Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized... - FML

By WeezysBaby - 28/3/2009 22:13 - Canada

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

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Night terrors

Don't you know that you're toxic?

Toxic parents

By Anonymous - 6/1/2012 20:36 - Mexico

Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML

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By bucollegegirl - 8/10/2012 14:07 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

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By Lost - 15/9/2009 19:24 - United States

Today, I got rejected for approximately the tenth credit card I've applied for, I called a bank to find out why. Apparently I took out a car loan in 2004 and bought a house in 2006. I was 13 in 2004. The credit report does not have any records of this. Thank you identity theft. FML

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By Ages ago - 8/5/2019 10:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML

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By Chris - 23/12/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML

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By Foxy0706 - 10/11/2015 19:27 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML

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By lovergirl - 27/7/2017 12:00 - United States - Orem

Off to a good start!

Today, I received an email from a potential employer with an awesome job opportunity. I was so excited, I immediately went to forward the email to my husband. My email included a lot of "I love you" and "we are going to celebrate tonight ;)". In my excitement, I hit reply instead of forward. FML

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By PukinFireman - 17/10/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

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By Coley - 29/1/2009 22:46 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/7/2020 20:02

Horsing around

Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML

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By LD619 - 16/12/2010 05:51 - United States

Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2010 12:11 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend told me that if he was to break up with me, he would do it in a crowded location so I couldn't start to cry or make a scene. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/4/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/8/2019 20:00

Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML

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By OMGWTF - 13/8/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

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By sexyhobbit - 12/7/2014 00:26 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

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By Lady Douche of Asscrackington - 10/10/2013 20:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

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By Notthekeytosuccess - 12/4/2017 00:00

Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML

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By WronglySad619 - 26/1/2011 10:31 - United States

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

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By Tooloud - 24/3/2013 23:21 - Canada

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/4/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/4/2020 14:00

This is going well

Today, my husband is so bored with speaking to me, he literally walked outside when I was mid-sentence during a conversation about how I need more attention in our relationship. We've only been married 3 months. FML

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By Dispute - 8/8/2011 05:30 - Canada

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

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By Ouch - 17/3/2010 16:16 - United States

Today, I was walking down the hallway when someone opened a door, smashing it into me. The bump makes it look like I have a third boob. FML

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By Bandgeek - 16/3/2017 20:00

Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML

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By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

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By ckatia - 30/8/2016 09:29 - France - Paris

Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in front of my house, so I went up to it. To my delight it didn’t move, so I bent down to stroke it. Wrong call, it was a plastic bag. FML

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By yolonono - 4/12/2014 18:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/6/2010 10:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/8/2012 23:58 - Australia

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/5/2012 08:24 - Australia - Bairnsdale

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

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By Azure_Mist - 27/1/2011 22:53 - United States

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/8/2009 21:27 - Canada

Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML

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By NaKreen - 30/7/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

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By Sardine - 18/12/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. These kids started to fight and scream at each other. I leaned next to her and said, "Man am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML

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By uncomfortable - 12/3/2009 00:20 - Canada

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

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By doesntkissalot - 28/8/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

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By Uhh - 13/6/2011 16:12 - United States

Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/6/2019 00:01

Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of milk and he blows really hard, he can blow the milk out of his nose like twin fire hoses. I’ve washed the carpet twice in the past day, and my house still stinks of rotten dairy. FML

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By izaya - 5/7/2015 16:26 - United States - Muskogee

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

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Top comments

By totallytrucked | 0

#66785 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:03

ME TOO!!! He never said a thing.

By plethora | 3

#66789 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:05

Actually, with earlier versions of MSN, offline messages weren't delivered. You couldn't even talk to someone appearing offline.

COMMENTS

By KPACOTKA | 0

#66780 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:01

and?

Reply

caligurls | 0

#1072824 - Thursday 8 July 2010 4:06

aww that sucks I wouldve done the same thing! at least that was the past(:

Reply

tsim_fml | 0

#2387163 - Friday 22 April 2011 7:45

i think the "and...." is that she is embarresed because all the guys see that she typed in "I love you, your sexy, etc."

By totallytrucked | 0

#66785 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:03

ME TOO!!! He never said a thing.

Reply

omfgItzme | 0

#849327 - Friday 12 February 2010 21:03

lol at least he didn't say anytin offending

By baldivio | 0

#66787 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:03

it could have been worst or better... imagine if you used to type "i want to have sex with u ... "

Reply

SarahBearXoX | 0

#1006964 - Tuesday 25 May 2010 16:49

exactly I can think of way worse things lol

By plethora | 3

#66789 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:05

Actually, with earlier versions of MSN, offline messages weren't delivered. You couldn't even talk to someone appearing offline.

Reply

noroom | 0

#1053151 - Friday 2 July 2010 3:12

This person speaks the truth. I used to develop software for msn.

Reply

RadikulRam | 16

#4481814 - Friday 25 May 2012 21:45

"You couldn't even talk to someone appearing offline." But she was, meaning that he was getting her messages.
- Forgot I was on random FML's and posted on a 3yr old post... o.o

Reply

bteundeadmidget | 5

#4566056 - Thursday 14 June 2012 15:21

Lol well that makes two of us, but you will never see this comment anyways.

Reply

Bonzer | 2

#4622929 - Thursday 28 June 2012 1:06

I do that all the time. Damn! I did it again!

Reply

stedfastwolf | 11

#5092270 - Sunday 28 October 2012 23:48

I do it too.

Reply

tiernang | 21

#5846754 - Sunday 2 February 2014 19:25

im never coming back to this comment and im proud!

Reply

alphabetta | 23

#5853643 - Monday 10 February 2014 5:59

Same! ^_^

Reply

patrick227 | 1

#6010921 - Thursday 17 July 2014 20:16

I COME TO YOU FROM THE FUTURE!!!! STEVE JOBBS IS DEAD!

Reply

Mads_1234 | 28

#6020354 - Sunday 27 July 2014 4:41

I am here, the world didn't end in 2012, don't worry.

Reply

Jak0p | 25

#6190876 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:47

Okay boys, stop spamming this thread. Back to topic pls!
We still don't know if he never got the messages or if he just ignored them thinking op is crazy. I need answers...follow-up pls!

Reply

NamelessFace | 22

#6192902 - Thursday 5 February 2015 3:14

Six years later? Not gonna happen, bro.

Reply

JamisonB98 | 16

#6354669 - Sunday 19 July 2015 10:13

I'm in 2015. What's MSN Messaging...? All we have is Snapchat Chats...

Reply

Noelletakumi | 36

#6474816 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 8:32

Here from December 2015. Greetings from the past.

Reply

M3DO | 24

#6528765 - Friday 5 February 2016 0:40

Where's the follow up

Reply

RedheadFairy | 6

#6657210 - Monday 25 July 2016 13:17

Still waiting

Reply

pandor_fml | 24

#6690077 - Thursday 15 September 2016 17:11

OP will surely deliver

Reply

Noelletakumi | 36

#7553490 - Tuesday 17 October 2017 8:48

This FML is 8 years old now damn.

By drybamboo | 0

#66805 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:12

If you didn't get a message back saying that the message wasn't sent, it wasn't sent. If you sent it and nothing came back....well..heh, that kinda sucks.

By startarevolution | 0

#66811 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:17

D; That's kind of creepy yo.

Reply

silverstar210 | 0

#2645784 - Thursday 9 June 2011 3:07

bitch! like u would never do that, probably sitting on ur comp all day

Reply

ninalaura | 5

#4873085 - Wednesday 29 August 2012 13:42

You're creepy. And revoltingly trashy looking. Are you even in school?

Reply

idgafSOstfu | 15

#5554804 - Thursday 27 June 2013 10:51

Judgemental much?

Reply

dementxrs | 12

#5884403 - Friday 14 March 2014 7:13

bitch.

By Sciamachy | 0

#66812 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:17

Hmm... he stayed friends with you though, yes? He may not have reciprocated but he didn't block or avoid you. That's gotta be worth something surely. Go talk it over with him.

By xkaokaox | 0

#66821 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:24

you are creepy.

By xqme | 0

#66824 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:25

means you're pretty new to msn if you can send offline msgs dont worry about it unless you're a guy writing that to a girl.

any other person can get away with that without shooting themselves in the foot

By googlebot | 0

#66851 - Sunday 29 March 2009 10:47

yay internet