By LightningRod - 18/10/2021 11:00
By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01
By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 20:01
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You never know, your engagement ring might actually be really special, and this might just be a cheap knockoff. Give your fiancé the benefit of the doubt
That was my initial thought, too! Companies that make "fashion jewelry" (cheap fake stuff) usually emulate the real stuff...especially the more expensive looking stuff. OP, chill until you know for sure. Ask a jeweler. If it's legit, forget about it. If it's not, then communicate with your fiance in a calm rational manner.
The ring should be special because of what it symbolizes, not what it costs, though. I understand being angry if OP's fiancé lied about the ring (lies aren't a good way to start a marriage), but the value is the thought behind it, not what he paid for it (or where he got it).
I don't get why such value is placed upon an object like that. A wedding ring is understandable, but expectations of expensive jewellery for an engagement are a bit outdated now.
Normally, I would agree. But I think the problem is the lie (if in fact he did lie). He presented the item as though it were something it's not, pretending to have made great sacrifice when in fact he did not. Perhaps she would've been content with a simple engagement ring, but the lie cheapened it even further than Kmart could've.
Yup. The whole engagement ring scam was started by Debeer's. I'm fact, diamonds aren't rare by any stretch of the imagination. They are stockpiled to give the illusion of rarity and boost prices of what is a ridiculously common, worthless rock. Who says it's the fiancee who lied. Maybe his mother gave it to him with this elaborate story.
Totally agree with #2. I understand IF you are disappointed that the ring is not truly a family heirloom. If that's not the case, then yes, it is too bad. But if you are disappointed about the price of the ring, I would definitely call that a YDI. Weddings and engagements are already expensive and stressful enough as it is. If you are going to be angry at him for not breaking the bank on the ring purchase, then you will have even greater issues after tying the knot. Please tell us that you know what truly is important, especially if you do love this man. Choose your battles, because true love is priceless. If you value material things over your fiancé, might as well call it quits now. Good luck figuring this out OP. Best wishes to you both.
I personally would like my future engagement/wedding rings to be in the "expensive" (AKA at least from an actual jewelry store and made from a good metal rather than Target) end, simply because I love fancy jewelry and I feel that if there's ANY ring that I own that is expensive, it should be the ring that means the most to me. Of course, that's my personal opinion, anyone can do whatever they want, and I'd be 100% willing to buy the rings (engagement and wedding) with my own money since its my own fault I have expensive taste. But even if the problem isn't the cheapness of a ring (you can't really expect a K-Mart to last for years and years), the fact that he lied about it is just awful and disrespectful. If you are marrying someone, you should have the balls to be honest with your partner about finances or opinions. "I can't afford a nice ring right now", "I think it's pointless to buy such an expensive ring", etc. He should've told her, and then she could've either waited or fork over some of her own cash to pay for the ring she wants. I think it's only if she throws a hissy fit after he's been honest in the first place that this situation would be a YDI.
I told my fiancé I did not want a ring that costs more than $200. My ring was $170 and everyone comments in how beautiful it is. On the other end, I have a friend that told their now husband they wanted the traditional engagement ring. It was more of the "I want something to pass down to our kids" reason. Her ring is very pretty and just as special to her. I don't think it is fair to judge a woman on her idea of a ring without knowing the whole story. Op could have loved the idea of the heirloom and felt like it completely welcomed her into the family or OP could have pressured her fiancé into getting some expensive, antique ring just to show off and her fiancé felt pressured (and broke) and just went with that story.
I'm husband could only afford to spend a three hundred dollars on mine, and it's blue topaz instead of diamond. Did I have dreams of a big diamond ring, sure, but the proposal was all I really wanted. :) Now I really like having something different from everyone else.
i would sort of have to have an 'expensive' ring because I'm sensitive to cheaper metals, so it would either have to be at least sterling silver for me to not break out from wearing it. That doesn't mean that i want a big super fancy ring with a huge diamond, i just can't have one that is plated or made of copper or something, it doesn't even need to have a gem on it either actually
#70 I think you're the only person that replied who I totally agree with. Everyone else gets something wrong. Like I understand that you shouldn't want to bankrupt your fiancé for a nice ring, but $20 is ridiculous. And I thought it was pretty obviously the fact that he lied about it, not that it didn't cost a lot. Also, old heirloom true diamond and gold rings are very expensive because those actually are rare. Most people get a brand new ring, it's very rare and special to get something like an heirloom. It's like lying about your grandma being sick to get out of something you don't want to do, it's a low blow.
I partially disagree with this. A wedding ring is just a band. It shouldn't be extremely expensive. Engagement rings are normally diamond which is stupid expensive. I've never understood the desire for diamonds. My engagement ring is opal and amethyst and cost $200 with a protection plan. It's absolutely perfect for me.
I'd be pissed off with a $20 Kmart ring, because it would be made of crappy materials that wouldn't last, and I'd never be able to wear it for fear of damaging it. I suppose it could always be replaced down the track, but I attach sentimental values to objects, and would want the ring that I was proposed to with to be the ring I had forever. I'm not saying a ring needs to be insanely expensive, but I'd expect it to be soundly constructed and pretty (looks are important if you're wearing something every day for the rest of your life).
Nothing wrong with that. The ring is only a symbol of the commitment he's given you. I would have been happy with a freaking string when my husband proposed because he was saying he wanted me for the rest of his life, not "look how much I can spend on you."
So are you complaining that your fiance got you a cheap ring or the fact that he lied?
personally, while I don't believe a ring should be thousands or even several hundred dollars, I think buying a cheap knock-off of an engagement ring says something about a person's character, especially if they're not particularly hard up for money and/or tend to spend the money to buy themselves nice things. Not saying this guy op is with is this way, but I do think it's uncalled for to jump down op's throat because of her potential disappointment in the fact that the only thought the bf put into the ring was the lie.
If you want to know if it's real, go to a jewelry store or jewelry department within a department store and ask them to test the diamond. It takes two seconds.That will at least tell you if it's a real diamond. That said, would it affect your relationship if it was fake? You'll have to dig deep to decide if you really want or care to know. And if it would be a detriment, what is that saying about your relationship?
Also you can look really quick inside the ring to see if it has any markings. Most rings that are gold will have a marking of who made it, and how many karats of gold the ring is. Now, if it's older, or has been resized very much, it may not show a marking as readily. If it has the markings (which can be hard to read since they're small and sometimes smudgey) then you know it's definitely not the 20 dollar knock off from kmart.
Um, of course it would affect the relationship if your fiancé went out of their way to lie to you! And of course you would want to know! Or at least I know I would. If he's so willing to lie to me about a stupid ring just to impress me, who knows what else he might be lying about for god knows what pathetic reason? And as for what it says about your relationship? It says that you care about honesty and probably won't want to marry a liar who you clearly can't trust.
I think that it IS a big deal because if it is a 20 bucks item it means that her fiance is not an honest person and is morally capable of fabricating lies, lying to his own wife to be and for such a stupid issue and reason, unless op is a demanding person beyond reason and made him feel she expects much much more than what he can offer and put him in such a tight corner, I think OP should take this as a hint that he is not an honest person abd should reconsider her relationship.