Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love... - FML

By GrLifeusx - 8/3/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31846

You deserved it

58295

Tweet

Share

Healthy relationship

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

Trip Advisor says no

By alie - 9/2/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36741

You deserved it

4666

Tweet

Share

By brittbrat4 - 5/7/2011 00:25 - United States

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34573

You deserved it

6355

Tweet

Share

By oliver - 27/1/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22399

You deserved it

2227

Tweet

Share

By Kelavmeister - 17/4/2009 01:16 - United States

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

86979

You deserved it

6949

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 23:46 - United States - Irving

Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23950

You deserved it

3726

Tweet

Share

By missingcharlie - 17/8/2009 02:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44963

You deserved it

5664

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8991

You deserved it

57595

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 21/4/2009 05:42 - United States

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40276

You deserved it

101000

Tweet

Share

By rangerluke - 25/2/2016 15:52 - United States

Today, I went to an indoor trampoline park. This would usually be fun, except that I got there, broke my ankle, and left in an ambulance, all before my friends even arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19711

You deserved it

2179

Tweet

Share

By nicegirl08 - 20/1/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28584

You deserved it

2575

Tweet

Share

By uglychick - 5/9/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41665

You deserved it

9694

Tweet

Share

By Granmacathy - 29/11/2009 07:13 - United States

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33978

You deserved it

4480

Tweet

Share

By DeeDee - 4/2/2014 22:08 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54608

You deserved it

5415

Tweet

Share

By wheelmaker - 3/12/2018 17:30

Today, the girl I've had several passionate encounters over the past few weeks admitted we cannot entirely be together as she is married. She wants to make it work with me but cannot divorce as she would lose her visa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2660

You deserved it

440

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/7/2020 08:00

Reading comprehension

Today, one of my clients called me, saying that he received my email. When I asked what I could do for him, he replied, “Well, what does the email say?” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1198

You deserved it

162

Tweet

Share

By Coquette - 22/4/2012 18:14 - United States

Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21873

You deserved it

5731

Tweet

Share

By notcool - 15/9/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. I attend Johns Hopkins. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39220

You deserved it

3256

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/6/2016 03:29 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my father-in-law is still introducing me to family friends as his son's girlfriend. I have been married to his son for 5 years, we have a child together and another on the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13982

You deserved it

1013

Tweet

Share

By slicero - 7/12/2016 04:40

Today, I finally got a package for some pieces that my model kit was missing after I had contacted customer services about the problem. The package was still missing a piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8947

You deserved it

624

Tweet

Share

By Sun_Kissed18 - 9/7/2014 07:26 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46369

You deserved it

4184

Tweet

Share

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45989

You deserved it

8590

Tweet

Share

By really - 1/11/2014 01:16 - United States

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33715

You deserved it

3222

Tweet

Share

By tax-man - 2/3/2013 02:35 - United States - Chapin

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38178

You deserved it

9055

Tweet

Share

By - 19/11/2019 14:00

He prefers the dog

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1844

You deserved it

328

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/7/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39302

You deserved it

4146

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/7/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43091

You deserved it

5389

Tweet

Share

By and he wonders why I'm anxious - 25/2/2016 22:41 - Netherlands

Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20067

You deserved it

2356

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/10/2012 07:54 - South Africa

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25009

You deserved it

2507

Tweet

Share

By failure - 10/10/2013 14:11 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36736

You deserved it

15675

Tweet

Share

By MooCow - 13/7/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25489

You deserved it

15678

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/8/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69249

You deserved it

9903

Tweet

Share

By carsuck - 11/11/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29253

You deserved it

4136

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/9/2014 23:42 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46479

You deserved it

10055

Tweet

Share

By notgay - 25/12/2009 19:34 - United States

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38856

You deserved it

3779

Tweet

Share

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27863

You deserved it

3465

Tweet

Share

By motheroftwo - 6/1/2010 08:41 - Norway

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33526

You deserved it

6643

Tweet

Share

By Username - 19/10/2010 15:24 - France

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12653

You deserved it

34835

Tweet

Share

By koolkidx3 - 24/2/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43205

You deserved it

3009

Tweet

Share

By Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III - 14/6/2015 13:41 - United States - Jersey Shore

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35549

You deserved it

5245

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/2/2013 13:43 - United States - Boise

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44855

You deserved it

11907

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Yunie_fml | 0

#21216 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:23

Should've brought your wand.

By zachhh | 0

#21235 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:54

stupid muggle.......

COMMENTS

By Yunie_fml | 0

#21216 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:23

Should've brought your wand.

Reply

Straka | 0

#940082 - Friday 12 March 2010 21:18

see this is why people shouldn't be so nerdy, dressin up like a magical English fart, WTF

Reply

FYL_hardd | 0

#1058208 - Saturday 3 July 2010 16:28

118 - It's not being "nerdy". The convention was themed Harry Potter, therefore the visitors were to dress as a character from the book. They're just really into it..

Reply

yuop77 | 0

#1106272 - Sunday 18 July 2010 14:07

ya, nerdy

Reply

hellokittywhore | 0

#1227736 - Thursday 12 August 2010 10:23

hehehe!! this made me giggle xD

Reply

kappaaa | 12

#1293309 - Tuesday 24 August 2010 4:49

#118 your a dick. People like to do that sort of stuff, doesn't mean there a 'nerd' fuck stick.

Reply

Lucidium | 0

#2316994 - Saturday 9 April 2011 2:22

yeah it does

Reply

lenor_fml | 7

#3210615 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 9:16

Or better yet, should've taken the knight bus my friend

Reply

moonpiglet | 4

#4549865 - Sunday 10 June 2012 22:13

"English fart"? I'm English! We're not all "farts"!!

Reply

Rohit281 | 13

#5717130 - Tuesday 15 October 2013 15:56

More like he should have "used" his wand. Spell is "reparo".

By Assmilk | 0

#21219 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:27

You didn't bring your flying broom with you? Idiot...

By loser_fml | 1

#21220 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:28

Agreed with #1

Reply

xiaoxaio | 5

#3655583 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 1:48

neeeeerrrrrddddd!

By k649 | 0

#21223 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:39

If only you were the real Harry Potter, you could have flown there.

Reply

hellokittywhore | 0

#862914 - Tuesday 16 February 2010 22:13

he said he was Ron not Harry
and I LMFAO at this, in my lit class.

Reply

luluk854ever | 0

#1742690 - Wednesday 24 November 2010 4:55

Ron is totlly nmuch better. I don een like harry

Reply

Sansa_fml | 38

#6362892 - Monday 27 July 2015 10:53

should've taken the night bus

By gqduck | 0

#21233 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:51

Aren't you allowed to change into your outfit when you get to the convention?

By zachhh | 0

#21235 - Sunday 8 March 2009 12:54

stupid muggle.......

By Shippicus | 0

#21240 - Sunday 8 March 2009 13:02

ok. stupid motherf***er change when you get there. also. google. taxis. use them

By Tehalon | 0

#21243 - Sunday 8 March 2009 13:04

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By My_Little_Pony | 0

#21245 - Sunday 8 March 2009 13:05

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

iHaveADream_ | 0

#2065808 - Thursday 10 February 2011 8:29

I do , i like all the characters

By ubbernoob | 0

#21267 - Sunday 8 March 2009 14:00

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

spaerro | 8

#3534910 - Thursday 3 November 2011 6:03

You sir, need to die.

Reply

ashleyyyroseee | 16

#6445007 - Monday 26 October 2015 12:56

This wingman in particular portrays a huge role in the storyline