FML : Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top...

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Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 20 December 2009 08:47 / Canada

Miscellaneous

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Top comments

By Rebecca1993 | 0

#728424 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:20

._. boy do you know how to pick them.

By xCrackerx | 3

#728488 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:48

She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.

Comments

By M13LO | 0

#728413 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:14

you should have got busy since she was already there

powersmoke | 0

#728673 - Sunday 20 December 2009 18:42

You banged her afterwards, right?

keenanherlihy | 0

#729484 - Monday 21 December 2009 7:08

i woulda

im_asian | 0

#857391 - Monday 15 February 2010 8:56

i wouldnt. craziness is a turn off for me. unless shes got some epic tits.

czarofandronia | 0

#1171519 - Sunday 1 August 2010 17:00

LMFAO
U should get a restraining order on that chick

Quinzel_fml | 0

#2778806 - Tuesday 28 June 2011 11:19

i agree

Bcfrmkc816 | 17

#3045449 - Friday 5 August 2011 16:22

why if a guy does something like that he is a creeper or perv but it's perfectly ok for a bitch to do it?

By kerrygirl | 13

#728418 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:16

furstttt

By Rebecca1993 | 0

#728424 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:20

._. boy do you know how to pick them.

jessxoxo28 | 5

#728879 - Sunday 20 December 2009 22:05

lmao, agreed

DizzyVulps | 0

#739213 - Sunday 27 December 2010 19:20

scary ._.

By yes_im_hater | 0

#728449 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:31

are you jesus? do you happen to work at a Record and Tape Traders?

greenltrn2003 | 0

#728976 - Sunday 20 December 2009 23:32

well...of course. the bird is the word

quotecentral | 0

#729602 - Monday 21 December 2009 9:39

LMFAO, thats what i was thinking : )

By JustAReaderOfFml | 4

#728453 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:32

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

KingAfter | 0

#728461 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:37

of course it's an FML, I mean I guess he had a reason to break up with her and doesn't wanna have a relationship with her anymore, while she crazily does. but the really bad part about this is that she has a key... that's pretty creepy. if he does something she doesn't like she can sneak into his apartment and mess it up.
you should've seen the crazy eyes though, so YDI!
j/k FYL.

catastrophicsock | 0

#728693 - Sunday 20 December 2009 18:52

Hi. Please learn English/learn how to type. Thanks.

guy_whos_sad | 0

#728725 - Sunday 20 December 2009 19:27

Learn how to spell out words........

mrlucky4444 | 0

#728803 - Sunday 20 December 2009 20:39

#5- first of all, learn how to spell
secondly, your story did not happen to your friend, you took it straight from the movie Paranormal Activity

azhein | 0

#967525 - Wednesday 24 March 2010 23:27

number 5 do you seriously think that was the fml?

lagodfatha | 0

#980513 - Friday 16 April 2010 20:22

um I don't understand ur story at all u confused the hell outta me

Daemonknight | 0

#1130223 - Friday 23 July 2010 22:55

5, please stfu and get off the internet

Yaggi | 0

#1218826 - Tuesday 10 August 2010 21:19

#5 what you're referring to is the movie called paranormal activity.

kittydidit | 0

#1688314 - Friday 12 November 2010 14:39

LOL

Juliaa15 | 6

#1805771 - Tuesday 7 December 2010 3:19

I'd have to agree with 111. The use of "totes" not only made me want to give a courtesy chuckle, but it totes wanted me to join in and troll too.

ArielTheMermaid | 17

#2582337 - Sunday 29 May 2011 5:05

yeah I knew where it was going when he said micah

Bizenghastly | 0

#3189088 - Saturday 27 August 2011 15:27

5- O_O I sincerely hope you are not as pathetically retarded in real life.

tifani322 | 13

#4025936 - Sunday 12 February 2012 19:22

Nobody cares...?

Hershey903 | 5

#4758102 - Wednesday 1 August 2012 7:46

I really just wanna take your keyboard and hit you in the urethra with it.
That'll teach you to spell.

kdog333 | 1

#5092221 - Sunday 28 October 2012 22:34

WTF?!

mahna_fml | 3

#5129026 - Friday 9 November 2012 1:55

Lulz Paranormal Activity.

By flgirlwguitar | 2

#728457 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:34

Shoulda changed the lock.

By watchasay71 | 4

#728479 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:44

LOL it's funny yet disturbing at the same time.

By xCrackerx | 3

#728488 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:48

She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.

Rebecca1993 | 0

#728509 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:58

Lmfao.

jake040 | 3

#2516953 - Monday 16 May 2011 5:33

dogs can't make sandwiches though

jake040 | 3

#2516970 - Monday 16 May 2011 5:35

dogs can't make sandwiches though

By sacman | 0

#728491 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:50

what the christ?

Tigg3r | 3

#729070 - Monday 21 December 2009 0:51

pun intended?

By snafu57 | 1

#728508 - Sunday 20 December 2009 16:57

does she look like Meryl Streep? fatal attraction if I ever heard one. she isn't afraid of commitment, though. that's a plus

waterynuggets | 0

#728533 - Sunday 20 December 2009 17:11

Nah I think it would help more if she resembled Glenn Close.

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