By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 356
You deserved it 3 664

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Top comments

Rebecca1993 0

._. boy do you know how to pick them.

She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.


M13LO 0

you should have got busy since she was already there

You banged her afterwards, right?

keenanherlihy 0

i woulda

i wouldnt. craziness is a turn off for me. unless shes got some epic tits.

czarofandronia 0

LMFAO U should get a restraining order on that chick

Quinzel_fml 0

i agree

why if a guy does something like that he is a creeper or perv but it's perfectly ok for a bitch to do it?

Rebecca1993 0

._. boy do you know how to pick them.

yes_im_hater 0

are you jesus? do you happen to work at a Record and Tape Traders?

greenltrn2003 0

well...of course. the bird is the word

LMFAO, thats what i was thinking : )

JustAReaderOfFml 4

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

of course it's an FML, I mean I guess he had a reason to break up with her and doesn't wanna have a relationship with her anymore, while she crazily does. but the really bad part about this is that she has a key... that's pretty creepy. if he does something she doesn't like she can sneak into his apartment and mess it up. you should've seen the crazy eyes though, so YDI! j/k FYL.

catastrophicsock 0

Hi. Please learn English/learn how to type. Thanks.

Learn how to spell out words........

mrlucky4444 0

#5- first of all, learn how to spell secondly, your story did not happen to your friend, you took it straight from the movie Paranormal Activity

azhein 0

number 5 do you seriously think that was the fml?

lagodfatha 0

um I don't understand ur story at all u confused the hell outta me

5, please stfu and get off the internet

#5 what you're referring to is the movie called paranormal activity.

I'd have to agree with 111. The use of "totes" not only made me want to give a courtesy chuckle, but it totes wanted me to join in and troll too.

ArielTheMermaid 17

yeah I knew where it was going when he said micah

5- O_O I sincerely hope you are not as pathetically retarded in real life.

tifani322 13

Nobody cares...?

I really just wanna take your keyboard and hit you in the urethra with it. That'll teach you to spell.

kdog333 1


Lulz Paranormal Activity.

Shoulda changed the lock.

LOL it's funny yet disturbing at the same time.

She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.

Rebecca1993 0


jake040 3

dogs can't make sandwiches though

jake040 3

dogs can't make sandwiches though

what the christ?

pun intended?

does she look like Meryl Streep? fatal attraction if I ever heard one. she isn't afraid of commitment, though. that's a plus

waterynuggets 0

Nah I think it would help more if she resembled Glenn Close.