Work: Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch....

By Shane - 08/02/2011 07:58

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 128

You deserved it 32 185

Work

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By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 777

You deserved it 99 755

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 05:50 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 756

You deserved it 49 061

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 753

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 300

You deserved it 8 352

By akasha - 06/04/2012 06:15 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 975

You deserved it 2 607

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 397

You deserved it 54 525

It's always when your hands are full that your nose starts to itch

By Mightytall - 05/10/2019 20:00

Today, I found the perfect position on the couch, both feet up comfortably and my two cats curled up in my lap. Then, my foot started to itch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 235

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 346

You deserved it 3 264

Creepy crawlies

By xUnluckyx - 18/03/2010 05:45 - Canada

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was wood chips that were behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 206

You deserved it 3 785

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 495

Superflyshyguy 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:15

"Up until I was 18, I thought you only had to wipe once after taking a dump. I just figured an itchy butt and brown underwear streaks were a part of life." -Thad Cassel.

Trace01m 11

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:29

Maybe just reach back and scratch your ass.. I think it would be much more effort to use plywood..

Comments

zacharytk72 5

Tuesday 8 February 2011 15:58

hahahhaha

DahkLohd 4

Tuesday 8 February 2011 17:10

Should have stuck your wood up her ass.

rallets 22

Wednesday 9 February 2011 0:19

"im scratching my ass with this plywood, **** it look like" theres your response lol

IStoleTheCookies 16

Wednesday 9 February 2011 10:25

Rofl xD Tbh if it was me i'd just stand there and laugh.

gamercanadian 11

Thursday 10 February 2011 9:55

ROTFL LOL that's frkin hilarious dude

Rob207 3

Tuesday 8 February 2011 15:59

tell her to f off

beeship321 5

Tuesday 8 February 2011 20:39

Your picture wins beyond so many levels. :D

IStoleTheCookies 16

Wednesday 9 February 2011 10:27

I agree :D

monnanon 13

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:02

lol im assuming it wasnt down your trousers so whats the harm. If it was then your a silly arse for putting splinters in a sensitive area. Scratching your ass through overalls won't do any harm to the plywood so what was that womens problem.

purdygal 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:02

why didn't you go to the bathroom?!?YDI

Alexxcunningham 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:20

who goes to the bathroom to scratch their ass?

UpsidedownKayak 9

Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:42

He didn't go to the bathroom because he hadn't finished building it yet.

Graawr 7

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:06

Better be more careful. D:

MaximilianMarche 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 9:41

new pic

Superflyshyguy 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:15

"Up until I was 18, I thought you only had to wipe once after taking a dump. I just figured an itchy butt and brown underwear streaks were a part of life." -Thad Cassel.

banana_buddy 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:17

^lmao win quote

Sassybq1 13

Wednesday 9 February 2011 0:25

LMFAO!!!!!! that man is a genius lol

ajmb88 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 18:01

b.m.s. nothin but wisdom lol

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 8 February 2011 16:17

Tell her that if she can't see that you are scratching your arse then she needs glasses, that and she shouldn't be on an active build site if she can't see that much!