By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 348
You deserved it 1 256

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These damn bird people

Well the customer is always right...

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These damn bird people

At least the man didn't poop ON his car

well thats shitty

I don't see how people can still make this comment and not expected to be buried

I think they do expect to be buried but make the comment anyhow to get it out there or something.

Well the customer is always right...

I heard that it washes off easier than bird poop

Don't worry OP, the same thing happened to me at work. But then again, I work with 2 year olds...

Don't think I've ever met a drunk two year old lol

You haven't seen a dunk 2 year old before? I guess you don't watch honey boo boo. I hear that "go-go juice" is 1 part vodka, 1 part coffee, with a splash Mountain Dew thrown in for flavor. Apparently it's all the rage on the playgrounds these days.

2 year olds are drunk all the time. Have you never noticed the way they stumble around slurring their words?

Brace yourselves, the shit puns are coming.

well that's... unfortunate.

To be fair, they had particularly shitty timing.

Well they weren't lying.

Hopefully it wasn't diarrhea Oy

I don't think that's the right kind of "business" that you are looking for. You should redirect the man to the real toilet, down at the police station ...

Look at the bright side, nobody will want to steal that good ornament.

*hood. Just caught that.