By um... maybe - 12/03/2013 22:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 859
You deserved it 5 002

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Top comments

The left one, right?

Hey man any hole is a goal

Comments

Yes, unlike your plain top comment.

#1 I think your flame went out..

Flame plain lame all the same...ahh "million dollar song right there"

41 .... What ?

41: Dont do drugs. Drugs are bad, mkay?

Just because you don't know the movie he is quoting from you thumb him down.

71- Pretty sure he was thumbed down because the comment didn't make much sense in this context regardless...

Don't worry about it, it happens to the best of us.

I for one, know which hole is the baby maker, thank you very much...

^Make sure you get a hold of OP and advise him, please.

The left one, right?

Up the bum, no babies.

Guys we all know it goes in the ear..

Is that to hear when you're cuming?:P

Just don't get hearing aids...

I thought it was in the nose

And all these years I've been doing it in the one formed by my fingers and thumb.

"She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead" "Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid"

#17 -- Just to debunk any misconceptions among potential readers (not that anyone should be getting sex ed from this site, but stranger things have happened): It _is_ still possible for anal sex to cause pregnancy, just a lot less likely. Some semen can leak out, or be deposited upon pulling out, putting it very close to the vaginal entrance in a region that's presumably wet and thus swimmable, and it only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg.

I clearly didn't say "around the bum, no babies."

@75 Except that the vagina is slightly acidic, undetectable to humans but very much to sperm cells. This is why sperm is deposited deep into the vagina to give it a better chance for survival. There is no way the sperm could enter and travel the vagina on its own.

Actually #79, the entire environment inside is slightly acidic. It's caused by the growth of good bacteria that balances pH levels. Semen is more basic, so the acid level doesn't kill it. It's highly unlikely, but still completely possible to get pregnant.

I have read of girls getting pregnant without intercourse or when the guy "pulls out" early. It's not common, but it does happen.

@92 Yep, some people fail to realize that there's precum before a man ejaculates

The acid level does kill it. I don't know where you are getting that sperm is basic from because a living thing cannot be acidic or basic. An individual sperm cell would die and could not travel the entire vaginal canal by itself. Its not an opinion, its a fact. Nature works this way for a reason.

Ummm 115 Lemons are alive and they are acidic. Someone didn't pass the third grade...

Are you a potato? Your blood is slightly basic it has living cells in it

Be happy you have a fun father in law! A lot wouldn't take that topic in such good humor.

Exactly! A father-in-law that can make a joke, about that subject, is a keeper. I hope OP joked back.

#4 lol your right that's a good father in law

Personally I don't like how the OP said his wife had been struggling. There might be a problem with his sperm. He should have said "we" have been struggling.

Well, have you?

Listen to him! Obviously he did something right if he conceived your wife!

You mean helped his wife conceive.

No, Father-in-law is his wife's father, thus he helped her be conceived.

That's what I said, the Father-in-law helped his wife to conceive your (OPs) wife.

Didn't read that way to me, as you sent as a reply to #6, rather than a comment to OP.

I must have read 6 wrong, sorry, I read it as 6 saying the father-in-law conceived, which I was correcting by saying his wife is the one who conceived with his help.

Why am I being thumbed down?

Hey man any hole is a goal

8 - your picture I perfectly suited for your comment. Priceless!

Lol kruiser your picture suited for all comments and is priceless.

Well you've got 6 holes to choose from: vagina, anus, two ear holes, and two nose holes.

Kruiser, it may just be me but the smoke in your photo looks like a penis and ballsack. Just sayin'

You're forgetting about the mouth lol

64- I thought the same thing

64: That's the joke, I've seen the picture before on 9gag

#62 You must have some crazy times in the bedroom, am I right?

well if he said that at least he doesn't sound upset lol

I would hope not, they are married.

Your username gives me the impression that you aren't really sure. I suggest you listen to your father-in-law.

At least he didn't make a diagram and show you what to do? I dunno, that does some a bit odd to say. I mean, what father wants to know HOW you are having sex with his daughter?

sound* you're*

op's father-in law

Right. If the OP is male, and he is talking to HIS father-in-law, then that means the OP's wife is the father-in-laws daughter. Why would a man want to know HOW someone is actually having sex with his own daughter, even if they are married?

That reminds me of a scene in the movie "She's Having a Baby" with Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern. It's definitely worth watching if you have the chance.