Work: Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at...

By anonymous - United States - Roanoke

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32527

You deserved it

3748

Favorite

Work

Taking stock

Stress level: 2020

Social media was a mistake

By lover21 - United States

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

I agree, your life sucks

66586

You deserved it

2844

Favorite

By mystermoon

Stressed out

Today, at my job in a pet store, my boss had me pull all the bags of food out and restock them so that they sat pretty. Five minutes later, the store is full of people. My manager screamed, "They're touching things!" and locked himself in the office with a cup of tea. He has the only open register. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1802

You deserved it

106

Favorite

By criley - United States - Los Angeles

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49643

You deserved it

6505

Favorite

By Ouchhh - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29826

You deserved it

4531

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings and heels. When I walked out the door my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriends house I told him what my dad had said and he replied "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16593

You deserved it

62157

Favorite

By flowerging - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44415

You deserved it

16222

Favorite

By goodstudent - United States

Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm. Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, and she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, and traveled hours back to school. I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61716

You deserved it

2511

Favorite

By heart broken - United States

Today, my husband told me yet again that the last two years have been the worst of his life. Our two year anniversary is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45493

You deserved it

4742

Favorite

By ihatekids

Today, the favorite activity of the four kids I'm babysitting is running up to me when I least expect it and farting on me. I can't even sit down without them attacking me with their butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12826

You deserved it

1188

Favorite

By NoorFML - United States

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43846

You deserved it

7473

Favorite

By Katie - United States

Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36578

You deserved it

2795

Favorite

Travel gift

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1189

You deserved it

2740

Favorite

By MrandMrsRendon20 - United States

Today, I complained to my boss about how my printer wasn't printing colored ink even though I had just installed a new cartridge yesterday. Upon investigation, she noted that I forgot to take off the protection sticker from the cartridge. Good job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7238

You deserved it

29768

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Federal Way

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33009

You deserved it

4078

Favorite

By James

Gordon says you SUCK

Today, my sister was so bored during the lockdown that she let me attempt to cook an omelette without turning the stove on, just so she had something amusing to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

706

You deserved it

1237

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I went to the print shop to get some work printed. The guy serving me printed my entire order wrong because he pushed the wrong button, so it had to be done again. He tried to charge me a fine for the mistake he made because "it's not a viable business otherwise". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24126

You deserved it

1573

Favorite

By ohdearyme - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, I found out my boyfriend was on a dating website. He came up as an ideal match for my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37349

You deserved it

3106

Favorite

By QWERTY

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33099

You deserved it

18172

Favorite

By RIP - United States

Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12375

You deserved it

28330

Favorite

By unbelievable208 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48561

You deserved it

86426

Favorite

By lucky - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

I agree, your life sucks

105951

You deserved it

17852

Favorite

By Thanks dicks

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3628

You deserved it

332

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/12/2020 01:01 - United States - Saint Joseph

Stranded

Today, my husband found out that not only has he tested positive for influenza A, but also has tested positive for Covid 19. My work won't let me return until I have isolated for 14 days from someone with Covid. Our house is really small. FML

I agree, your life sucks

774

You deserved it

110

Favorite

By sandwhiched - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30583

You deserved it

4785

Favorite

By Skier - Canada

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6219

You deserved it

55379

Favorite

By victoriassecret - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35452

You deserved it

4109

Favorite

By Ouchies - United States

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42296

You deserved it

2245

Favorite

By snapped - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37017

You deserved it

9398

Favorite

By - Germany - Bad Frankenhausen

Today, I asked my Mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1275

You deserved it

2089

Favorite

By stevenr579 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33851

You deserved it

7545

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/5/2021 11:01

Sad news

Today, after years of crushing over my best friend, I finally got the guts to tell her about my feelings, only to find out she has been secretly dating my roommate. I could not have been more depressed. My whole life feels shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

848

You deserved it

236

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10904

You deserved it

73532

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Mordialloc

Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50383

You deserved it

4037

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Talk about not getting the picture…

Today, I finally worked up the courage to break up with my boyfriend. His parents weren't able to pick him up for 5 hours. I ended up taking him to a movie to kill time and end on a positive note, but now he thinks we're cool and back on track. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6381

You deserved it

1985

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing my dad said to him was "So, how low have you kissed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

35922

You deserved it

3902

Favorite

By atleese - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18383

You deserved it

31785

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45645

You deserved it

5222

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50167

You deserved it

5948

Favorite

By Anonymous - Switzerland

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10852

You deserved it

1135

Favorite

By x0SoReckless0x - United States

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48256

You deserved it

3449

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By onlychildFTW | 33

#6127640 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 11:41

Well I think some people who are excessively happy can be annoying. There's this one girl in my class. Holy crap smile is as wide as her face, always laughing and giggling and interrupting and so cheery at 8:30am. It's so annoying at times. I could see why he thought that if you're interrupting and stuff.

By barnyboy | 13

#6127639 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 11:40

instant buzz kill. sorry OP.

COMMENTS

By barnyboy | 13

#6127639 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 11:40

instant buzz kill. sorry OP.

Onyxdragon | 9

#6127750 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 16:53

she should've had a snickers

By onlychildFTW | 33

#6127640 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 11:41

meli1195 | 31

#6127663 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:28

overbubbly people can be a ray of sunshine at first, but after a while they can turn into the most annoying people and you will just wish they would have a bad day

mansen | 15

#6127808 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 18:54

Never trust anyone who is so very cheerful early in the morning. It is abnormal. That being said, I am biased in that I hate mornings, am a night owl, snd would mainline coffee if I could when I wake up at 6am.

By woahwhatchild | 9

#6127641 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 11:41

Sounds like your boss woke up on the wrong side of town today

Queen_bee1234 | 21

#6127652 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:02

Her professor, not boss.

woahwhatchild | 9

#6127732 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 15:26

Okay Einstein

woahwhatchild | 9

#6127762 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 17:57

Idc tbh gtf

jvfelicio | 13

#6128670 - Thursday 27 November 2014 6:18

Lol woahwhatchild what did you have for breakfast today?

By greentide | 9

#6127642 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 11:42

He's a dick... Not much more to be said

By MisterEx | 28

#6127643 - Tuesday 25 November 2014 11:42

That's because, in your own words, your are not used to being in a good mood. Which means you are experiencing a feeling that is fairly new/unusual to you. Which might make you look and sound and be a little different. Which annoys those who has a stuck up their behind. Such as your professor.