By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 590
You deserved it 18 490

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Top comments

bobbybill0519 7

One does not simply refuse a blowjob

You may be the first man in history to be called a jerk for refusing a BJ. Congratulations!

Comments

jacquesromualdez 12

Why did you get embarrassed all of a sudden?

Could've been part of a sudden, don't assume things.

Wow 18. I think my IQ just went down...

Theblackrose8 5

Eh, happened to me and my bf but in reverse. It just happens

silbot 11

He might not have shaved... He might not have showered... Basically he could have been hairy and dirty as fuck down there and that's why he was embarrassed

What the hell 62! Aren't you like 6?

You look like your 12.

1R1X0X0 10

You're :b

sillylillyxoxo 7

You look 14...

kattylizbeth 19

142- you have to be 13 to have an fml account. As a 14 year-old, I think people who think teens aren't smart or mature enough to be on here should get the eff off themselves. But, that's just me. Also, I frequently find that I am more mature than a lot of the 20-30 year old posters. Just saying.

149 - It's called lying about your age. The restriction means nothing.

artistvspoet16 6

I honestly laughed, ignore the down votes number 18!

flashback_fml 14

I think so lol

149- okay just chill out, the point of this website is for people to be able to post their opinions and say what they think there's no need to get cranky

magnetic_aura 26

#18 - I I thought this was clever and funny. Sorry you got voted down so much. I'd give you extra thumbs up if I could.

Why would you even feel embarrassed? Is your penis small or something?

Well, don't make assumptions or make OP feel bad because that could well be the case asshole

Girls get nervous too. Guys don't have to accept sex every time it's offered.

Eric125125 13

That makes it even funnier !!!!!

I used to refuse sex all the time with girls because it's almost impossible to find a casual way of saying "by the way I don't actually have a penis." My current girlfriend is AWESOME and doesn't care, but if you're dating someone new and maybe you're getting intimate for the first time it's very difficult to bring up things you're embarrassed about.

SenselessPattern 12

118 You sound like Jake Barnes...

125, I am fortunately not impotent. I function quite well actually! I'm just not the kind of man most people expect.

Well maybe it was his first BJ? That can be quite embarrassing or maybe he thought he needed to wash quickly or something. Shit happens, it's no big.

coolhandluke60 6

Haha agreed

Having a small penis is a disability you wouldn't make fun of guy in a wheelchair would you it's not something they can just simply change. Unless you got cash.

wtf^^ having a small penis isn't a disability

bobbybill0519 7

One does not simply refuse a blowjob

Does = Must

FACT! Unless you're in the closet???

Inheritance 10

How does one turn down a bj?

41, they say no

37, if you're the closet shit your eyes and imagine a guy?

Like I said in reply to "1", bj's are just uncomfortable awkward, and just plain un-enjoyable to me. I can't help but get the feeling that it's degrading to women.

50 how does one SHIT there eyes???

#69 they make it degrading in pornos. If a guy knows how to treat a girl the girl usually doesn't find it degrading

#91, is right. I never feel like less of a man or weaker if I go down on a woman. It makes me feel good that I can do something that pleases her, that she can just kick back and enjoy the experience. (I enjoy it too) so why would you assume you know how she feels about performing on you? It's rude to think for your partner, let her decide how she fells about it. If its bad or she doesn't enjoy it, trust her to tell you. That's how a good relationship works.

I'm a girl. I love giving blowjobs. I never feel degraded. Case closed.

One girls opinion on giving blow jobs does not close the case.

Stop being a prude dude.

sugarbear0727 19

I hate blowjobs. I'm good at them, but it's not my cup of tea. I do it to please my bf, because he likes them, and I love him.

I understand that she would be a bit disappointed however she doesn't need to think any less of you, that's just inconsiderate.

This would be me: Me- "Why love? What's wrong?" Boyfriend- "I would just rather please you" Me- "if that's what you want. I'm ok with pleasing you." In my head- I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!!!

I actually get what you mean OP. Most people need to feel pretty comfortable with both themselves and their partner before the intimacy of a blowjob. Show her how you feel about her and she won't feel inadequate.;)

Lol wtf? Must be some metro sexual beyotches. What happen to man hood?

Probably you word it wrong to get such misunderstanding. Just make it clear you got a little shy, and everything will be back to normal. (:

You may be the first man in history to be called a jerk for refusing a BJ. Congratulations!

This is exactly what I was thinking.

ApacheC424 18

There is a first time for everything.

perdix 29

The OP is like Sasquatch -- there are legends of a man who refuses blowjobs, but only crazy people believe he actually exists.

Or like the legend of the Stig on bbc top gear "some say he once refused a blowjob.."

I refuse them sometimes. Sometimes I just want to hear her satisfied.

yousuck44 11

Would you he felt better, if she had ripped the condom with her teeth?

zingline89 18

Never try too hard to reference an old FML :)

yousuck44 11

Thanks for the advice

Pervious FML ya? Don't get how it applies to this one though.... Anyone else get it?

zingline89 18

I turned down a bj once -said no man ever Jk OP, she'll get over it. Especially if you blow her mind with how well you blow her uh...ya know

perdix 29

It's you, sir, who is inadequate. Your Man Card is being revoked. Men learn how to handle rejection of their sexual advances, but turning down a woman is devastating. I'll probably get thumbed down to oblivion for pointing this out, but if you're a guy who wants to be with a woman, you've got to accept some sexual rejection from her (hopefully only occasionally), but be willing to perform for her on demand. Not fair, but that's the way it is. What did you say her number was?

zingline89 18

6

0800blowme

zingline89 18

Noor! That's my number! Now everyone on FML is going to call it, thanks a lot!

CharresBarkrey 15

16 - it's from a song...

zingline89 18

20 - I'm aware :)

BellaBelle_fml 23

20 - It's a joke…

mustangkid_2 2

I wonder if anyone has tried to call that number with their local area code... If so what happened?

The area code is 212 and the number is from up state New York. The lady paid almost $200,000 to get the number in an auction. Call her, she's lonely.

Octain 13

I tried :) number didn't exist :(

There were multiple area codes with the same number. Most, however, have been disconnected due to the non-stop ringing.

Nah. He should keep his man card. Teaching the girl a lesson. There are days when men don't feel "pretty" and feel fat and just want to drink beer and eat Bon bons on the couch on days like that. She should respect that.

The other famous one is in Vegas. Area code 775.

Area code 702 for Las Vegas.

No Vegas has two area codes now.