Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
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Top comments
By
AlittleSanity
| 11
The left one, right?
By
tacojauns
| 45
Hey man any hole is a goal
COMMENTS
By
candleandflame
| 19
Nice...
Reply
epicwaffles
| 7
Yes, unlike your plain top comment.
Reply
lilhellian
| 26
#1 I think your flame went out..
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travtxson
| 5
Flame plain lame all the same...ahh "million dollar song right there"
Reply
fishstick557
| 14
41 .... What ?
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Bakarra
| 22
41: Dont do drugs. Drugs are bad, mkay?
Reply
jarrettd
| 27
Just because you don't know the movie he is quoting from you thumb him down.
Reply
SomeRandomGuy15
| 18
71- Pretty sure he was thumbed down because the comment didn't make much sense in this context regardless...
By
jisaac09
| 25
Don't worry about it, it happens to the best of us.
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courtney680
| 17
Classy..
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Bakarra
| 22
I for one, know which hole is the baby maker, thank you very much...
Reply
AKGirlinSD
| 20
^Make sure you get a hold of OP and advise him, please.
By
AlittleSanity
| 11
The left one, right?
Reply
CareFace
| 16
Up the bum, no babies.
Reply
lilhellian
| 26
Guys we all know it goes in the ear..
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
Is that to hear when you're cuming?:P
Reply
enormouselephant
| 15
Just don't get hearing aids...
Reply
ShyAnn29
| 14
I thought it was in the nose
Reply
apax
| 9
And all these years I've been doing it in the one formed by my fingers and thumb.
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
"She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead"
"Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid"
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead"
"Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid"
Reply
Bibliovore
| 26
#17 -- Just to debunk any misconceptions among potential readers (not that anyone should be getting sex ed from this site, but stranger things have happened): It _is_ still possible for anal sex to cause pregnancy, just a lot less likely. Some semen can leak out, or be deposited upon pulling out, putting it very close to the vaginal entrance in a region that's presumably wet and thus swimmable, and it only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg.
Reply
CareFace
| 16
I clearly didn't say "around the bum, no babies."
Reply
kinky44
| 28
@75 Except that the vagina is slightly acidic, undetectable to humans but very much to sperm cells. This is why sperm is deposited deep into the vagina to give it a better chance for survival. There is no way the sperm could enter and travel the vagina on its own.
Reply
OptimusVader
| 23
Actually #79, the entire environment inside is slightly acidic. It's caused by the growth of good bacteria that balances pH levels. Semen is more basic, so the acid level doesn't kill it. It's highly unlikely, but still completely possible to get pregnant.
Reply
DanielleinDC
| 32
I have read of girls getting pregnant without intercourse or when the guy "pulls out" early. It's not common, but it does happen.
Reply
ZeroPath5
| 16
@92 Yep, some people fail to realize that there's precum before a man ejaculates
Reply
kinky44
| 28
The acid level does kill it. I don't know where you are getting that sperm is basic from because a living thing cannot be acidic or basic. An individual sperm cell would die and could not travel the entire vaginal canal by itself. Its not an opinion, its a fact. Nature works this way for a reason.
Reply
ImAFaker
| 29
Ummm 115 Lemons are alive and they are acidic. Someone didn't pass the third grade...
Reply
Spoderman170
| 8
Are you a potato? Your blood is slightly basic it has living cells in it
By
ironichalibut
| 24
Be happy you have a fun father in law! A lot wouldn't take that topic in such good humor.
Reply
AKGirlinSD
| 20
Exactly! A father-in-law that can make a joke, about that subject, is a keeper. I hope OP joked back.
Reply
Nicholi124
| 10
#4 lol your right that's a good father in law
Reply
LemonandLime
| 13
Personally I don't like how the OP said his wife had been struggling. There might be a problem with his sperm. He should have said "we" have been struggling.
By
Transfusion
| 8
Well, have you?
By
NothernNightmare
| 18
Listen to him! Obviously he did something right if he conceived your wife!
Reply
ShyAnn29
| 14
You mean helped his wife conceive.
Reply
pmadNess
| 14
No, Father-in-law is his wife's father, thus he helped her be conceived.
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ShyAnn29
| 14
That's what I said, the Father-in-law helped his wife to conceive your (OPs) wife.
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pmadNess
| 14
Didn't read that way to me, as you sent as a reply to #6, rather than a comment to OP.
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ShyAnn29
| 14
I must have read 6 wrong, sorry, I read it as 6 saying the father-in-law conceived, which I was correcting by saying his wife is the one who conceived with his help.
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ShyAnn29
| 14
Why am I being thumbed down?
By
tacojauns
| 45
Hey man any hole is a goal
Reply
scarpicide
| 5
I like it.
Reply
Kruiser
| 16
8 - your picture I perfectly suited for your comment. Priceless!
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cb1002630
| 11
Ugh
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travtxson
| 5
Lol kruiser your picture suited for all comments and is priceless.
Reply
ShyAnn29
| 14
Well you've got 6 holes to choose from: vagina, anus, two ear holes, and two nose holes.
Reply
patxtreme83
| 7
Kruiser, it may just be me but the smoke in your photo looks like a penis and ballsack. Just sayin'
Reply
xxsakuraxx
| 29
You're forgetting about the mouth lol
Reply
Zack6849
| 8
@62 no.
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UltimateGIRness
| 16
64- I thought the same thing
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Bakarra
| 22
64: That's the joke, I've seen the picture before on 9gag
Reply
SomeDeadRabbits
| 8
#62 You must have some crazy times in the bedroom, am I right?
By
waffule365
| 16
well if he said that at least he doesn't sound upset lol
Reply
A7XCamaro
| 19
I would hope not, they are married.
By
Welshite
| 39
Your username gives me the impression that you aren't really sure. I suggest you listen to your father-in-law.
By
LovesSushi
| 25
At least he didn't make a diagram and show you what to do? I dunno, that does some a bit odd to say. I mean, what father wants to know HOW you are having sex with his daughter?
Reply
spliit_fml
| 8
sound* you're*
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Zack6849
| 8
op's father-in law
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LovesSushi
| 25
Right. If the OP is male, and he is talking to HIS father-in-law, then that means the OP's wife is the father-in-laws daughter. Why would a man want to know HOW someone is actually having sex with his own daughter, even if they are married?
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sublimaze
| 6
That reminds me of a scene in the movie "She's Having a Baby" with Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern. It's definitely worth watching if you have the chance.