By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 407
You deserved it 4 598

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Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.

That is a no bueno.

Comments

That is a no bueno.

His long-long -childhood- sweetheart? Dang, kids arestarting early this generation. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

wata buzzzkill , ruined a goood time :P

Wow, major FYL. That guy is very inconsiderate to bring up someone else during such an intimate moment..

long-lost childhood sweetheart? whoa, when I was eight, I use to use my mouth to argue with people over who's light up shoe is the coolest, not to give a BJ :P

When I was a kid I thought I'd get pregnant from being kissed on the cheek but I'm only 15 so I guess I'm different then my generation.

HEY ME TOO!!! I ALWAYS USED TO ARGUE ABOUT HOW COOL MY SHOES WERE! I HAD LIGHT UP SHOES UNTIL.... well now.

lol ik... light up shoes were the COOLEST!!!!:D

why did my comment about light up shoes and BJs get deleted? lol(:

I'll melt in your mouth not in your hands

You must obtain his man card, and turn it in at once. and yes you have to do it, he does not even deserve the honor of turning it in himself. The bright side for you op though is that you have full rights to keep his balls in your purse, but don't worry, they won't take up too much space.

that's when you bite his dick to make sure he doesn't mention her again. lol

Tastes like teen spirit!

be quiet mad girls, you're all just mad that you don't have a guy who cares about emotions because you date jerks. it is okay if he burst into treats, it shows he is human and has feelings too. he doesn't only want sex because he has a genuine care for people

I am available. When the boyfriend can't get it done, the situation will step up to hit a homer

Wish I could burst into treats too.

Squirmy worm in you mouth 0.0

119 is gay. Sorry but if a guy starts crying over someone a long time ago, he is clearly not ready for another relationship, and he's a pansy. And not to be stereotypical, but I haven't cried over a relationship and I'm a girl. I would laugh if he started crying mid-blowjob because of how ridiculous it is.

Jammy01jams 2

131 = Heartless bitch. You know there's this thing it's called feelings. Clearly this guy wasn't ready, I don't blame him though breaking up with someone you loved is hard, and getting into a new relationship is the easiest way for a guy to move on and try to forget.

But you shouldn't put someone else through that if you're getting over someone. If it bothers then that much, then they should go through a healing process, but don't bring someone else into the mix, making it harder.

That is a "no good" 0.o Lol improv Spanish :D

lol 40 you're stupid as hell.

chickenpie90 16

LOL

43 heelis or wutever the hell they are used to be the shit when u were like 7

68- 50 cent referance ftw

Actually 245, that's the M&M's candy slogan. Not a 50 Cent reference.

Haha never again

Guys can burst into treats?? Whoa!

119: I'd be so mad if my boyfriend did this, not because he's crying but because he's mentioning an ex-lover in the presence of his current one which is really rude. There are very few off limits topics for relationships, but exes is definitely one and anyone with half a brain should know that.

Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.

I wonder is OP dumped him.That would get a RISE out of him.

She couldn't keep him up, or something happened to keep his sweetheart and him apart. Which both options 'suck' for OP.

Well played sir.

brofist it. leave it to females to think they're always right and men are left at fault

limp weenie alert

It puts a whole new spin on "melts in your mouth, not in your hand"!!

www mushy penis

Omnomnomnomnom *shudder*

Like applesauce!!!

Or jello after a trip through the blender!!! :D

90-I sooo did not need discussion about a blender and a penis in the same post lol.

www mushy penis? Is that a url? www.mushypenis.op?

90- Jello thru a blender would result in chopped pieces of jello Hopefully you are not implying that the same result happened to the OP's BF D: If so, OP must've been pretty dang pissed that he went all buzzkill on her

what about a penis in the shap of a blender? omnomnomnom daiquiri?

I meant eww mushy penis

All the cool kids in elementary school did it.

So the OP gives head like 10 year old. Upsetting

It could mean they started liking eachother early in their childhood but the childhood lover couldve went down on him when she was in her teens

Wow. But shouldn't that be a turn off for you..?

Thank you captain obvious.

^idiom alert!!! :D

Some of us are slow... and them some are SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

i think that comment was so stupid, i found it funny and thumbe it up

why can't anyone here spell?

230 - The same reason nobody can capatalize letters.

*capitalize Unless that was on purpose, in which case I lol'd.

i ttally agree! r thees peepole stoopid err sumting??

So try going harder? Maybe doing it more sexy?

Do I need to repeat what I told #6? genius!

It would seem so

Ahem. From what I understood, he was turned off by her, therefor she should probs go down on him in a different was maybe being more sexy less memory filled

Were you born an idiot, or was it a gradual evolution?

So your the: "pro of blow"...lol haha

what's wrong with that guy..seriously lolz

Men have emotions too. Shit happens. Make him feel better

She was trying...

I thiink he was talking to the ppl saying the guy was a jerk? but yea I agree

Yes, but to be thinking of the ex instead of enjoying the efforts of his here & now girlfriend is selfish and pointless. He can have that emotion alone.

A bj should make anybody feel better

Unless said BJ by ex-sweetheart was terrible enough to guarantee a flacid penis

Who cries when they're about to get a bj... You probably bit him

his poor Jim Dangle...

She bit just like whatsherface.. -sob-

You said the same thing on the other FML. Which also didn't make sense. So please shut the fuck up.

The pain feels good ;)