:34

And what matters is OP cares about her well being, I think that's respectful in a guy

FieldLeftBlank 20

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Friday 30 October 2015 19:06

Actually, the post gives no indication of that, #34.

DoomedGemini 37

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Saturday 31 October 2015 1:46

We have the word of an obviously jealous sulking op on how this guy is. He sounds like a classic "nice guy" which means anyone the person they like are with are obvious complete douchebags with no good qualities.

WCARlover 34

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:10

Sounds like she really is stupid then. Just dance with the hottest bridesmaid!

jake_braves 25

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Friday 30 October 2015 19:32

Good idea #3! Haha heck yeah. But OP it's her loss.

aldoshoes 4

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Friday 30 October 2015 19:44

Then have sex with her. The bridesmaid, not your friend.

RodzillaX 30

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:10

If that was all it took, you might be better off amigo.

ohSNAPyall 26

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:12

You're still hung up on her? It is time to move on. Sounds like you want to skip this wedding.

Kartar115 22

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:13

damn I'm so sorry but I'm sure she will realise the mistake she made. OP

Ragor005 3

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Tuesday 3 November 2015 19:16

even if she realises it, she's not worth it. Every couple has to know how to forget eachother, of thats not the case, she wasn't meant for you or she just didn't love you and made up that excuse to leave you. No worries OP, you'll find someone better, you deserve it. (sorry for my bad english)

vreid 20

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:14

Hopefully by now he is over all of that stuff and you can all be happy for each other! ...Or use the invitation as toilet paper. Both are good options!

ThePaperDragon 31

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:17

Maybe she just wants to show that she has truly embraced the name you called her.

revolvearoundme 15

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:17

Don't forget to bring a metal detector to the wedding to check the cake for files, needles, and brass knuckles.

Tripartita 44

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:17

I'm amazed by those who seem to know what's best for the OP's friend, how long her marriage will last, and how intelligent she is from less than 300 characters. As long has he isn't a dick to /her/, and she loves him, why won't it work out? People battle addiction all the time, and assault can be morally justified. As for him being a dick, is the OP really a reliable evaluator of his love's choice in men? Unrequited love sucks no matter what. Her fiancé doesn't sound great, but it doesn't sound like he belittles her intelligence either.

Cebolamole 13

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Friday 30 October 2015 17:42

I totally agree with you. To me it sounded like OP was a little conceited and had a little "Nice guy syndrome". He called her stupid, "accidentally" - whatever that means - and actually called the guy her crush is in love with a "general dick". That says a lot more to me than being in prison or an addict...

Setareh23 34

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Friday 30 October 2015 18:03

Agreed. I won't vouch for the fiancé: Drug addict, prison, and "general dick" doesn't sound all that good. BUT it's being said by the guy who was rejected, so you never know what's being left out. Anyways, I highly doubt she rejected him simply because he "accidentally" called her stupid. There were probably many other issues: lack of attraction, him belittling her and her choices, and maybe the fiance is a dick but OP is no gentleman prince either, etc... If he's blaming her current marriage on himself calling her stupid three years ago, chances are he's got other flaws he is just being blind to. In any case, hopefully OP is just being a little bitter and his friend's marriage will be just fine. And once he gets over her, he may one day find his own love :)