Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video...

By SweetDreamsTibi - 10/02/2019 12:00

Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 168

You deserved it 1 234

Empathy lives

Slow moving accident

Yada yada yada

By isystuff - 01/02/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 261

You deserved it 3 208

By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 14:26 - Italy - Bologna

Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 861

You deserved it 1 252

By me - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 978

You deserved it 35 294

RBF FML

By isabelle - 25/10/2021 01:59

Today, my mom grounded me for “giving her a dirty look.” I cannot sense or control my own facial expressions, and they almost never match my mood. I was in a good mood when said “dirty look” appeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 101

Keep out

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 13:57

Today, I had to create a new password for my computer. I had to do it to stop my father from watching porn on my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 90

By Kfeaaa - 24/02/2009 02:31 - United States

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 883

You deserved it 7 549

He will

By Elissa Roth Gooden - 06/04/2020 14:00

Today, I actually got to meet actor George Takei. He was really sweet and charming, and I was just thrilled. When we parted, I wanted to say either, "I'll always remember this" or "I'll never forget this." It came out as, "I'll never remember this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 331

Survivalists celebrate Halloween too

By IHaveThePower - 01/11/2021 08:00

Today, in Nevada during Halloween night, I discovered my neighbors have something that sounds an awful lot like an explosive. I can't see anything on fire, but WHY do my neighbors have EXPLOSIVES? FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 146

By auscop - 17/09/2009 10:57 - Australia

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 624

You deserved it 85 834

By Boothater - 03/04/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 517

You deserved it 59 992

Sins of the Mother

By speedster - 24/06/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, I asked my science teacher if he'd had my mom when she went to my high school. He took one look at me, glared, and said, "Oh yeah, I remember HER." I have that class every day the rest of the year. Thanks a lot, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 254

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 387

You deserved it 5 138

By thatsureshowedme - 08/11/2014 20:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 055

You deserved it 30 369

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 275

You deserved it 1 874

First time

By februarymarchapril - 04/02/2015 03:45 - United States - Austin

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 637

You deserved it 42 770

By Jen - 20/10/2016 16:32

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 703

You deserved it 609

By ANON - 18/03/2016 16:04 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went straight from work to a blind date, and I decided to change in my car at the parking lot. Someone pulled up next to me as I had my ass to the window. It was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 630

You deserved it 8 571

Stop doing this

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 22:01

Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 66

This is America

By AngryBlackMan - 03/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, I'm a gay, black man who moved to a racist, mainly white, homophobic town for work. I've already had the cops called on me twice, and a group of teens yelled the f-slur at me unprompted. When I asked my boss if I could swap, he threatened to fire me. This is gonna be a long 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 195

By shouldagone2work - 24/09/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, while on my first day off in 2 years, I decided to play online poker. I won over $3,000. While filling out my information to get the money the power went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 956

You deserved it 4 705

By benji - 01/11/2011 19:02 - United States

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 367

You deserved it 38 485

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 599

You deserved it 3 253

By phlyingphuck - 31/08/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 574

You deserved it 7 859

By anonymous - 21/10/2009 22:40 - France

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 786

You deserved it 7 141

By deliveryboy - 05/03/2011 15:46 - China

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 660

You deserved it 8 839

By ljd09 - 04/11/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I watched my car roll backwards on the freeway, while attached to the tow truck that I was sitting in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 471

You deserved it 2 446

By buckley456 - 28/05/2012 03:33 - United States - Glenolden

Today, my remote control airplane arrived in the mail. I was super excited, so naturally I took it outside for its first flight. It now resides at the top of the tallest tree in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 740

You deserved it 8 925

By m - 05/08/2012 00:44 - United States - South Whitley

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 152

You deserved it 1 996

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there awhile. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for "help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 800

You deserved it 4 519

By littlefinger - 11/03/2014 16:11 - United States - Foley

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 542

You deserved it 6 960

By Fat Arsed Lass - 01/06/2014 10:28 - New Zealand - East Tamaki

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 421

You deserved it 9 463

By oouchh - 24/07/2011 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 383

You deserved it 18 740

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 002

You deserved it 15 386

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 11:09

Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 54

Back to public transport

By Dante - 30/11/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It's going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers' spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 007

You deserved it 2 668

Don't flush them

By failallday - 07/08/2014 09:09 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 095

You deserved it 4 739

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 188

You deserved it 3 682

By xxx - 03/10/2015 13:38 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I watched porn on my phone for the first time and it went black and shut down. In reality my phone just died. But I thought for a few seconds the government found me out. Paranoia much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 123

You deserved it 8 300

By Anonymous - 18/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 484

You deserved it 3 244

Love is hell

By singlepringle - 07/04/2021 01:57 - United States

Today, I was having a chuckle at the girl who used to torment me since she’s on her fourth marriage. Then I realized she’s gotten four handsome, rich men to marry her, while I’m still hopelessly single and haven’t had a boyfriend since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 313

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Dave_Davington 33

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 12:03

I'm sure if he'd stood in front of you naked and started helicoptering his dick around while you're trying to do one of your hobbies, you'd be pissed off with zero self awareness whatsoever, no?

Mr_Mole 24

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 13:01

What you mean is you wanted attention and thought his interests of little importance. Would you like it if you were watching a film and he started twerking in front of the TV?

Dave_Davington 33

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 12:03

I'm sure if he'd stood in front of you naked and started helicoptering his dick around while you're trying to do one of your hobbies, you'd be pissed off with zero self awareness whatsoever, no?

Iamthebanzai22 18

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 12:24

Aaand that is why only gamers think that gamers are cool. The rest of us think they are idiots.

DraftHail614 17

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 15:51

It's cool. We don't you guys either. Not like gamers for the most part are rather intelligent and decent people. Stay in your bubble

tounces7 27

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 17:05

I've been a gamer literally since I was 5, and if a woman started dancing half naked in front of the TV, I'd just put it down. There's a difference between being a gamer, and having an addiction.

Canny87 13

Send a private message

Monday 11 February 2019 1:08

There's also a difference between games you can pause whenever you like and resume and ones you can't because it's online and requires teamwork and communication. Pretty sure your mates wontnlike the next time you come back since you left them in the blink of an eye

Iamthebanzai22 18

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 19:11

Amen to that..

Squidgegg 4

Send a private message

Monday 11 February 2019 2:18

Not gonna lie, I prefer a woman who is direct and polite about what they want. Getting all up in front of something I'm doing will only annoy me.

Mr_Mole 24

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 13:01

What you mean is you wanted attention and thought his interests of little importance. Would you like it if you were watching a film and he started twerking in front of the TV?

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 15:18

You need to get rid of the panties! He’s a gamer — he wants to see your Xbox.

Takegami 22

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 15:35

Standing in front of the TV while he’s trying to do something? Rude

Nico711 17

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 16:17

F his life. You thought nothing of his hobbies, and assumed that he was going to immediately jump off his couch and have sex. YDI

tounces7 27

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 17:04

Wow he's dumb. That's like every gamer's dream, if they're straight. And yes, I grew up playing video games and still do. Sex still trumps video games though.

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 18:57

I’ve never understood this. Ladies can spend hours mindlessly drooling at reality TV. But video games are somehow more childish. Even my exwife, who’d play on our Xbox 20 or 30 hours a week. Would still get mad at me for playing about 4 to 6 hours on the weekend. And I’d stop playing when she woke up. Although I’d still jump up at the chance to play with her.

Squidgegg 4

Send a private message

Monday 11 February 2019 2:20

That's not 'ladies', man. That's just assholes. I ain't watched an hour of reality TV in my life and I literally half hour ago finished a game. Would I be pissed off if somebody got in the way of my TV? Yes. Would I be pissed off if a significant other was playing games all the time? No, because I do it too. You need better people in your life.

DanaeZee 18

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 20:03

Female gamer here, I love my husband to bits... and he respects me playing and would never interrupt me. You ARE a gamer's nightmare.

TumblrweedPasses 11

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2019 20:30

He was probably just in the zone with his game, why not ask to play games with him once he's finished what he's doing Then after you can head to the bedroom