Work: Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/02/2011 16:27 - United States

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 915

You deserved it 3 732

Dysfunctional

Damn kids!

Facebook's moderation sucks

By Jen_ - 26/01/2012 22:08 - France

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 427

You deserved it 3 007

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 462

You deserved it 6 177

By sweet2u22 - 27/02/2011 02:30 - United States

Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 901

You deserved it 7 511

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 16:04 - United States

Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 484

You deserved it 5 904

By Starter656 - 24/12/2017 06:00

Today, I'm the designated driver for a Christmas party I wasn't even invited to. Not only do I get to watch people have a good time, but I'm also supposed to not get involved in the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 319

You deserved it 782

By thanksalot - 10/07/2010 20:05 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 817

You deserved it 4 478

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 074

You deserved it 72 430

This is us

By Anonymous - 15/06/2020 17:04

Today, after 14 years of relationship, him forgetting every anniversary and birthday, and being disloyal several times, my boyfriend offered to buy us friendship rings. Because I according to him, I seem to care for such gestures, and it would fix our problems. 14 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 2 278

By jaimie - 19/03/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 774

You deserved it 8 606

Force of habit, or just mean?

By leogs23 - 02/03/2021 20:01

Today, my fiancée’s siblings kept calling me by her ex-boyfriend’s name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 57

By DarkMaskDiva - 16/06/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, I found out the medications my doctor gave me for depression are making me fat. My main reason for depression is an eating disorder. Now, I'm fat instead of just thinking I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 065

You deserved it 6 098

By rock'n roller - 03/12/2013 03:42

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 593

You deserved it 6 444

By ouch - 27/01/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 363

You deserved it 2 135

Time to move

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 06:01

Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 69

By JT - 12/04/2011 14:19 - Canada

Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 215

You deserved it 13 380

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 22:00

Today, I drove my truck into the garage for a couple of minor repairs. It was returned on a flatbed with a blown engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 01/11/2017 04:00

Today, three days before their rent was due, my fiancé's friends moved out of our basement without saying a word to us. On their way out, they took an envelope from my locked desk with $800 in it that was for our wedding in six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 204

You deserved it 288

By hmacy - 01/10/2017 01:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 507

You deserved it 523

Strange dynamic

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 01:59

Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 2 033

By thesadone - 03/07/2010 06:49 - United States

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 891

You deserved it 10 727

By Raprotcommander - 07/02/2011 15:47 - United States

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 270

You deserved it 54 219

By Etta - 04/03/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunch time, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 429

You deserved it 561

Social parasites

By BlackBear1996 - 04/11/2021 05:00

Today, I blocked my landlord on social media messengers because he wouldn't stop trying to get with me, while living in a house with him, his wife, and kids. I wasn't interested, and wanted to be respectful and protect my living situation. My disinterest upset him. I now have until next month to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 77

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 02:46 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 035

You deserved it 3 494

By anon - 20/07/2011 07:55 - Canada

Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 894

You deserved it 3 328

Black Lives Matter

By jack1057 - 14/07/2020 05:01

Today, I was on my way home and there were BLM protestors, who I have no problem with, but my car was parked where they were and I had to sit there for three hours until they left so I could drive off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 273

Especially for dad

By anonymous - 01/02/2020 20:00 - United States - Shawnee

Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 086

You deserved it 358

By shadowfigure - 23/01/2011 05:47 - United States

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 459

You deserved it 8 295

By Sonic - 29/03/2019 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss left a lovely invitation to her wedding on my desk. I plan on resigning during our meeting later today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 208

By cunting cuntface of a boss - 25/02/2014 20:42 - Australia

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 070

You deserved it 3 461

Why People Break Bad

By Gnomead - 12/08/2018 18:30

Today, I got turned down for a home for low income people because my income was too low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 089

You deserved it 195

By Nissan_David - 18/01/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 388

You deserved it 2 796

By kay51 - 24/11/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 754

You deserved it 27 370

By really? - 13/08/2013 06:58 - United States

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 512

You deserved it 6 682

By YoshiSqu4d - 22/05/2019 04:00

Today, my father told me I was becoming violent because of the video games I play. I was playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 192

By noway - 22/03/2015 04:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 810

You deserved it 3 435

By Ivan - 02/03/2011 10:10

Today, at work I tried to help an old man by opening the door for him. He flipped me off because I was wearing a Kansas State University shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 445

You deserved it 9 251

By iAmJasper - 17/09/2014 21:56 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 350

You deserved it 8 849

By Anonymous - 06/03/2016 18:49 - United States - Atwater

Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 016

You deserved it 1 208

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 507

You deserved it 6 464

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:54

Do you work in a bank ? ^^

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:24

YDI for thinking you have to work at a circus to be attacked by clowns.

Comments

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:50

this is righteous. hahahaha

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:49

nice

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:52

I really don't see how people are so afraid of clowns..

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 20:38

I'm afraid of clowns but that is hilarious

ifyouseekamy666 0

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 22:21

I'm not afraid of clowns but I'm afraid of balloons so I guess I'm afraid of clowns that have balloons... Anyways this FML made me giggle tehe :3

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 1:39

fluorescent adolescent? i love that song :)

tona01 16

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 3:24

i'm afraid of clowns since i saw IT when i was little

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 3:36

McDonnalds has a clown. Maybe multiple Ronalds attached him.

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 15:21

im not afraid of clowns i just hate them. really hate them!

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 18:02

me too I couldn't go pee for a year after I saw IT.

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 21:17

One word for you: PENNYWISE

gamercanadian 11

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Thursday 10 February 2011 9:53

I'm afraid of clowns and dolls lol after seeing the movie Child's play when I was like 6 yrs old.

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:52

WIN hahahaha

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:54

Do you work in a bank ? ^^

skittesryummy98 0

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 1:35

EPIC WIN ^

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 4:02

The OP lives in Missouri, and so do I O.O

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Sunday 13 February 2011 15:46

I don't get it lol

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Saturday 19 March 2011 17:46

I was born in Missouri !

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 18:59

hahaha maybe you was on mushrooms or somethin

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:03

Maybe you is on mushrooms or somethin

ifyouseekamy666 0

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 22:21

tehe :3

hopelessxdesign 5

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 0:18

wow, sorry but you both fail...it would be "maybe you were on mushrooms" in the past tense, and "maybe you are on mushrooms" in the present tense.

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 4:14

#44 I believe he was mocking him

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Saturday 12 February 2011 9:11

ok mrs i know everything thx for the lesson i dont think she was correcting him

swinglifeaway123 8

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Thursday 15 September 2011 20:33

You look like a fat Justin beiber.

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:04

Cliniclowns?

krysxkatastrophe 14

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:14

What did I tell you about staying away from them Juggalos!?!

Necrocephalous 0

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:44

MMFCL

WickedClownMCL 1

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Monday 20 February 2012 2:15

Yea sorry we got the wrong guy... MMFWCL

WhiteZoneRedZone 6

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:15

All those pies in the office fridge should have tipped you off.

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:15

prity sure ya made this up

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 20:45

Are ya? Are ya prity sure? And how can ya be so sure? Do you work with OP? No. Are you a clown? No. Did you organise the attack? No. Are you breaking the commenting rules by yelling "fake"? Yes. Do you deserve to have a clown shoe up your ass? Fuck yes.

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 21:25

Lol nice doc. But better a clown shoe then a beer bottle like that poor bastard in your picture xD

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 21:50

Hear ye, hear ye, the word of DocBastard. *obligatory chorus*

leprachaun405 0

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 3:07

all hail the might doc!!

Acousticpixie14 6

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 7:22

Seriously people. That is not the shape of a beer bottle! Looks more like a Coke bottle...

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:16

big deal. their clowns. WHOOP DE DOO! not.

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Tuesday 8 February 2011 21:32

Thanks for transporting me back to the 90s.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 8

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 9

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 111

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 84