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Hahahaha, that's epic! Awesome boyfriend/famliy he's got there.

Most of the major musicians have multiple trumpets to choose from, if you know what I'm saying.

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Awesome boyfriend and family you have to put up with* haha.

Those are two completely opposite comments/views...

I thought the asterisk was meant only if you messed up a word or two, not an entire comment...

It didn't sound right to me the first time I said it... Oops. Sorry FML.

I still don't see how you went from awesome family to family you have to put up with.

Stop making a big deal out of it?

Honestly, when I first read this FML, I was disgusted. I went all feminist mode like, "OMG WOMEN R NOT OBJECTS U USE 2 FUCK TREET US BETTR PLZ" but then I realized that I can't take a joke.

Most of the major musicians have multiple trumpets to choose from, if you know what I'm saying.

I don't know what you are saying. Are you saying that major musicians have multiple penises? Or, they have multiple people to give blowjobs to? I doubt you have to be a major musician to find people to accept your blowjobs.

Maybe he's saying that since major musicians have strong mouth muscles that lots of people want them to give them blow jobs.

So it's Paul Rudd from Wanderlust and he wants you to see his erection selection?

Perdix maybe I'm saying she could find another guy? Not sure if you were being sarcastic...

Oh so SHE's the musician in your comment. It took reading your second comment and two rereadings of your first to get that, so no, we didn't know what the hell you were saying.

He just says it like it is.

why would he fellate himself?

Thats not the point of the fml...

Well if you could, why wouldn't you? You know what they say... If you want so ethi gdone right you gotta do it yourself.

Well they say tooting your own horn feels more like tooting a horn than your horn being tooted

so mind fucked right now...WHAT!???

Cause if you want somethin done right, you do it yourself. Atleast that's what I tell myself during fap time

#97 you're profile picture becomes more disturbing by the second.

Place a secret camera in his room and see if he ever tries it. Post on YouTube. Let hilarity ensue.

No sexual content allowed on YouTube

13 - Spoilsport!

Try YouLube.

thats when you pixelate his 3 inches of skin

That's a little complimentary, but ok.

21- or Youjizz, or Youporn, or....

you've found the one.

its just a joke...laugh

Frankly I'd have a talk with him about respecting me. Jokes are meant to be funny. If he's gonna be cracking sexual innuendoes that shows me I'm dating an immature douche not worthy of my time.

#65 If you found that disrespectful then you need to lighten up. If a boyfriend did that to me I'd be jokingly elbowing him but laughing.

Maybe not necessarily disrespectful but it's not appropriate. I have boundaries and certain things just push my buttons. That's where respect falls into place.

scoff all you want. I'm sure OP would 'blow me' and not have any fucks to give about appropriateness. lighten up.

Lmao you've got a keeper it seems to me

I would have high fived him in the face.

With a chair

And then use it on the trumpet

BAZINGA! :D

stop commenting... its not working out for you

Maybe you should take your own advice, because you kinda just come off sounding like a jerk. Just down vote and move on. I will now follow my own advice.