Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby... - FML

By 8reth72 - 11/6/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36100

You deserved it

86723

Tweet

Share

Family values

Breaking Badly

They're everywhere

By - 18/1/2020 05:00

Very frustrating

Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him full force dead center in the chest right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2275

You deserved it

231

Tweet

Share

By pyroman1127 - 16/5/2011 19:34 - United States

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29002

You deserved it

39295

Tweet

Share

By TheDrugsAreStrongWithThisOne - 20/7/2015 08:21 - United States

Today, a customer wanted corporate's number because we aren't allowed to sell pies after midnight. After a drug-fuelled cuss-storm, she punched me in the face through the open window and peeled out of drive-thru like a bat out of hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25807

You deserved it

1929

Tweet

Share

By educatttiiioonnn - 26/9/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17807

You deserved it

25965

Tweet

Share

By Unfortunate - 27/12/2010 05:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6805

You deserved it

45213

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/6/2017 16:00

Today, I went to fetch our bins after they were collected, only to scare the child that was trying to fit inside our compost bin. Apparently, she's not allowed to play in hers because she already broke two by doing this. These bins are $75 a piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4410

You deserved it

299

Tweet

Share

By 14YearOld - 25/11/2011 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39782

You deserved it

7968

Tweet

Share

By lalala - 22/12/2011 17:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33885

You deserved it

7938

Tweet

Share

By tornkhakis - 24/2/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37089

You deserved it

4150

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/1/2016 15:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got let go from my job, because my personal cell phone doesn't always have signal, so I missed an important call from work. My contract specifically said I'd get a work phone, which never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22165

You deserved it

1554

Tweet

Share

By lostintellct - 11/5/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17185

You deserved it

51119

Tweet

Share

By Spider fail - 31/5/2016 19:06 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I had a dream that I was swinging through New York City as my favorite hero, Spider-Man. I was almost immediately beaten to death by a mugger. I suck even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10632

You deserved it

1028

Tweet

Share

By Unlucky - 5/9/2017 16:00

Today, while crossing the street, I was honked at by a stopped car. I responded with the following: a finger and a "Fuck you!" It was my boss who just wanted to say hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1721

You deserved it

4713

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/9/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43476

You deserved it

2877

Tweet

Share

By Sam - 27/8/2020 23:02 - Canada

Love hurts

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2297

You deserved it

111

Tweet

Share

By spitt - 13/5/2015 02:11 - United States - Franklin

Today, after a big presentation, people sent an open invitation to dinner. When I asked which restaurant and what time, I was told that I wasn't invited. I've been here for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28347

You deserved it

2346

Tweet

Share

By - 3/1/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47472

You deserved it

4339

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/12/2017 01:30

Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8373

You deserved it

499

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 31/3/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26424

You deserved it

11066

Tweet

Share

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/2/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16012

You deserved it

53454

Tweet

Share

By chill - 17/12/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my grandpa sent me a letter apologizing for not congratulating me about my graduation last spring. Too bad I don't graduate until May. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25524

You deserved it

4262

Tweet

Share

By InTheDoghouse23 - 24/8/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17790

You deserved it

59071

Tweet

Share

By RoxMySox - 25/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28349

You deserved it

6676

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/10/2010 04:44 - Canada

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32167

You deserved it

3465

Tweet

Share

By secret - 14/2/2015 14:10 - United States - Ashford

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39627

You deserved it

2212

Tweet

Share

By hot_friend - 19/12/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he was in love with my best friend instead of me. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't the third boyfriend in a row this happened with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56826

You deserved it

4862

Tweet

Share

By Mandy - 17/9/2011 00:25 - Canada

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28706

You deserved it

2421

Tweet

Share

By CassidyQueen - 6/6/2015 02:14 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31088

You deserved it

5522

Tweet

Share

By not4geeks - 15/5/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32216

You deserved it

72905

Tweet

Share

By shadow - 26/12/2017 08:00 - United States - Osceola

Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5757

You deserved it

264

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32981

You deserved it

3296

Tweet

Share

By kissrocks4 - 11/4/2012 07:04 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22360

You deserved it

3142

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/5/2009 12:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

I agree, your life sucks

74870

You deserved it

8393

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/4/2020 20:00

Double-crossed

Today, I found out my husband wasn’t really “working from home” in the evenings. He locks himself in his office until the late hours of the night, having intimate Skype sessions with his coworker. That explains why our joint bank account hasn’t seen a direct deposit this past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1797

You deserved it

144

Tweet

Share

By Fire0fisis - 23/5/2012 09:38 - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24786

You deserved it

11046

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/2/2010 08:23 - France

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28797

You deserved it

4335

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 5/1/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12634

You deserved it

43950

Tweet

Share

By anon - 22/11/2015 06:40 - United States - Costa Mesa

Today, I told my dad that scientists discovered a new sea creature. He said it was all b.s and that scientists just make things up to cover conspiracies. I'm a biological sciences major. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22283

You deserved it

1662

Tweet

Share

By LonelyCashier - 11/7/2019 20:00

Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1890

You deserved it

176

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 15:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42988

You deserved it

3148

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By taylerrr | 0

#293902 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:01

how do you forget something like that?

By CyclonePsycho | 1

#293955 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:09

How do you forget something like that? He *just* died a few months ago, you idiot. YDI.

COMMENTS

By taylerrr | 0

#293902 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:01

how do you forget something like that?

Reply

jpest17 | 5

#948400 - Monday 15 March 2010 4:09

not as big a deal as most make it out to be, it was months ago!

Reply

ahti546 | 11

#2767559 - Monday 27 June 2011 5:51

DERP

Reply

ale2309 | 16

#6100805 - Sunday 26 October 2014 17:18

It was a couple months ago, not a century. And it seems like he's super involved in their life (seeing as he was giving name ideas for the newborn) which makes it impossible to forget something like that.

By mylife_everyday2 | 0

#293904 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:02

how did Joshua die?

Reply

lindsaylu98 | 0

#2427427 - Friday 29 April 2011 4:29

why does it matter the point is a little boy died and thats sad... :(

By LittleMiss1 | 0

#293911 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:03

Oh wow..

By SluttyMcNugget | 0

#293918 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:04

How about Joshua v. 2.0?

By Dabamash | 0

#293926 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:05

Shit, FYL? FTL more like.

By Button_x | 0

#293938 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:07

#4 wins.

I'm calling shenanigans, though. How could you forget something like that?

By Animati0n | 0

#293942 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:07

Man oh man, that sucks. :( I wonder what happened afterwards...

By CyclonePsycho | 1

#293955 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:09

How do you forget something like that? He *just* died a few months ago, you idiot. YDI.

Reply

delaneylove | 0

#2747849 - Friday 24 June 2011 10:17

OP never said that he knew that Joshua had died, OP might be a doctor who assisting wit stuff who had never even met the family before. Dont assume guys.

Reply

delaneylove | 0

#2747852 - Friday 24 June 2011 10:19

oh oops. I just reread it and I was wrong and now feel like an ass. sorry guys :(

By sillygirl24 | 0

#293957 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:09

thats terrible. how could you forget something like that? YDI for being an idiot.

By homiecat | 0

#293973 - Thursday 11 June 2009 20:12

YDI...how do you forget something like that, ur just stupid