By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 356
You deserved it 3 664
Miscellaneous
Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Rebecca1993 0

._. boy do you know how to pick them.

123 2
Reply Report
xCrackerx 3
Send a private message

She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.

70 1
Reply Report
Next

Comments

M13LO 0

you should have got busy since she was already there

25 5
Reply Report
powersmoke 0
Send a private message

You banged her afterwards, right?

4 4
Reply Report
keenanherlihy 0

i woulda

3 2
Reply Report
im_asian 0
Send a private message

i wouldnt. craziness is a turn off for me. unless shes got some epic tits.

9 1
Reply Report
czarofandronia 0

LMFAO U should get a restraining order on that chick

7 0
Reply Report
Quinzel_fml 0

i agree

2 1
Reply Report
Bcfrmkc816 17
Send a private message

why if a guy does something like that he is a creeper or perv but it's perfectly ok for a bitch to do it?

0 0
Reply Report
Rebecca1993 0

._. boy do you know how to pick them.

123 2
Reply Report
jessxoxo28 5
Send a private message

lmao, agreed

1 1
Reply Report
yes_im_hater 0

are you jesus? do you happen to work at a Record and Tape Traders?

37 4
Reply Report
greenltrn2003 0

well...of course. the bird is the word

5 0
Reply Report
quotecentral 0
Send a private message

LMFAO, thats what i was thinking : )

0 2
Reply Report
JustAReaderOfFml 4

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Report
KingAfter 0
Send a private message

of course it's an FML, I mean I guess he had a reason to break up with her and doesn't wanna have a relationship with her anymore, while she crazily does. but the really bad part about this is that she has a key... that's pretty creepy. if he does something she doesn't like she can sneak into his apartment and mess it up. you should've seen the crazy eyes though, so YDI! j/k FYL.

2 3
Reply Report
catastrophicsock 0

Hi. Please learn English/learn how to type. Thanks.

10 1
Reply Report
guy_whos_sad 0
Send a private message

Learn how to spell out words........

4 1
Reply Report
mrlucky4444 0

#5- first of all, learn how to spell secondly, your story did not happen to your friend, you took it straight from the movie Paranormal Activity

8 1
Reply Report
azhein 0

number 5 do you seriously think that was the fml?

3 0
Reply Report
lagodfatha 0

um I don't understand ur story at all u confused the hell outta me

0 0
Reply Report
Daemonknight 0
Send a private message

5, please stfu and get off the internet

1 0
Reply Report
Yaggi 0
Send a private message

#5 what you're referring to is the movie called paranormal activity.

0 0
Reply Report
Juliaa15 6
Send a private message

I'd have to agree with 111. The use of "totes" not only made me want to give a courtesy chuckle, but it totes wanted me to join in and troll too.

2 2
Reply Report
ArielTheMermaid 17

yeah I knew where it was going when he said micah

2 0
Reply Report
Bizenghastly 0
Send a private message

5- O_O I sincerely hope you are not as pathetically retarded in real life.

1 0
Reply Report
tifani322 13

Nobody cares...?

22 0
Reply Report
Hershey903 5
Send a private message

I really just wanna take your keyboard and hit you in the urethra with it. That'll teach you to spell.

25 1
Reply Report
kdog333 1

WTF?!

5 0
Reply Report
mahna_fml 3
Send a private message

Lulz Paranormal Activity.

5 1
Reply Report
flgirlwguitar 2
Send a private message

Shoulda changed the lock.

27 1
Reply Report
watchasay71 4
Send a private message

LOL it's funny yet disturbing at the same time.

27 0
Reply Report
xCrackerx 3
Send a private message

She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.

70 1
Reply Report
Rebecca1993 0

Lmfao.

2 2
Reply Report
jake040 3

dogs can't make sandwiches though

15 10
Reply Report
jake040 3

dogs can't make sandwiches though

2 15
Reply Report
sacman 0
Send a private message

what the christ?

12 2
Reply Report
Tigg3r 3
Send a private message

pun intended?

11 2
Reply Report
snafu57 1
Send a private message

does she look like Meryl Streep? fatal attraction if I ever heard one. she isn't afraid of commitment, though. that's a plus

7 2
Reply Report
waterynuggets 0

Nah I think it would help more if she resembled Glenn Close.

0 0
Reply Report
Next