Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant.... - FML

By familydisaster - United States

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

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Instadrama

Emergency haircut

Freak out

By Just an Exam - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on his final exam. I confronted him after class by jokingly asking, "If you cheated on a test, would you cheat on me?" Turns out that yes, yes he would, and he did. FML

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By whitey - Australia

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Oakland

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

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By elliekilroy - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

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By trippybmth - United States

Today, after doing tons of research on a wand my little brother wanted for Christmas, I finally found one on eBay for $60. After already giving my credit card info and confirming the purchase, my dad called me and told me he found the exact same one for six bucks at a local toy store. FML

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By Sara246 - Canada

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

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By Danielle22291 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, as a waitress at Denny's, I had a 25 top table. Only 3 of them spoke English. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish over the webcam lens on my laptop because "It wasn't all black, so I decided to fix it." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

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By Fubar0906 - United States

Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML

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By kiriakousauce21 - France

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

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By Alex - Belgium

Today, I was notified that I've been going to the wrong courses for 4 weeks. A friend of mine was the only person to tell me that the administration had taken the privilege to change my courses. I have now failed 5 courses due to absences and have been suspended from college for 6 months. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

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By inchetogb - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

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By Fox - United States

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

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By fuji

Today, I was pulled over and given a ticket for a broken tail light. On the way to the mechanic. To get my tail light fixed. FML

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By grovage - United States

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

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By funkyhed84 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I answered the door to two Mormon girls from America. I live in the UK and am not religious at all, but I was too polite to slam the door and ended up letting them in. An hour later, a copy of 'The Book of Mormon' and 'My Pathway to Baptism' and I think I'm now a Mormon. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/3/2020 21:10

The Good Grandson

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

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By xXPikachuXx

Today, after 3 months of job hunting, I finally got a job. But now my birth certificate and social security card are somehow lost, and I can't start until I let them see a copy. FML

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By Anonymous

"At least you've got a job" - Mr. Missingthepoint

Today, I drove an hour to work, did nothing for 8 hours, drove an hour back, and then studied for 4 hours. This has been happening for weeks. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

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By UnluckyGroom - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

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By musicislife1337 - Canada

Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

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By doblex - United States

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

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By Alex

Today my brother, instead of filming me during my very first musical presentation in New York, took 45 pictures of the sexy trumpeter that was two rows behind me. With MY camera. FML

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By yes i meant ex-boyfriend - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML

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By my first job - Canada - Westerose

Today, after working for 12 hours in the cold rain on muddy terrain, my coordinator drove down a hill and didn't come back. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, forced to walk two hours uphill back to HQ to find him there. FML

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By Anonymous - India

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the guy I've liked for a long time. He's a cashier at a grocery store. It was about 1am and I was his last customer, everything seemed just right. Just when I was about to ask him to the movies, a drunk girl stumbles in and asks him out. He said yes. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML

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By insomnitude - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

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By teacher - Australia - Sydney

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

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By anonymous - Canada - Victoria

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

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By BadDad - United States - San Diego

Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML

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Top comments

By Hendy93 | 0

#458707 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:07

I'd say sue the little brat.

By teehee520 | 0

#458716 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:13

Karma's gonna get to her eventually.

COMMENTS

By uj_fml | 4

#458699 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:04

Poor darling

Reply

no1askdu | 5

#458755 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:40

is his daughter George Washington

Reply

KumoFF7 | 3

#459325 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 18:00

wow, original.

Reply

rossea | 21

#6219773 - Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:24

OP why didn't you report the daughter when you first noticed her stealing? I know it doesnt mention it but you've clearly seen her doing it if you know she's stealing money little by little

By lonelyinMA | 0

#458700 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:05

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By Hendy93 | 0

#458707 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:07

I'd say sue the little brat.

Reply

rfarock88 | 0

#459677 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 20:15

I'd say, with the job alredy lost, beat the shit outta her.

Reply

thyaftermath | 0

#459762 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 20:37

i agree
Fuck that bitchs ass
rape her on the cash register
and when you're about to cum
hit the "BING" on the counter,
and then stuff the cash from the register in her mouth.

Reply

Sharrakor | 0

#459933 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 21:30

Never before have I read about rape and laughed.

Congratulations!

Reply

bbq45 | 0

#460228 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 23:10

haha brilliant.

Reply

subtlelimeshot | 0

#461277 - Thursday 6 August 2009 4:54

lmao
its okay, the business will collapse if the whore keeps stealing money
oh yeah and when u fuck her, take naked pics of her and send them to your ex boss

Reply

DameGreyWulf | 0

#463602 - Thursday 6 August 2009 21:23

Fuck that gave me brilliant ideas. Thanks 40.

Anyway, OP, you have to do something about it, because you never know when that will come and bite you in the ass.
God I HATE people like that; people who think their children/family are fucking saints. Buuuuughhhh.

Reply

Sunbolt | 0

#817389 - Tuesday 2 February 2010 2:59

congradulations you are now on the FBI watchlist. See you around.

By _Noon_ | 0

#458711 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:10

But if you knew she was the one stealing all that money, why didn't you say anything?

Reply

blalien | 0

#458727 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:19

Yeah, YDI for not ratting out the daughter.

After you're fired, if the daughter is still stealing money, maybe the boss will apologize to you.

Reply

anthropophagite | 0

#458744 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:34

Even if you rat on the daughter, who says he's going to believe you?
Would you believe YOUR daughter, or some bloke who's been working for you for maybe 12 months (even if it's longer, it's still less time than he's known his daughter).

Reply

blalien | 0

#458861 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 14:38

It's still his obligation to at least try.

Reply

divineinstrument | 2

#459209 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 17:00

What are you talking about. Of course he ratted the daughter out. Did you not read the FML?

Reply

blalien | 0

#461376 - Thursday 6 August 2009 5:39

It sounds like the OP didn't rat out the daughter until after the OP was accused by the boss. It was the OP's duty to inform the boss as soon as he caught the daughter stealing.

Reply

Link5794 | 16

#1357477 - Sunday 5 September 2010 23:20

I think the OP just found out.

By teehee520 | 0

#458716 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:13

Karma's gonna get to her eventually.

Reply

joanjett | 0

#1295010 - Tuesday 24 August 2010 16:05

Cuz karma's a bitch.

Reply

johobus28 | 26

#6071953 - Tuesday 23 September 2014 5:31

Not if nepotism is as alive and well as it is today

By sireen | 0

#458724 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 12:18

is this restaurant so ghetto that they don't have any cameras? at all?

Reply

MetalHead1357 | 0

#458776 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 13:09

where im from most if not all restaurants do not have cameras. so i can see why the one he was working at didnt

Reply

theta_fml | 0

#459668 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 20:14

@#11
Wow your part of the world is pretty stupid.

By Kiwi_Splash | 0

#458770 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 13:02

Well, you didn't really expect the owner to believe you, an employee, over his daughter. It's harsh, but c'est la vie.

Reply

janiepish | 4

#4122895 - Monday 5 March 2012 6:09

C'est la vie

By Jimboom | 11

#458816 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 13:50

YDI, if you knew about this you should have gotten some evidence (set up a camera or something) and taken it to your boss.

Still. That does suck.

By Suree | 0

#458835 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 14:11

Not sure how badly you needed the job, but from the looks of it I'd say good to be out. The boss will find out eventually, but don't expect him to remember you at that time.

By zcalo | 0

#458836 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 14:13

That fuckin' blows. FYL. There was nothing you could do about it. The boss/father would have never believed you even if his daughter was caught on camera.