By rolyat - 01/05/2012 16:41 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 419
You deserved it 3 969

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Top comments

Next time if there if is a next time

Hey, they don't call it fun sized for nothing! ; )


Next time if there if is a next time

And if there is one, do the same thing to her vagina.

thiscrazything 1

Maybe you should "wait" until you find a better girlfriend. She does not sound like she is worthy of you.

Hard to judge that, 26. Considering that we know nothing about the OP.

ChronicBluntz420 7

It may be an inch, but its an angry inch >;D

tjv3 10

She don't want no short short man

45, so you're saying OP deserves to have a girlfriend who laughs at his goods? Personally I don't think anyone deserves that.

Maybe he needs to do a little maintenance and patch it up. Download and apply patch 2.0, that should fix your problems.

Oh yea, that's exactly what I said. Its not like I said its too vague to judge the situation. You don't know OP, nor do I. For all we know they could be the worst person in the world, or maybe the nicest. The point is WE DON'T KNOW. And so you know "we don't know if they deserve it" =/= "they deserve it". Don't jump to conclusions. (this being directed at 74). Either way I'm sure it will be down voted. Just getting in the last punch here.

italian_cows 4

She was probably used to circumcised penises... And yours was uncircumcised dick

Idonebeenhad 17

At least she didn't get one of those spontaneous headaches

OP- FYI sex dolls don't get allergies and they do what they're told! Tell her she has just been replaced.

CadillacPimpen 6

Just inform her that your a grower not a shower.

You're right!!! They don't!!!!

171- Are all of your comments meant to target the gramatical errors of others, even though the intent of their comments can be understood by most of the non-retarded community on this site?

184, people don't correct grammar so that dimwits can read it, it's to correct those who can't write a simple sentence without using the correct punctuation/spelling!

xCrazyMexican 4

Stop laughing and starting Sucking bitch!!!! I'm a virgin

Grammar_Nazi01 5

DTMFB. End of story.

nitemastr15 17

Grammar Natzi! We ain't gotta use no fancy grammar! Your just jealous that we can speak any ways we wants!

nitemastr15 17

Sorry, my last comment was for 171.

aimeesea75 16

Can't tell if trolling.. Or just very stupid..

141 - Don't buy that one: headaches shouldn't be a valid excuse, since sex is a natural antihistamine. :P

MiniNyn 5


Yeah...that was cold, OP. Sorry.

MichellinMan 20

wait until she sleeps, then pee all over her. not very clever, but that's what I'd do.

Hopefully she sleeps with her mouth open.

Awwwwwe 28, dissed by a 13 year old. Owned

And congratulations 13 year old. This is the first ever comment I've seen of yours that isn't thumbs down! But them again, scroll a few threads down...

# kindly fuck off with the YOLO crap

MiniNyn 5

Wow kayla. Way to make yourself look immature. Grats!

Wow. Just complimented you on your rare commenting success... And then you ruin it. Enjoy your negative thumbs

Hey, they don't call it fun sized for nothing! ; )

MiniNyn 5

That's the spirit!! haha

They don't even call it fun sized....

My fun-sized bag of butterfingers disagrees with you!

Maybe it's TOO big

...allergic to small weiners?

Tell her you are allergic to her Bullshit.

Time to stop ignoring those spam emails and see if the penis enlargement pills actually work. I joke! Sorry though, some girls are just bitches.

Could you define what you mean by some? Lol jk

Maybe it's crooked?

Captain Hook needs love too

jtsyanks 2

75 Win

88, I misunderstood what you were saying and the mental image of a penis with a 90 degree angle somewhere along the shaft is now burned into my mind.

ShadowCzar 5

How do i message you :(

Can you blame her? She probably wad shy about it and looked for any excuse to get away from it. Always Next time, Hopefully..

She's supposed to swallow it not snort it bud


bethanyjk 0

Not even funny loser

That didn't make sense at all... (At least to me.)

Somerandomkidz 0

Pretty sure it was pretty funny.... Troll

You look like you got left out in the sun and you aren't funny.

Honestly i am sorry because that sucks more than her.

Apparently part of the problem is she isn't sucking.

Yes that is why it sucks MORE than her?

You should be proud of a small dick! The lengths not there, but it's thick. Well I hope for your sake it is.. Or you have a noodle-dick?

may651 14

Size doesn't matter as long as you know how to use it.

^Not the size of the boat; its the motion of the ocean eh? Well it takes a long time to get to China in a row boat. ;)

Size does matter..

afunnyterdcody 5

It's the girth that gets them, bitches in hung like a coke can

mhopper 13

Actually size doesn't matter. If a guy has a large penis but only lasts for a minute, it's a total waste. If a guy is decent sized, lasts for 20+ minutes and makes it interesting, it clearly makes for better sex than minute man.

It's true! As long as the guy has the right moves he could be 10X better than a guy who is hung and vice versa of course (;

Yeah but if the guy is bigger AND lasts however many minutes and makes it interesting then he wins every time..

201 must feel like he's finally part of something

lexiale 10

Hey #134 u forgot to add your face to the picture...whoops