Work: Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch....

By Shane - 08/02/2011 07:58

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 129

You deserved it 32 190

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Same thing different taste

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 150

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 756

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 400

You deserved it 54 540

By akasha - 06/04/2012 06:15 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 982

You deserved it 2 610

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 482

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 05:50 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 757

You deserved it 49 072

By susan - 24/02/2010 01:26 - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 431

You deserved it 3 288

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 900

You deserved it 5 800

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:01

Today, after a particularly nasty shit, I decided to do one extra pass with a diaper wipe. What I didn't realize was that my wife had refilled the normal container with a pack of Clorox wipes by mistake. My asshole has never burned so fiercely in my 30+ years of life as it did in those following moments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 182

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 500

Superflyshyguy 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:15

"Up until I was 18, I thought you only had to wipe once after taking a dump. I just figured an itchy butt and brown underwear streaks were a part of life." -Thad Cassel.

Trace01m 11

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:29

Maybe just reach back and scratch your ass.. I think it would be much more effort to use plywood..

Comments

zacharytk72 5

Tuesday 8 February 2011 15:58

hahahhaha

DahkLohd 4

Tuesday 8 February 2011 17:10

Should have stuck your wood up her ass.

rallets 22

Wednesday 9 February 2011 0:19

"im scratching my ass with this plywood, **** it look like" theres your response lol

IStoleTheCookies 16

Wednesday 9 February 2011 10:25

Rofl xD Tbh if it was me i'd just stand there and laugh.

gamercanadian 11

Thursday 10 February 2011 9:55

ROTFL LOL that's frkin hilarious dude

Rob207 3

Tuesday 8 February 2011 15:59

tell her to f off

beeship321 5

Tuesday 8 February 2011 20:39

Your picture wins beyond so many levels. :D

IStoleTheCookies 16

Wednesday 9 February 2011 10:27

I agree :D

monnanon 13

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:02

lol im assuming it wasnt down your trousers so whats the harm. If it was then your a silly arse for putting splinters in a sensitive area. Scratching your ass through overalls won't do any harm to the plywood so what was that womens problem.

purdygal 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:02

why didn't you go to the bathroom?!?YDI

Alexxcunningham 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:20

who goes to the bathroom to scratch their ass?

UpsidedownKayak 9

Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:42

He didn't go to the bathroom because he hadn't finished building it yet.

Graawr 7

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:06

Better be more careful. D:

MaximilianMarche 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 9:41

new pic

Superflyshyguy 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:15

"Up until I was 18, I thought you only had to wipe once after taking a dump. I just figured an itchy butt and brown underwear streaks were a part of life." -Thad Cassel.

banana_buddy 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:17

^lmao win quote

Sassybq1 13

Wednesday 9 February 2011 0:25

LMFAO!!!!!! that man is a genius lol

ajmb88 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 18:01

b.m.s. nothin but wisdom lol

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:17

Tell her that if she can't see that you are scratching your arse then she needs glasses, that and she shouldn't be on an active build site if she can't see that much!