Transportation: Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love... - FML

By GrLifeusx - United States

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

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Understandable

Fresh air

*Friends theme music plays*

By Mia - United States - Laurel

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 05:01 - Germany - Aachen

Not now, mom, I'm in pain

Today, my mom wrote me an email, asking how I was doing after an accident yesterday. I wrote back at length, telling her everything in detail. Two hours later, she calls me on the phone, asking how I am. She was simply too lazy to check her mail and expected me to tell her everything a second time. FML

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By mikey - United States

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, "When did you start hating me?" She replied, "When you were 4". FML

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By Ohshucks! - United States

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

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By Kayla - United States - Mesa

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

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By LostSleep - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML

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By ... - France

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

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By Anonymous

Smash the Patriarchy!

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that yes, girls do get armpit hair, we just have to shave it. FML

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By mubaki - United States

Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Medway

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML

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By MarieAmber18 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

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By MessyMal - United States

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

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By kate9871

Mr. Nice Guy

Today, while driving home, a jeep hit the back of my car. When I got home and told my boyfriend, he acted concerned but still wanted to know what was for dinner. I think I have whiplash, can't stop shaking from the shock and he's practically already waiting at the dinner table. FML

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By prince232 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after having a second interview with a club I want to work for, the interviewer ignored my work references. Instead, he told me he was going to call the only manager I never got along with, for reference in a job I left 5 years ago, because he knows her personally. FML

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By WellPlayedMother

Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually lose anything. Instead, my mom drunkenly admitted to tossing my stuff away and then punishing me for it whenever she was mad at me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lake Forest

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

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By Jack Slate - 12/12/2020 11:02

Leave me alone!

Today, my anxious, obsessive, overbearing mother called me four times. That's significantly less than usual. When I complained to my dad, he said, "She just worries about you because she loves you." I don't feel loved, I feel smothered. FML

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By Wowseriously - United States

Dumpster Fire Boyfriend

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how hard it is to wash long hair. While I was talking, he interrupted and said, "Wait, you actually wash your hair?" FML

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By lil_munchkinjen - United Kingdom

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

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By GLX - United States - Sand Springs

Today, a "friend" tried to sell me a digital camera that I recognized that was stolen from my home a week earlier, along with a few other things. FML

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By me - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

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By

Online life

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

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By ScrewedOver - United States

Today, is January 1st. Last night, I threw a party. Only 3 people came. Luckily, one of the people who came was the love of my life, I had been hoping to get a midnight kiss from him. Unluckly, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. At my party. They were liplocked almost the whole time. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

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By FlamedOut

Today, I discovered that my Tinder date is the roommate and best friend of a date from the previous week that went sour. He also hangs out with my former high school flame. What are the chances? FML

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By story of my life. - Switzerland

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

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By Lesbihonest - Australia - Gymea

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

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By oldlady - United States

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

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By damn - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn

Today, my puppy went missing. I found him, unconscious but thankfully alive, in a taped-up box with no holes. My little brother eventually confessed to doing it because he wanted to sell my puppy on eBay. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

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By weldingmachine217 - United States - Blanchard

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my husband never wanted to marry me, he only did because I wouldn't quit pestering him to propose to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/11/2020 05:02

Alexa, play "Glad to be Unhappy" by The Mamas & The Papas

Today, my ex told me he never wanted to talk to me again, because of how annoying I am. I’m still madly in love with him. FML

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By dxplq876 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store and out of no where, a car backing up pretty fast speeds downs the parking lot and hits me, causing me to fall down and drop all of the groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

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By Overlord247 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, due to sleep deprivation, I wasn't paying attention to where the elevator stopped. I walked into a flat, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. It was the flat just beneath mine. FML

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By Suicidal - Australia

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

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Top comments

By Yunie_fml | 0

#21216 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:23

Should've brought your wand.

By zachhh | 0

#21235 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:54

stupid muggle.......

COMMENTS

By Yunie_fml | 0

#21216 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:23

Should've brought your wand.

Reply

Straka | 0

#940082 - Friday 12 March 2010 21:18

see this is why people shouldn't be so nerdy, dressin up like a magical English fart, WTF

Reply

FYL_hardd | 0

#1058208 - Saturday 3 July 2010 16:28

118 - It's not being "nerdy". The convention was themed Harry Potter, therefore the visitors were to dress as a character from the book. They're just really into it..

Reply

yuop77 | 0

#1106272 - Sunday 18 July 2010 14:07

ya, nerdy

Reply

hellokittywhore | 0

#1227736 - Thursday 12 August 2010 10:23

hehehe!! this made me giggle xD

Reply

kappaaa | 12

#1293309 - Tuesday 24 August 2010 4:49

#118 your a dick. People like to do that sort of stuff, doesn't mean there a 'nerd' fuck stick.

Reply

Lucidium | 0

#2316994 - Saturday 9 April 2011 2:22

yeah it does

Reply

lenor_fml | 7

#3210615 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 9:16

Or better yet, should've taken the knight bus my friend

Reply

moonpiglet | 4

#4549865 - Sunday 10 June 2012 22:13

"English fart"? I'm English! We're not all "farts"!!

Reply

Rohit281 | 13

#5717130 - Tuesday 15 October 2013 15:56

More like he should have "used" his wand. Spell is "reparo".

By Assmilk | 0

#21219 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:27

You didn't bring your flying broom with you? Idiot...

By loser_fml | 1

#21220 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:28

Agreed with #1

Reply

xiaoxaio | 5

#3655583 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 1:48

neeeeerrrrrddddd!

By k649 | 0

#21223 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:39

If only you were the real Harry Potter, you could have flown there.

Reply

hellokittywhore | 0

#862914 - Tuesday 16 February 2010 22:13

he said he was Ron not Harry
and I LMFAO at this, in my lit class.

Reply

luluk854ever | 0

#1742690 - Wednesday 24 November 2010 4:55

Ron is totlly nmuch better. I don een like harry

Reply

Sansa_fml | 38

#6362892 - Monday 27 July 2015 10:53

should've taken the night bus

By gqduck | 0

#21233 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:51

Aren't you allowed to change into your outfit when you get to the convention?

By zachhh | 0

#21235 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:54

stupid muggle.......

By Shippicus | 0

#21240 - Sunday 8 March 2009 13:02

ok. stupid motherf***er change when you get there. also. google. taxis. use them

By Tehalon | 0

#21243 - Sunday 8 March 2009 13:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By My_Little_Pony | 0

#21245 - Sunday 8 March 2009 13:05

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

iHaveADream_ | 0

#2065808 - Thursday 10 February 2011 8:29

I do , i like all the characters

By ubbernoob | 0

#21267 - Sunday 8 March 2009 14:00

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

spaerro | 8

#3534910 - Thursday 3 November 2011 6:03

You sir, need to die.

Reply

ashleyyyroseee | 16

#6445007 - Monday 26 October 2015 12:56

This wingman in particular portrays a huge role in the storyline