Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
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By
Rebecca1993
| 0
._. boy do you know how to pick them.
By
xCrackerx
| 3
She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.
Comments
By
M13LO
| 0
you should have got busy since she was already there
Reply
powersmoke
| 0
You banged her afterwards, right?
Reply
keenanherlihy
| 0
i woulda
Reply
im_asian
| 0
i wouldnt. craziness is a turn off for me. unless shes got some epic tits.
Reply
czarofandronia
| 0
LMFAO
U should get a restraining order on that chick
U should get a restraining order on that chick
Reply
Quinzel_fml
| 0
i agree
Reply
Bcfrmkc816
| 17
why if a guy does something like that he is a creeper or perv but it's perfectly ok for a bitch to do it?
By
kerrygirl
| 13
furstttt
By
Rebecca1993
| 0
._. boy do you know how to pick them.
Reply
jessxoxo28
| 5
lmao, agreed
Reply
DizzyVulps
| 0
scary ._.
By
yes_im_hater
| 0
are you jesus? do you happen to work at a Record and Tape Traders?
Reply
greenltrn2003
| 0
well...of course. the bird is the word
Reply
quotecentral
| 0
LMFAO, thats what i was thinking : )
By
JustAReaderOfFml
| 4
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
KingAfter
| 0
of course it's an FML, I mean I guess he had a reason to break up with her and doesn't wanna have a relationship with her anymore, while she crazily does. but the really bad part about this is that she has a key... that's pretty creepy. if he does something she doesn't like she can sneak into his apartment and mess it up.
you should've seen the crazy eyes though, so YDI!
j/k FYL.
you should've seen the crazy eyes though, so YDI!
j/k FYL.
Reply
catastrophicsock
| 0
Hi. Please learn English/learn how to type. Thanks.
Reply
guy_whos_sad
| 0
Learn how to spell out words........
Reply
mrlucky4444
| 0
#5- first of all, learn how to spell
secondly, your story did not happen to your friend, you took it straight from the movie Paranormal Activity
secondly, your story did not happen to your friend, you took it straight from the movie Paranormal Activity
Reply
azhein
| 0
number 5 do you seriously think that was the fml?
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lagodfatha
| 0
um I don't understand ur story at all u confused the hell outta me
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Daemonknight
| 0
5, please stfu and get off the internet
Reply
Yaggi
| 0
#5 what you're referring to is the movie called paranormal activity.
Reply
kittydidit
| 0
LOL
Reply
Juliaa15
| 6
I'd have to agree with 111. The use of "totes" not only made me want to give a courtesy chuckle, but it totes wanted me to join in and troll too.
Reply
ArielTheMermaid
| 17
yeah I knew where it was going when he said micah
Reply
Bizenghastly
| 0
5- O_O I sincerely hope you are not as pathetically retarded in real life.
Reply
tifani322
| 13
Nobody cares...?
Reply
Hershey903
| 5
I really just wanna take your keyboard and hit you in the urethra with it.
That'll teach you to spell.
That'll teach you to spell.
Reply
kdog333
| 1
WTF?!
Reply
mahna_fml
| 3
Lulz Paranormal Activity.
By
flgirlwguitar
| 2
Shoulda changed the lock.
By
watchasay71
| 4
LOL it's funny yet disturbing at the same time.
By
xCrackerx
| 3
She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.
Reply
Rebecca1993
| 0
Lmfao.
Reply
jake040
| 3
dogs can't make sandwiches though
Reply
jake040
| 3
dogs can't make sandwiches though
By
sacman
| 0
what the christ?
Reply
Tigg3r
| 3
pun intended?
By
snafu57
| 1
does she look like Meryl Streep? fatal attraction if I ever heard one. she isn't afraid of commitment, though. that's a plus
Reply
waterynuggets
| 0
Nah I think it would help more if she resembled Glenn Close.