Work: Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof...

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 11:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 436

You deserved it 3 569

Work

Stop talking!

Mother of the year

Judge not lest ye be judged

By Chuffy - 04/11/2012 07:28 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 183

You deserved it 2 288

By L0L59 - 07/09/2018 14:30

Today, I got my braces checked by another orthodontist since I've had them for years and my teeth never got the way they should be. After 8 years and 27 x-ray exams, my orthodontist didn't do much except loosen the root of the tooth to the point where I can move it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 856

You deserved it 177

By rmonk - 24/02/2016 13:13 - United States - Naperville

Today, I went to my required district science fair with my project about gliders and was a bit unprepared in terms of personal knowledge on the science behind gliders. I was hoping I would get a judge who didn't know a lot about aerodynamics. One of my judges was a glider pilot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 674

You deserved it 22 831

By Anonymous - 23/05/2014 22:06 - Canada - Oakville

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 512

You deserved it 15 846

By Anonymous - 05/02/2014 01:03 - United States - Bay Shore

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 925

You deserved it 8 003

Awkward

By Lio - 12/11/2008 05:25 - France

Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to a new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 056

You deserved it 41 760

By bbns - 14/01/2009 11:57 - Germany

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 293

You deserved it 2 733

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 14:28 - United States

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 190

You deserved it 11 296

By foretwintie - 06/06/2009 11:18 - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 151

You deserved it 8 257

By anonymous - 25/02/2016 21:55 - United States

Today, my husband, who has been in a coma for 5 weeks, woke up. When I went to visit him, the first thing he did was try and continue the argument we had been having before he crashed the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 853

You deserved it 2 405

By carssuck - 02/02/2012 10:28 - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 366

You deserved it 2 511

By bouncekitty - 20/02/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 339

You deserved it 5 432

By Jason - 05/02/2018 15:30 - United States - Kenai

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is actually a man. Not a transgender person, I'm okay with that, but an actual gay man who gets a kick out of pranking other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 447

You deserved it 978

By Quendolin - 09/11/2015 14:07 - Germany

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 802

You deserved it 2 562

By Tanner - 07/04/2012 02:26 - United States - Salem

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 501

You deserved it 10 715

By hailey - 10/12/2012 05:10 - United States - Bethesda

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 6 716

By 751920 - 03/02/2009 08:49 - Canada

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 041

You deserved it 3 309

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 600

You deserved it 5 452

Take the L

By slowrunner - 22/04/2009 13:20 - United States

Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 521

You deserved it 7 576

By jamisbetter - 11/04/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 831

You deserved it 18 932

By MY CAR - 15/11/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 851

You deserved it 11 100

Catfished

By phonesage - 13/12/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 592

You deserved it 10 428

Crashtony Cartano here

By Anonymous - 05/11/2020 23:03

Today, my husband sped my car up to 80 in a 30, and almost crashed, which would have killed us both. What did I do to set him off? I played a song he didn't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 128

By Dogsbody - 27/05/2019 02:30

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 225

By Pukey - 28/03/2015 21:30 - United States

Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 544

You deserved it 2 182

By Janet - 10/03/2009 13:02 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 020

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 101

You deserved it 36 165

By skygardens - 21/08/2018 15:00

Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 431

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 10:26 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 460

You deserved it 3 108

By StairwayToEvan92 - 24/09/2018 13:30

Today, I ran over a recently-killed skunk in the road. My truck now smells absolutely rancid, and the smell will probably last for months. At least it goes well with my dog, who was also skunked 6 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 022

You deserved it 274

By Anonymous - 30/03/2019 22:00

Today...I started my day with a head cold and sore throat. I am ending the day with my period and explosive diarrhea. Oh and to top it all off, I live in the midwest, where the wind chills are going to be -50 tomorrow...FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 149

By anonymous - 07/12/2015 13:28 - United States - Mandeville

Today, my dad read that if you pass gas from both ends at the same time it will create a vacuum inside your body and you'll implode. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 310

You deserved it 1 670

By RoyallyGrossedOut - 19/06/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 312

You deserved it 5 748

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 257

You deserved it 2 444

By purplepixie23 - 22/09/2018 14:00

Today, it's -5°C outside and snowing and it's only September. If that wasn’t bad enough, we aren't allowed to have the heat on at work due to a menopausal monster who loses her shit and throws things if we turn it on. I can't feel my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 185

You deserved it 220

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 02:03 - United States

Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 064

You deserved it 17 566

Gas giant

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 02:01

Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 200

By boned - 27/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 355

You deserved it 3 297

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 15:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 109

You deserved it 12 443

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 672

You deserved it 6 128

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Top comments

Batkid217 14

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:04

crazy kids and their drama class. of course he was under make up to look over 60!

bethanyhopkins 49

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:04

Wow, your boss is an idiot

bethanyhopkins 49

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:04

Wow, your boss is an idiot

mushroomcassette 21

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 7:49

His EX-boss is an idiot.

vampire623 6

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Thursday 21 May 2015 3:16

not really some places it's company policy to ask any one no matter there age

Stiggy626 25

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Sunday 21 January 2018 6:22

Indiana law requires you to ask everyone. or people who look under 40 for cigarettes

Batkid217 14

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:04

crazy kids and their drama class. of course he was under make up to look over 60!

GigaPudding_fml 24

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 15:41

That actually happened where I live haha. A 12 or 13 year old kid dressed up as an old lady with make up and everything and managed to buy alcohol

jadenjacksonm 14

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 19:51

Number 78 how'd you figure it out? Or did you know the whole time and let him walk out.....

GigaPudding_fml 24

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 20:15

Oh it didn't happen to me personally! I read about it in the paper: http://www.goteborgdaily.se/teen-dressed-as-a-granny-fools-systembolaget

christian1509 21

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:06

Sometimes it's obvious, but where I work it's required no matter what. I'll often joke with the customer about the policy when it's obvious they aren't under age

whitnayfortooh 29

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 5:13

I love getting asked to show ID because for some reason people think I'm well into my 30's :/

Steffi3 40

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:06

If he wasn't, I'm not getting whatever skincare product they're using

meliodafool_ 15

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:45

"Epidermists love him."

isisorchid 16

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 18:44

Dermatologists?

thatnucca 36

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:07

Sometimes when it's strictly by the book thing, it just it... You have a valid point and so does he... Sorry, you had to lose your job over it... A reprimand would have sufficed though...

JonBall 17

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:07

It's totally illegal to do that, anyone over the age of 35 or looks over the age of 35 does not need to be IDed and the fact they fired you because of that could be a lawsuit for unlawful termination.

AllieCat21 21

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:58

depends on where you are, in Wisconsin it's 40

hacksaw246 24

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 1:12

You can't pull that lawsuit card in every state. Virginia is a right to work state. If they want to fire you they can without reason.

booze_n_bitches 35

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 1:25

In the UK it's 25, although that's not even the law.

NostalgiaFreak9 40

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 4:31

Some bars and liquors stores have policies where they have to card everyone, no matter how old they look.

Villy23 12

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 9:25

Wrong, each state has their own law, and each company has their own policies. You can't just make a stupid sweeping statement like that.

rocker_chick23 27

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 19:27

It isn't illegal everywhere. The store near me has to card everyone regardless if they look old.

Reasonable_one 12

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 21:38

Not needing to be carded and must not be carded are completely different. That law just means you or your business will not be in trouble for not making sure someone is of age if they appear over 40 or what ever the age is. Kind of a dumb law because what if you don't card someone that is 38 because you thought they looked 40? Anyway, it is up to the business if they want to card everyone, and many places do have "we card EVERYONE" policies. There is nothing illegal about that and you can get fired if you violate the policies of your employer.

fpants2010 18

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:08

Is there someone higher up than your manager you can speak to? Surely someone there is smarter than him! Good luck OP!

Cathrin 26

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:09

There are medical conditions that can cause a person to age more rapidly, so your boss's fears aren't entirely without merit. But, as #3 said, it was still wrong of him to fire you for that because it was more likely he really was that old, and anyone who would penalize you for making the obvious assumption probably isn't someone you want as a superior.